V-Voice testing...

[fookingloveya]

Wot the fook do you think ya doin'? No. No. I know what you're thinkin' yeah? That's a given.

No. None of this is gonna work out between us. This whole muse-mun relationship thing goin' on is a bunch of bullocks. Ya are not gonna get any ideas about gettin' me involved in anythin', got it?

Either ya fook off or you're gonna get a slap in the face. Your choice mate.

And no. This username doesn't apply to ya.

Comments

[easy_a]

You got a shit mun, too?

It's a proper party.

[fookingloveya]

Ya. She thinks she can just wave me around like some fookin' puppet.

I don't need any of this shit.

[easy_a]

I know, I know. They're a bunch of twats.

Can't get mine to do anything right, either. It's such bullshit.

[fookingloveya]

How long have you been at this? Cuz I've only been with this wanker for less than a day and I'm already gettin' pissed off.

[easy_a]

Few weeks, maybe? I got no fucking clue.

I swear, there are literally no clocks around in her head. It's almost like she wants us to go mental with trying to figure out the time.

[fookingloveya]

Well this one here is gonna get a slap to the face and a punch to the gut if she doesn't get her shit together. It's like her mind is on fookin' drugs in here. Shit flyin' around and everythin'.

[easy_a]

Wot, is she on drugs or something?

Pretty sure that stuff can turn muns into complete nutters... if they're not already. It's like they're always fucking high.

[justanothercop]

[...eyebrow raise]

Need some help, Miss?

[fookingloveya]

And how exactly can you help with my situation here with this twat of a mun of mine?

I couldn't help myself - I love Kelly

[justanothercop]

[shrug]

You just strike me as someone who has a lot of anger that you haven't bothered to keep pent up.

[another eyebrow raise]

I'm not sure your language is appropriate.

Ahah I do too <3

[fookingloveya]

Why the fook should you care?

And I can talk how I want to, ya prick! No one's forcin' ya to listen to me, yeah?

[tripled]

[OH MY GOD he forgot how terrible your accent is]

Mm. So feisty.

It's not so bad, yeah? You can have a wank whenever you want and there's no reason to wear trousers. Yeah, it's a man's dream, really.

[fookingloveya]

[DEAL WITH IT]

Ya. A man's dream. Not mine. This place is a fookin' shithole.

[tripled]

Yeah? I'd rather be here than picking up litter at the community centre. There's some women here, yeah? And I'm not saying I shagged 'em, but... I shagged 'em. And it was the best fifteen minutes of their lives. I'm a fucking God 'round here! Nathan Young, master of love. Now, you ladies didn't appreciate what you had. And now it's gone. Try not to cry too hard about it, will you?

[fookingloveya]

You're a shitty liar.

[tripled]

Hey now! It pains me to hear you talk like that. It may be hard to hear, but I am a very wanted man! Any man with this beautiful of a face is irresistable. It's science.

[fookingloveya]

[NOT IMPRESSED]

I think you're overexaggeratin' how much people want a ya. Once they get past the face... it's all fookin' down hill from there.

[tripled]

So you like my face.

[geminated_man]

Heeeeey! Oh there's my girl. Good old Kelly! Knew I could rely on you! Knew ya wouldn't let me down!

[fookingloveya]

[YOU'RE BEING AWFUL CHUMMY]

What the fook did ya do?

[geminated_man]

Me? Oh. Nothin. Nothin. And I certainly didn't take a shit in the probation worker's desk. No. Only a total prick would do that.

[He looks around, totally stealthy, and drops his voice] So you'll never believe what I've just done.

So I'm doin' my work, right? Workin' real hard, honest day's community service, moppin' the big room, yeah? And all of a sudden, the egg sandwich I've had for breakfast starts to turn. So I look round and wonder, "where's a good place to have a proper shit?" And as it just so happens, the office door's been let open, yeah? So I just... let meself in, unzipped and let go, right in the drawer, the nastiest, most vile - oh ya shoulda seen it, Kel. Even you'd have been proud of me.

[fookingloveya]

That's fookin' disgustin'! Do you like pissin' off the probation worker?! Seriously! You're gonna be in a world of hurt by him if he finds out, ya?

[geminated_man]

Well then we're not gonna have a problem, now are we? Not like I smeared it on the fuckin' windows and wrote my name or nothin'.

Thought about it, but didn't wanna get meself caught red-handed now did I?

Or brown. Y'know. Close enough, really.

[fookingloveya]

Stop. Just. Stop it, would ya?

[GROSS]

[geminated_man]

Fine, fine. I'll just let ya know I won't be eatin' eggs again anytime soon. Just straight through me. Impressive splatter reach though. Gotta admit I'm pretty impressed with meself.

On that note, I am fuckin' starvin'. We goin' anywhere for lunch? or are you and your little boyfriend there gonna have a quick dine in his super-cool car if ya know what I mean, love?