Like everyone else...Meet the Pyro commentary.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

So zhat is how zhe Pyro sees zhe vorld. It is even stranger zhan I could heff imagined. So long as it is our Pyro und not zhe BLU one ... I can handle zhat. Just keep zhe ozher one far avay from me as possible, zhank you very much. Zhe smell of burning flesh und clozhing is one I vould like to forget about.

Zhis does explain vhy he is just so happy all of zhe time, zhough. If I vere in a delusional fantasy vorld, I vould be zhat happy, too! But some of us heff to live in reality, you know, und deal vizh everyone dying constantly! Ach...Vell, nevermind zhat. At least now I heff ... insight into zhe Pyro's mindset. It does not ease my mind at all, but vhat vould?

Seeing zhe BLU Medic cower in fear like zhat vas hilarious, zhough. If anyone deserves to feel zhat kind of fear, it is him. Schadenfreude ist die shönste freude!

Comments

[hasstandards]

You're not much good if you're dead, Doc. I still think a rifle that heals wouldn't be a bad idea. Not sure how you'd go about makin' bullets like that, but I'm sure you could think of something.

[The part where you're probably not the best shot would be trickier to get over.]

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

...

Also, keep in mind zhat vhile I am good at melee combat, zhe ranged? Not so much. I do not heff time to learn to shoot zhis zhing, let alone figure out how zhe bullets vould vork.

[hasstandards]

Alright. You follow Heavy along to your death, then.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

If you keep zhat attitude, I vill not heal you, Herr Sniper. [That look? Yeah, he's serious.]

[hasstandards]

You say that like I need your help.

[And this is why he has pretty much no friends.]

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

You call "Medic!", do you not? You do not alvays heff a dispenser to run to.

[hasstandards]

I'm also usually far away from the battle. I can handle myself in a fight. I don't need an escort to keep me alive.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

Be zhat vay, zhen, but zhe next time you are on fire und out of jarate, do not come running to me.

[hasstandards]

Fine. And next time I see a Spy runnin' after you, I'll let him get his knife into your back before I take him out. I'm sure he'll appreciate the practice.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

You seem forget zhat zhe Pyro exists. [Whether or not the Pyro is a good spychecker is another thing.]

[hasstandards]

Doesn't mean Pyro is always watchin' your back. If you want that, maybe you oughtta hang around Truckie and the dispenser.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

Zhe Pyro gets bored of babysitting zhe Engineer's zhings. He vill tag along vizh me und zhe Heavy more often zhan not.

[hasstandards]

Nice to know you need two babysitters.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

Don't be such a baby about zhis. [Mocking? Why yes.] Zhere is a reason you heff no friends und live in a van.

[hasstandards]

[He doesn't like that tone at allllll.]

I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to do my job. And as for my car, it's practical.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

[No one does.]

You may not vant to piss off your teammates, eizher. It vill make doing your job just zhat much easier, na ja.

[hasstandards]

I didn't ask for your opinion, you know.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

But you opened yourself up for it.

[hasstandards]

That doesn't mean I care much for your advice, Doc.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

Vell, too bad. Vhezher you use it or not, you are getting it.

[hasstandards]

Don't ya think that's a waste of breath? Or time? Or anything, really.

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

I do heff anyzhing better to do right now und you could valk avay at any time! [His tone is so sing-song.]

[hasstandards]

I don't see why I oughtta do that. We can have a civil conversation.

[In other words, he's stubborn and not leaving just because you suggested it.]

[du_bist_also_haesslich]

But zhat is not as much fun.

You are also too stubborn for your own good, you know.

[hasstandards]

And why do you say that?