New Meet the Pyro video

[bring_the_beatdown]

No way mun! I was not scared. It ain't even like that. Look, right after the camera cut I got that creepy mutant but good. He didn't even see it comin, I was just like WHAM and then POW and then he's on tha ground and I'm standin' over him.

See mun? I had it handled.

I don't know why you think I was scared, cuz lady, I ain't scared of nothing. Ya hear me? NOTHING.

Comments

[hasstandards]

I think we all hear you. Whether we believe you is what you oughtta be asking.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Someone ask you four-eyes? Because I sure didn't.

And I didn't see you anywhere in there. You hiding five miles away somewheres? Don't wanna play down on the front lines with the big boys? Yeah, that's cool. I know I'm intimidating an' all. You don't gotta be ashamed.

[hasstandards]

Right. I don't gotta be ashamed I didn't end up burnt to a crisp like you.

[bring_the_beatdown]

HEY! That didn't even happen. They just didn't show it because they cut to some lame unicorns and puppies bullshit.

I totally won. You don't even know.

[freakinblur]

Who's scared? Who even said we're scared? That's total BS man cuz I ain't scared 'a no one.

[bring_the_beatdown]

My lame mun. I know right?! Like even thinkin' we'd be scared just blows my mind. That someone could be that stupid.

[freakinblur]

[snortlaugh] I know, right? I mean, we're professionals! We can handle this. Just a little fire. 'S nothin'.

[notintehkitchen]

Oh? You didn't have fun when I blew bubbles at you?

[bring_the_beatdown]

Wait ..bubbles? Hold on a sec, what are we talkin' about?

[Cute girl plus bubbles? COUNT HIM IN.]

[notintehkitchen]

I blew bubbles at you while you were wearing a diaper. You were pretending to be a baby, it was funny.

[vivisecting]

Ohhhh. Does ze little baby still have ze post-respawn chills? How adorable.

[bring_the_beatdown]

I don't even ... NO!

Look man. I didn't even die. I was fine. Shut up.

[vivisecting]

Nein, nein, you mistake my intentions. I'm genuinely concerned.

Do you need some varm milk? A... Ahhh, vhat do zhey call zem - Oh! A nice, cuddly teddy? A helping hand to assist vith ze skin grafting? I'm only offering because I know your own Medic isn't very adept vith getting past a wooden door, much less performing such a delicate procedure.

[sentryslinger]

At least you had a chance to outrun the fire, son. Some of us got our best shots in the end after all the damage was already done.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Hey, at least you didn't show up in some freaking baby outfit with wings.

[sentryslinger]

Better that than charred nearly beyond recognition. You never get used to that feeling.

s....neaks...in here....

[fatalflame]

Really? Because it seems like maniacs with fire scare you. It's not really that scary, though.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Didn't you hear me? I WAS NOT SCARED.

[Give him a minute for his brain to catch up with his mouth here.]

I uh mean. Yeah. Say, haven't seen you around here before.

[fatalflame]

But lies are often said just like that!

[giggle-giggle]

I keep quiet.

[inflammable]

S̷C̀ÓU̷̷͝T̵̛
̛
H̢͜͢E̸͜Y̢̕ Ś̨C̸O̕U̷͠T͠҉̴
͡͡
̶̶S̷͢CO̸̴͟U̸UO͟͡҉U͘̕O͝͞U̡͘U͘O͜UT

I see you Zalgo-ing all up in here.

[bring_the_beatdown]

[He only jumps about a million feet.]

DUDE! Don't sneak up on me like that!

I mean, Uh.. Yeah.

You came to let me beat you down? I didn't even have to come find you. Man you must be cruisin' fer a bruisin ya know what I'm saying?

it's the closest thing I can find to asbestos-choked text ;o;

[inflammable]

Ş҉̡C͏̸Ó̡͜͡͝U̷̵̧̧͢T̡
͘͟҉̧
͏̡͜D̷̷̵̴͝Ǫ͟҉͡ ͢҉͟Ý̵̶̧̛O͏̀͟Ù̸̵̀͞ ̢͘͠͞W̵̸̴͢͠A̢͡͡N̵̡̛͡T́͞͏̸
̴͠
̴S̵͜҉҉O̸͟͏͘M̷̸̷̨͢E̶̵̢͘͠ ̢́͏̀B́͘͜Ų͢͠B̷҉̧B̵͘͡͞L̷҉E̸̕͜͝S͢?̴͜?̶́͡?̶͜

[stabstabstab]

I'm afraid the video evidence is contradicting your statement, boy. You might do well to work harder on actually bettering your tactics than spreading ego-boosting lies.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Hey! I was doing just fine. That shit was just edited to make us BLUs look bad. We had it covered.

[Even he doesn't look like he believes that.]

[stabstabstab]

[Spy lazily ticks off one finger after another.]

Let's see. From the video footage, your Sniper was roasted, your Medic stuck in a burning building, your Heavy had face surgery, your Soldier's heart leapt out out of his chest, literally, and you were banging on the labourer's door before you got hit at point blank range with the Scorch Stop.

[So disappointed in you son.]

You can do better than that.