Tumblr broke his brain for the umpteenth time.

[gammabruce]

I'm at a loss for words here, mun. Something like this simply would not happen. I know you had hopes, your mindspace practically screams them at me sometimes, but it's just not feasible.

I couldn't take the risk of something going wrong. Which means it'd have to be very, very safe, and slow, and downright boring. Certainly nothing like... well, that. Besides, I don't even own that many necklaces, and...

I mean, I'm not actually thinking about it. I'm only pointing out how things would go if, hypothetically speaking, we ventured into a relationship beyond professional. Which we wouldn't, except as friends, and I think we already are.

No, I don't mean friends with-- actually, I'm not going to finish that statement. Discussion is over.

Comments

[starknaked]

What is with all the necklaces?

[Way to entirely and completely gloss over everything else Tony because, well, that seems safest.]

[gammabruce]

[This is why you are the best science bro, Tony.]

Your guess is as good as mine. I'd never wear one let alone... all of those.

[not_insane]

Tumblr is certainly a terrifying site.

[AU Loki's brain is a little broken too.]

[gammabruce]

It really, really is. There's a lot of you around there.

[He peeked only once or twice. Honest.]

[stretchy_pants]

My mun saw this earlier and has been staring at it for much longer than is healthy.

...It's bad enough that she and Tony's mun are always.. discussing this sort of thing.

[gammabruce]

Mine as well, unfortunately. Protests only encouraged her to stare longer.

Fortunately, I currently lack a Tony to... plot with. For tonight, I'm thankful.

[omar]

[Whoa, Omar is feeling the fuck out of that gifset.]

Decent bling, man.

[gammabruce]

[So. Much. Awkward.]

Erm. Thanks, but it's not mine. I don't actually own any kind of necklaces.

[neveracoward]

[Good God, Bruce. Of all the things, wow. Bravo for managing to surprise her.]

If you're focusing on the necklaces out of everything else...

[gammabruce]

[He tries, really.]

I have to. If I focused on anything else, I think my brain might implode from just how incredibly illogical it all is.

[burnmythoughts]

That.

Um.

That sure is a lot of necklaces.

[She's staring because she's...counting them. Yes.]

[gammabruce]

Yeah, it is. Why would anyone want that many, I have no idea.

[Necklaces! Always focus on those.]

[manofiron]

You're damn right something like that wouldn't happen. I'd never shave off my goatee.

[gammabruce]

Just one more illogical thing to add to the list of many, Tony.

[therealgenius]

[HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA FOREVER]

[gammabruce]

[Just keep on laughin', Justin. He's seen art of you and Vanko and Tony.]

[bloodbrothers]

[ Man you are so fuzzy. Did not need to know that. ]

Well. That explains much.

[gammabruce]

No. It... really doesn't. We're just friends.

[Denial forever, okay.]

[scarlet_discord]

....
....
...there is no way for me to respond honestly to this without you blushing like crazy and Tony's eyebrows going up into his hairline. So I'll just be quiet.

[She thinks that sex scene needs moar Wanda.]

[gammabruce]

...Thanks, Wanda. I think.

[He would not be entirely opposed to that arrangement.]

[voluminous_one]

Sir Bruce, as hypnotic as your rhythmic thrusting is, dost thou not fear what would happen, would your excitement cause you to trade places with the ogre?

oh my god i am crying

[lunging]

[JFC VOLSTAGG WHY WOULD YOU EVER]

[pheromones]

[ gaila approves. so much. ]

Benefits? Oh come on! You look like you'd be really good at it. [ really good at it. ]

[gammabruce]

Erm. Thanks, but for obvious reasons, I abstain.

[Pent up sexual frustration like whoah. All bottled up like his anger. He manages.]

mun didn't even see the whole gif set because at work.

[donthandmethings]

Hey, you found my tumblr. Well that's embarrassing.

[Is he texting you this from across the lab? Yes. Yes he is. For reasons. On the bright side, it's probably the first time today he hasn't been poking you for attention. Literally poking you. Like, he has an experiment going, and his hypothesis is that the Hulk would never actually hurt him to see how much of a pain he can be before Bruce removes himself from the situation.

Okay, so it's not so much of a hypothesis as... basically the entire basis of their friendship.]

do so when you can! it's, um. yeah.

[gammabruce]

[Just an eyeroll here. Really, Tony? Really. You're like... ten feet away from him. What is with the texting. But, hey, lack of poking, that's a good thing. Hulk wouldn't hurt Metal Man. Hulk likes him. And would tell him as much. Plus more. Just one more reason to keep him contained.

He won't respond with text, but vocally. His hands are busy, anyway.]

You have a tumblr? Somehow, I am not surprised. Actually, I'm surprised you don't have a whole forum dedicated to your greatness.

I tried to stop it, boss, but it was too late.

[gimmecornbread]

...the hell?

[gammabruce]

Pretty much what I was thinking.

[acid_rayne]

She puts you with Tony 2 and you'll be picking up more than just a reputation.

[gammabruce]

Please explain.

[nobodysweapon]

Handlers rarely take into account little things like our actual desires when they think about copulation.

They don't understand that we have to be gentle or else it can end badly. Although you have to be gentler than I would be. Not that I have found anyone I would desire such affairs with.

But, best not to humor them on the subject at all, they will just maintain delusions of hope.

[gammabruce]

She has, unfortunately, taken it too much into consideration. The amount of text she has read of others' interpretations on the subject would fill a novella at this point.

Gentle is an understatement. It's more about I'd rather not get involved at all, period. I'm confident enough, I feel, that it probably wouldn't be a problem, but there is always that one chance. I couldn't risk hurting anyone.

You seem familiar with this subject. Are you, too, afflicted with something similar?

trololol

[lieofasgard]

[Loki seems...unfazed. Disturbingly, amazingly, perfectly unfazed.]

Stark does not look quite as enthusiastic about this union as you do. Perhaps you need lessons.

[gammabruce]

[Such a troll, Loki. Also, you're scaring him with the unfazedness.]

It's not us. It's... an illusion. [aka He's Blaming You.] Or an alternate reality. But that's not me. Or Stark.