Tumblr broke his brain for the umpteenth time.

[gammabruce]

I'm at a loss for words here, mun. Something like this simply would not happen. I know you had hopes, your mindspace practically screams them at me sometimes, but it's just not feasible.

I couldn't take the risk of something going wrong. Which means it'd have to be very, very safe, and slow, and downright boring. Certainly nothing like... well, that. Besides, I don't even own that many necklaces, and...

I mean, I'm not actually thinking about it. I'm only pointing out how things would go if, hypothetically speaking, we ventured into a relationship beyond professional. Which we wouldn't, except as friends, and I think we already are.

No, I don't mean friends with-- actually, I'm not going to finish that statement. Discussion is over.

Comments

Be careful, or he might just eat you

[voluminous_one]

Well it is such a small beard, I say it was hardly noticeable.

As long as you drink his milkshake. That's proper cannibal etiquette, right?

[lunging]

[HOW DARE YOU]

At least I don't lose half my lunch in mine and snack on it throughout the day.

[voluminous_one]

Fandral, thou art a true friend and a brother in arms I would not trade for all the wealth in Odin's vault.








But I will sit on you.

[lunging]

[Ohohoho, there's that Errol Flynn laugh!]

Think of your children, Volstagg! If you do that, they'll be sitting on everyone in Asgard!

[voluminous_one]

Nonsense. If I do it, they'll all be sitting on you as well!

[lunging]

They sit on me enough as it is. My poor knees won't be able to contain all the little Volstagg asses if you don't stop feeding them.

[voluminous_one]

Think of it as past and present strikes to avenge future witty remarks, dashing one.

[lunging]

[SERIOUSLY VOLSTAGG YOU ARE THE BEST AND WORST BRO AT THE SAME TIME]

Oh, in that case, I'll have to take them for runs whenever Father and Mother need private time and therefore I am kept on babysitting duty.

For my knees' sake, of course.

[voluminous_one]

[Is that not the ideology of the Warriors Three?]

As long as you do not lose any of them. I'd rather face the wrath of Surtur than that of my wife any day.

[lunging]

[Ask Hogun. Maybe we'll get an answer out of him this century. We can try!]

I would rather face death than your wife in a foul mood, that is no exaggeration.

[Yeah handing over her kids hopped on sugar was something Fandral was never, ever tempted to do.]

[voluminous_one]

Aye, t'is no wonder I am known as the bravest of Odin's warriors, as I live under the threat of more than one Ragnarok at any given time.

[lunging]

The bravest? My, my, how highly the Valiant thinks of himself today!

[voluminous_one]

Am I not the Lion of Asgard?

[lunging]

[Oh you had to go there.]

Only because your overwhelming, voluminous hair is reminiscence of a lion's mane. A male lion does not hunt, you know.

...perhaps that is why you and your wife are such a beautiful match.

[voluminous_one]

Hmph! The lion does however, defend his pride and land to his last breath.

Perhaps at the next feast I should do more like a Lion and leave you only scraps.

[lunging]

You say that as though you leave anything behind at a feast. You would sooner hide those scraps beneath your helm for later than toss them at a starving dog.

[voluminous_one]

More so now, were that starving dog named Fandral.

THIS THREAD OMG I LOVE YOU GUIZE

[gammabruce]

[...Don't mind him. Bruce will just be over here. Facepalming. And refusing to respond to the inquiry of... the Other Guy appearing during sex. Because yes, that is precisely why he's been a freakin' monk for over six. years.]

Volstagg is naturally lovable

[voluminous_one]

Sir Bruce! I have questions.

[gammabruce]

All of them inappropriate, I'm sure.

[voluminous_one]

Doth the moving images show the truth or are they all false?

[gammabruce]

False. Very much false.

[voluminous_one]

The likeness is most troubling then. If I did not know better I would swear Loki had something to do with this.

[gammabruce]

If he can produce illusions such as that, it seems very likely.

[voluminous_one]

Aye, with his magical prowess and mind for mischief, there is little I would not put past him.