Tumblr broke his brain for the umpteenth time.

[gammabruce]

I'm at a loss for words here, mun. Something like this simply would not happen. I know you had hopes, your mindspace practically screams them at me sometimes, but it's just not feasible.

I couldn't take the risk of something going wrong. Which means it'd have to be very, very safe, and slow, and downright boring. Certainly nothing like... well, that. Besides, I don't even own that many necklaces, and...

I mean, I'm not actually thinking about it. I'm only pointing out how things would go if, hypothetically speaking, we ventured into a relationship beyond professional. Which we wouldn't, except as friends, and I think we already are.

No, I don't mean friends with-- actually, I'm not going to finish that statement. Discussion is over.

Comments

[starknaked]

Obviously someone that has never been in a lab. The number of accidents that could be caused by all those dangly bits is just terrifying.

And I don't only mean the necklaces.

[gammabruce]

Right. Exactly.

[Trying so hard not to smile at that last addition.]

You really can't help yourself sometimes, can you?

[starknaked]

Why would I even try?

[He's wonderful! Really. Just ask him!]

It's like cooking naked. You don't cook things like bacon because... No! Trust me on this.

[gammabruce]

What does that have to do with... well, anything?

[Okay. You win. Now he's laughing.]

The burns aren't that bad, actually. Just have to learn to keep your distance.

[starknaked]

[The best answer is always a distraction.]

That is maybe more than I needed to know about your cooking endeavors, Bruce.

[gammabruce]

...What?

[Derpy scientist is derpy.]

No, no, I meant I've cooked shirtless before, not entirely... without anything on. My clothes were drying at the time.

[starknaked]

Right. Of course. Limited wardrobe and all that. You know, we really need to get Reed Richards to make you clothingneed to find a way to keep you in clothes even... after.

[gammabruce]

We really do. I'd hate to ruin one of your overly expensive suits due to unfortunate circumstances.

[Not entirely true, because no suit should cost that much.]

[starknaked]

Wait. Stop. We're talking ruining your clothes, not mine. We don't touch mine.

You're not as worth as much on the black market. Not that I've checked how much anyone is worth. Except Loki.

And maybe Cap.

[gammabruce]

The suits I have to wear for the public appearances? Pepper picks them out. Bought with your credit - despite my protests - ergo, "your suits".

That's... reassuring? I'm sure my worth would lower dramatically if I didn't have the Other Guy.

[starknaked]

Oh those. Your suits once you wear them. Stop worrying about it. Would you rather I leave you to the polyester the government would kick you for you?

You underestimate the sorts that build weapons and the kind of brains they need for that.