Unemployed henchman

[squeak_squeaker]

Do you...uhh. Do you think I'll ever find Yzma, mun?

I know, she's not the easiest lady to work for... but I still kinda miss her! And you know how much she hates doing her own walking and stuff. Her own cooking. I wonder if she's eating right?

I sure hope so. She doesn't have to get any skinnier. I'm also wondering about Emperor Kuzco, I wonder what the little guy's up to. [Slow blinking.] Hey, maybe someone in here needs a henchman! I'm great at some really useful stuff, if I say so myself.

Fluent in chipmunk, I bake great pies... I give great hugs too! And you can even talk about your feelings with me. If you got a lot of angry feelings or sad feelings, we can...uhh. Talk about your feelings and stuff. I'm also, according to my mama, the most handsome guy in my home village! That's what she said.

Her words, not mine. Handsome. Think about it.

Comments

[yayoi_shioiri]

Hi ... I'm Yayoi. You sound like a really nice person. Is it true I can talk to you about my feelings?

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk shrugged shyly when this... girl? Guy? Told him that he seemed nice! Aww. Kronk wanted to be thought of as nice! That made him happy.]

Oh...uhh. Of course you can! [Patting the bench next to him, smiling.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi plays with his hair, which goes past his butt, and is black to the middle of his back, then white the rest of the way to the tips. He has cat ears and a tail that are also black with white tips. He sits next to Knonk on the bench.]

I'm twelve years old, and there's a girl I like -- Yuiko-san. She says she won't go out with me because she's taller than me, but she really likes Ritsuka-san who is short like me. We're the exact same height. Did you ever have a girl not like you? [He doubts it, seeing as Kronk is so big and handsome, like his mom says.]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk wasn't very surprised to see those cat ears! After all, his own boss turned into a cat once and then, when she slowly turned back, she was a really disturbing catgirl Yzma for a while. He furrowed his eyebrows in thought... for all his natural helpfulness, Kronk just wasn't the brightest crayon in the box! But he was determined to help all the same.]

Oh... I dunno about that. Never really...uh. [Kronk chewed on his bottom lip, nervously. Girls back in the village liked him... and older ladies, but he wasn't too interested in love himself yet.] That's a funny reason not to like a guy, because they're short!

It's not about your tallness, it's about being nice and remembering to brush your teeth in time. I think. [Slooow blinking.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

"That's what I thought, too -- the being nice part, at least." Yayoi sighed. "Ritsuka-san and I are friends now, too, but he wasn't always nice to Yuiko-san, and she liked him, anyway. Girls are hard to understand."

[squeak_squeaker]

But...uh. Does she know you're not a girl, buddy? [Kronk wasn't entirely sure himself what this little guy was!]

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi heaves a heavy sigh.] Yes, she knows. She's seen me in the boys' school uniform. I get mistaken for a girl all the time, though; it doesn't help that Yayoi is a girls' name, either. [He brightens a little] Ritsuka-san gets mistaken for a girl, too, though!

[squeak_squeaker]

Then it's not bad! [Big smile.] If you all look like girls, then...uh. Then it's normal for you guys!

Our Emperor kinda looks like one too. [Kronk stood at a lonely height of manliness? His biggest joy in life was squirrels, though.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

Really? He must be an interesting person ....

[Yayoi does a double-take suddenly as he notices something important about Kronk.] Hey, if you don't mind my asking, how old are you?

[lovemesomepie]

[Dude, everyone's mom calls her own son handsome.]

I don't do feelings, but I've never been one to turn down pie.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk didn't know that! There was a lot that Kronk just... kind of didn't know.]

What's your favorite kind of pie, buddy? [Smiling his big, vacant smile.] And it's awfully healthy to let your sensitive feelings out. It's not good to keep that all bottled up inside, you'll end up like Yzma!

Purple. And wrinkly.

[lovemesomepie]

Any kind's good. I don't discriminate. [Whatever pie he can get his hands on...]

I leave the chick flick moments to my brother.

[squeak_squeaker]

I like all pies too! I just...uhh. I like the part where you get to eat pie. [Slow nodding.]

I wish I had a brother. His name'd be Krank or Krunk and he'd be just like me! We'd like all the same stuff.

[lovemesomepie]

Don't we all.

You're a little old to get a brother, don't you think?

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah! And my parents stopped having more babies after the llama delivered me.

I dunno why. [It was a mystery!]

[lovemesomepie]

[Llama? That's a new one.]

They, uh, must've wanted you to have all their attention.

[squeak_squeaker]

Hah... or they got scared, because I was BORN with this chin! It wasn't a good look for a baby.

[Meanwhile, Kronk took all kinds of pie ingredients out of his apron pocket. Flour and sugar and chocolate... it was going to be good!]

[hands4healing]

What kinds of pies do you make?

[squeak_squeaker]

All kinds of pie; Chocolate pie, cherry pie, apple pie, lemon pie, pie pie!

[Pie pie was amazing!]

[hands4healing]

What's pie pie?

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uhh. Just a pie crust.

It's kinda boring, unless you REALLY love pie!

[hands4healing]

Um...but...

[Kronk, this does not compute. You may have broken Winry.]

[squeak_squeaker]

Are you doing okay there, miss? [Aww, but Kronk was being polite and everything!]

[hands4healing]

...just...a crust?

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah... it's pie at the...uh. Essence of pie!