Unemployed henchman

[squeak_squeaker]

Do you...uhh. Do you think I'll ever find Yzma, mun?

I know, she's not the easiest lady to work for... but I still kinda miss her! And you know how much she hates doing her own walking and stuff. Her own cooking. I wonder if she's eating right?

I sure hope so. She doesn't have to get any skinnier. I'm also wondering about Emperor Kuzco, I wonder what the little guy's up to. [Slow blinking.] Hey, maybe someone in here needs a henchman! I'm great at some really useful stuff, if I say so myself.

Fluent in chipmunk, I bake great pies... I give great hugs too! And you can even talk about your feelings with me. If you got a lot of angry feelings or sad feelings, we can...uhh. Talk about your feelings and stuff. I'm also, according to my mama, the most handsome guy in my home village! That's what she said.

Her words, not mine. Handsome. Think about it.

Comments

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi's tail wags eagerly] I'd really like to see a picture of you as a kid, yes, please!

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk showed him THIS: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2wh6jpmIg1r115hxo6_250.gif That was five year old Kronk, if you can believe it.]

See, I got a lot bigger!

[yayoi_shioiri]

WOW, you were really small! I mean, you were younger than me, but still, if you could grow THIS much, there's still hope!

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah, I was! Really tiny, I was the runt of my whole family.

No one expected me to grow up to be...uhh. The Kronk I am. [Slow blinking.] I even got my job with Yzma because I'm a big guy! Maybe you'll get big like me too.

And then...uh. You get a fancy job for being big.

[yayoi_shioiri]

I'd really love to get big like you for sure! As for the job .... [He ponders] I'll probably get something to do with computers, like programming. I'm pretty smart that way.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uhhhh. I'm not the smartest guy! [Kronk fidgetted with his shirt a bit, feeling shy about being... kinda dumb.]

What's computers?

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi can tell that things are different where Kronk is from, so he tries to think how to describe them.] They're kind of like magic boxes that allow you to connect with people far, far away. You can play games on them and write stories or buy items and have them delivered to your home -- they're really neat.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk tried to imagine it, it wasn't easy... not with Kronk's foggy little brain. It seemed like lots of fun, though!]

Woah. Do you think I can find Yzma if...uh. If I learn how to do computer? [Poor Kronk couldn't even read, though.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

Maybe you could, but it's hard to say. If she and you are from the same ... place? Era? ... then maybe she wouldn't be in the system.

[He paused, thinking] One of the nice things about the computer is that the people you meet through it don't care if I'm asthmatic -- they like that I'm good with programming and at computer games.

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah, she is! Yzma's also from Emperor Kuzco's...uhh. Emperor place.

[Kronk smiled, before looking a bit puzzled again.] Oh... do you think they're not going to care about how I'm kinda dumb?

But they won't be able to see my muscles either! [This was a problem.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi smiled. Kronk is so earnest.]

Nobody will care, and I don't think you're dumb at all. You can upload a picture of yourself, and then everyone will see your muscles, even all over the world.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was incapable of pretending to be anything else, he was honest to a fault!]

...oh, woah. I should do that! [Someone should tell him to be careful and not meet up with strangers, though! Uh oh.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

Yes, it's a lot of fun, and educational, too, but just be careful how much information you give people online. It's sad, but there are people who will take advantage of others all over the world.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uhh. I'll be extra careful! [Kronk was used to being taken advantage of back home and he didn't want it to happen again. He'd promised himself to be more wary of evil people and stuff.]

You know, your ears kinda look like kitty ears.

[yayoi_shioiri]

I guess they do, especially with the tails. It's one of the quirks of where I come from, like the magic battles that no one thinks I know about.

[squeak_squeaker]

It's better than my...uhhh. Really tiny Kronk ears.

[Shrug.] Those are kinda unfortunate AND they have no secret powers!

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi also shrugs] My ears have no magic powers, either. The magic is something that it seems only certain people have around here. Ritsuka-san's much-older friend Soubi-san has it, and he's got Ritsuka involved in it. [He leans close and whispers] He's a _sacrifice_.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk whispered back, even though he had a whole different meaning to the word sacrifice.] Poor guy... that's brutal!

They'll make him eat his own heart and then throw him feet first into the volcano. On the upside, you'll get healthier llamas.

[yayoi_shioiri]

Huh?! Oh! No, nothing like that! Although ... [Yayoi chews his lip] it's still dangerous. Soubi-san is the Fighter, and he uses word spells to do battle with another Fighter. The Sacrifices take the damage in the battle. Honestly, I don't know why or how Ritsuka-san got involved, and I wish he'd get out of it.

[squeak_squeaker]

That's kinda worrying, I don't think little kids should be fighting and stuff! Or ANYONE.

[Kronk was all about hugs not war! Maybe they should all share a group hug.]

[yayoi_shioiri]

[Yayoi patted Kronk's big arm] You're right, they shouldn't.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk smiled at him.] Maybe, if you give them lots of big hugs, they'll stop?

Those hugs have to be big, tho! Kronk hugs.