Clearing up some rumors

[has_an_army]

Do you believe every story you're told? Mortals tend to stretch the truth in order to further awe others and the story only grows as generations pass. It's the only thing they're good at really.

The rumors about my children are just that - a myth. You read entirely too much fanfiction.  Although that one about Stark and the potted plant was quite amusing.

Comments

[spiderhorse]

[MOM

WHY ARE YOU ABANDONING ME

AGAIN?]

[has_an_army]

[HE'S DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST - LYING.

Come let me hold you]

[spiderhorse]

[TROTTING FORWARD WITH A FACE THAT IS TOTAL (unsure) IN HORSE LANGUAGE

Also can horses frown? Sure they can, look at that frown.

Should I just...leave?]

[has_an_army]

Certainly not

All the mangst right now. All of it. Damn you Odin!

I lie to protect you and your siblings. The less others know the better]

[spiderhorse]

[Yeah but you abandoned all of them. Everyone but Slippery got the shaft, so. You know. Your mangst is not Odin's fault because Sleipnir got something out of being a deformed beastbaby.

You are ashamed of us?

Come on, show Tony Stark your horsekid. Thor can be all proud of his nephew and they can be like "but you're a man" and then all the awkwardness.

It'll be a gas!]

[wasp_stings]

Which rumors about your children are the myths here though?

[has_an_army]

I believe you have the privilege of an internet. Look it up. Norse mythology. Please feel free to note the one about Thor in a dress.

[wasp_stings]

Oh I know the myths surrounding your kids, Loki. I know for a fact that Hela is very real as is Sleipnir. I never did get to meet the other two, but that's probably a good thing.

What I was asking, what exactly is the myth concerning them? Or is this just your way of denying their existence.

[has_an_army]

[He's gritting his teeth]

I prefer not to be asked over and over again what it was like to lay with a horse.

[wasp_stings]

[Cue a giggle from Jan on that.]

Well that's a silly question, since horses don't exactly lay, now do they?

[She giggles further because the question should be 'What was it like to get mounted by a horse?']

[bringer_of_sorrow]

[Angrboda just stares. Seriously Loki? Are you really denying the children?]

Myths, you say?

[has_an_army]

[WHY DOES EVERYONE CHOOSE NOW TO COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK???

ASDFGHJKL;!!!]

For their own good. The less others believe the better.

[bringer_of_sorrow]

[WE'RE ALWAYS LURKING. B)]

For their good or your good?

[Don't forget she knows you Loki. One doesn't simply bear the children of the silver tongue liar without being aware of his reputation within the nine realms.]

[has_an_army]

[His tongue served him well enough in that regard, that is certainly the truth]

How can I serve one without the other?

[Oh, he's good. Damn good]

[bringer_of_sorrow]

Easily. It is called putting others before one's self. But I know better than to expect that of you.

[He's a talented liar indeed, but the witch of the Iron Woods has his number.]

[jerkfuck]

Who the fuck cares? I wish I had two dicks.

[has_an_army]

I care.

[Not even gonna go there

[jerkfuck]

You should bank on it. Sell that shit, roll in the dough. There's a market for everything, after all.

[dave stop that]

[has_an_army]

There is no such market to soothe my dignity and reputation

[lunging]

[wtf]

The Allfather's mount is famous, Loki. You cannot squirrel out of him.

[has_an_army]

[Oh just watch him try]

No one asked you.

[Sneeeeer]

[lunging]

[and fail because a bloo bloo everyone knows]

You asked your mundane. No reason to be nasty towards me.

[has_an_army]

[Illicit gossip!]

Yet you decided to involve yourself. What would you know of it all?

[Have you given birth to an eight legged horse lately?]

[valuesnotlife]

How cold of you, Loki Laufeyson. Have you not a single care for the feelings of your dear children?

[ooc: This is Blood Brothers!Hela, where Loki is an old man and not her Father. Oh, and he's the ruler of Asgard, so this should be lulzy.]

Or perhaps your throne of sand and wire has your undivided attention?

[mouthwithamerc]

Whatevs. So you know how when chicks get bummed they sit around eating ice cream and watching Lifetime movies? [or so he hears] When you get bummed, do you sit around eating the hearts of small children and watching reruns of Mr. Ed?