Clearing up some rumors

[has_an_army]

Do you believe every story you're told? Mortals tend to stretch the truth in order to further awe others and the story only grows as generations pass. It's the only thing they're good at really.

The rumors about my children are just that - a myth. You read entirely too much fanfiction.  Although that one about Stark and the potted plant was quite amusing.

Comments

[spiderhorse]

[MOM

WHY ARE YOU ABANDONING ME

AGAIN?]

[has_an_army]

[HE'S DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST - LYING.

Come let me hold you]

[spiderhorse]

[TROTTING FORWARD WITH A FACE THAT IS TOTAL (unsure) IN HORSE LANGUAGE

Also can horses frown? Sure they can, look at that frown.

Should I just...leave?]

[wasp_stings]

Which rumors about your children are the myths here though?

[has_an_army]

Certainly not

All the mangst right now. All of it. Damn you Odin!

I lie to protect you and your siblings. The less others know the better]

[has_an_army]

I believe you have the privilege of an internet. Look it up. Norse mythology. Please feel free to note the one about Thor in a dress.

[spiderhorse]

[Yeah but you abandoned all of them. Everyone but Slippery got the shaft, so. You know. Your mangst is not Odin's fault because Sleipnir got something out of being a deformed beastbaby.

You are ashamed of us?

Come on, show Tony Stark your horsekid. Thor can be all proud of his nephew and they can be like "but you're a man" and then all the awkwardness.

It'll be a gas!]

[has_an_army]

[What else was he supposed to do? Shame is a two way street after all

Of course not

And the mother of the year award goes to -

At least you're not a potted plant]

[wasp_stings]

Oh I know the myths surrounding your kids, Loki. I know for a fact that Hela is very real as is Sleipnir. I never did get to meet the other two, but that's probably a good thing.

What I was asking, what exactly is the myth concerning them? Or is this just your way of denying their existence.

[spiderhorse]

[Gasp!

Mom did you sleep with Poison Ivy?

YOU ARE A MARVEL AND SHE A DC

FORBIDDEN it is taboo!

Then why do you say these things?]

[verdantmistress]

I wouldn't mind if he did want to.

[has_an_army]

[Loki's sexual excursions are legendary even here.

To protect you from the slanderous writing and sayings of others

Oh he's smooth. Silver tongue and all]

[has_an_army]

[He's gritting his teeth]

I prefer not to be asked over and over again what it was like to lay with a horse.

[spiderhorse]

[But Mom...

But I don't care what others say. They don't matter. Only my family matters.

What are they saying? What could they say to bother him? He's the size of an elephant, is a horse of battle, oh, and he has eight fucking giant hooves. And he can fly.

Iron Man shut your golden alloy mouth.]

[spiderhorse]

[A DC

HE IS BEING SPOKEN TO BY A DC

Frost Giants are one thing but DCs oh gosh isn't there a video somewhere

...hi.]

[bringer_of_sorrow]

[Angrboda just stares. Seriously Loki? Are you really denying the children?]

Myths, you say?

[has_an_army]

That can be arranged.

[has_an_army]

[Oh aren't you a precious dear. Stop making his non-existent heart ache.

That is correct, child. Never fear, our time will come ]

[jerkfuck]

Who the fuck cares? I wish I had two dicks.

[wasp_stings]

[Cue a giggle from Jan on that.]

Well that's a silly question, since horses don't exactly lay, now do they?

[She giggles further because the question should be 'What was it like to get mounted by a horse?']

[has_an_army]

[WHY DOES EVERYONE CHOOSE NOW TO COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK???

ASDFGHJKL;!!!]

For their own good. The less others believe the better.

[verdantmistress]

You bring that helmet of yours and I'll bring the vine whips.

[has_an_army]

I care.

[Not even gonna go there

[has_an_army]

[Thanks so much for sparing him what's left of his dignity there]

Silence!

[spiderhorse]

[Mom why you gotta abandon all your kids and then deny they exist and then be a two-faced poopyhead to them?

Why you gotta do a thing?

What do you mean?]