Clearing up some rumors

[has_an_army]

Do you believe every story you're told? Mortals tend to stretch the truth in order to further awe others and the story only grows as generations pass. It's the only thing they're good at really.

The rumors about my children are just that - a myth. You read entirely too much fanfiction.  Although that one about Stark and the potted plant was quite amusing.

Comments

[has_an_army]

Certainly not

All the mangst right now. All of it. Damn you Odin!

I lie to protect you and your siblings. The less others know the better]

[spiderhorse]

[Yeah but you abandoned all of them. Everyone but Slippery got the shaft, so. You know. Your mangst is not Odin's fault because Sleipnir got something out of being a deformed beastbaby.

You are ashamed of us?

Come on, show Tony Stark your horsekid. Thor can be all proud of his nephew and they can be like "but you're a man" and then all the awkwardness.

It'll be a gas!]

[has_an_army]

[What else was he supposed to do? Shame is a two way street after all

Of course not

And the mother of the year award goes to -

At least you're not a potted plant]

[spiderhorse]

[Gasp!

Mom did you sleep with Poison Ivy?

YOU ARE A MARVEL AND SHE A DC

FORBIDDEN it is taboo!

Then why do you say these things?]

[verdantmistress]

I wouldn't mind if he did want to.

[spiderhorse]

[A DC

HE IS BEING SPOKEN TO BY A DC

Frost Giants are one thing but DCs oh gosh isn't there a video somewhere

...hi.]

[verdantmistress]

[YES A DC AND A MARVEL. THE MOST HATED OF RIVALS. THE MOST TABOO OF RELATIONSHIPS!]

...well aren't you...interesting looking. Hello.

[spiderhorse]

[Think, horse. Think!

So...grass is delicious.

...no. No, bad.]

[verdantmistress]

[quirks a brow, she doesn't look amused]

...I'm sure it is. [said as dryly as possible]

[spiderhorse]

[HE'S

KIND OF THE DUMB ONE HERE

Daffodils are too pretty to eat, though. We leave them alone, but we sniff them.]

[has_an_army]

That can be arranged.

[verdantmistress]

You bring that helmet of yours and I'll bring the vine whips.

[has_an_army]

A deal is struck.

...crackship ahoy. Set sail for the high seas!

[verdantmistress]

Do I have to sign a contract in my blood too, or is that part outdated? *smirks*

[has_an_army]

I would have other uses for your blood.

[Why yes those are some wicked sharp teeth he's displaying. Please feel free to ignore the family drama going on]

[verdantmistress]

I'm never shy from shedding a bit of blood for fun. Though, I can be quite poisonous, but I guess that wouldn't affect you, would it?

[smirk. OOC: Oh my god I am dying, I really want to draw this youhavenoidea]

[has_an_army]

[Loki's sexual excursions are legendary even here.

To protect you from the slanderous writing and sayings of others

Oh he's smooth. Silver tongue and all]

[spiderhorse]

[But Mom...

But I don't care what others say. They don't matter. Only my family matters.

What are they saying? What could they say to bother him? He's the size of an elephant, is a horse of battle, oh, and he has eight fucking giant hooves. And he can fly.

Iron Man shut your golden alloy mouth.]

[has_an_army]

[Oh aren't you a precious dear. Stop making his non-existent heart ache.

That is correct, child. Never fear, our time will come ]

[spiderhorse]

[Mom why you gotta abandon all your kids and then deny they exist and then be a two-faced poopyhead to them?

Why you gotta do a thing?

What do you mean?]

[has_an_army]

[Because he's the god of mischief and a total dickhead

When I rule Midgard, I will come for you

Ain't nothin' but a thing, babe]

[spiderhorse]

[the dog of assholery in action, lades and gentleman

Uh. Wait. What.

But I like Asgard. I don't want to go anywhere else.]