homeless

[lostweight]

Sexygahara? Who might that be? Is she some sort of vixen? Is she, as luck would have it, a goddess from the heavens sent to a pitiful human who dialed the wrong number and, on a whim, asked for a girlfriend to give him some sense of value and self-respect? Does she look that dirty to you, Mundane-san? Is she a lascivious, promiscuous, otherworldly call girl who answers to your every filthy need?

[ She narrows her eyes and tilts her head. ]

That aside, Mundane-san, I see no reason for you to speak with me at the moment. Your muses are settled, your applications are going well, and you are not sending me to any games. Ah, but I should point this out to you. There is a problem with your speed. There was never a Hitagi Snail, and if people got the story arc titles mixed up because of your terrible roleplaying, that will be troublesome, you know.

... This is merely an exercise to waste some time? I see. I truly feel like twenty-five minutes of my fictional life have been put to good use. In the time I could have used to push the plot along, I spent most of it at a club room talking about absolutely nothing. That's fine. It will make an almost decent light novel. I'll make sure to wipe my ass with it the next time I use the toilet.

Comments

[stapled]

What sort of romantic evening are you thinking about?! If you're holding my hand there, I'll probably be slipping off to an unknown world too quickly!

Ah, but if hand holding is still an option, then I'll pack a picnic basket for us there.

[lostweight]

Please do. I must apologize, but I will be too busy with breathing exercises to prepare a scrumptious meal for my boyfriend. After all, if you are to take responsibility, I would like to be near the appropriate place for the consequences of such things to occur.

[stapled]

Don't turn this into a murder mystery! Ah, but even though I say that, the culprit is obvious...

The hospital is rejected.

[lostweight]

Oh, so choosy. If you raise expectations too much, there will be nothing left.

[stapled]

As long as it's not the garbage chute, isn't it?

[lostweight]

You underestimate me. Be it urine or feces, I can withstand anything as long as I'm with you.

[ whispers this in his ear too yeahhhh that's

hot

no it isn't... ]

[stapled]

[ hot or not: decision decided ]

Roller derby rink.

[lostweight]

Eh?

I never knew you were so talented with your lower body to suggest a thing...

[stapled]

Don't suggest an innocent place is actually a sexual position!

Ah, and don't insinuate that's where my mind first jumps!

[lostweight]

To tsukkomi something I haven't even said, you are well ahead of your game, Araragi-kun, but that makes the thread less interesting. Perhaps I should drop it.

[stapled]

Your familiarity with breaking the fourth wall is troubling.

Fine, then I'll use a take back card.

[lostweight]

Unfortunately, those were only valid until March 22, 2012. See fliers and print ads for details.

[stapled]

What sort of thing are you insinuating?!

[lostweight]

I am assuming this was a misfire.

Therefore, I will ignore it.

[lostweight]

But it is very considerate of you to use my mun's icons. It makes me want to like you a little more.

[stapled]

They're nice icons.

But it's difficult for any mere 100x100 dimension to truly encapsulate the variety of emotions I feel at any given moment.

[lostweight]

The solution is simple: stop using them.

[stapled]

That sort of life is too sad! Without my expression, who can tell what I'm even saying?!

[lostweight]

How spoiled of you. Back in my day, we didn't have icons. You had to imagine the faces of the characters conversing. Please deal with it a little while longer. I want to make a point.

[stapled]

Please hurry!! This is creepy! Definitely too creepy!

[lostweight]

Look at that. Even without seeing your image, I know what kind of face you're making already.

[stapled]

Ah, that was the feeling thousands of supporters for dualism cheering...

But if you already know it, then it's fine to show it, right? Once you've imagined something in your mind, it's as good as being shown, so there's no point to continue hiding my face, isn't that correct?

[lostweight]

But once expectations don't match reality, it becomes extremely disappointing.

[stapled]

You've already seen the variety of my faces! Until the movie comes out, there won't be any surprises, so there's no problem!

And what is reality, anyway? Aren't carrying through to the results of your expectation a fundamental part of reality?

[lostweight]

People don't like it when one deliberately changes the subject to avoid the matter at hand. That is, your face.