homeless

[lostweight]

Sexygahara? Who might that be? Is she some sort of vixen? Is she, as luck would have it, a goddess from the heavens sent to a pitiful human who dialed the wrong number and, on a whim, asked for a girlfriend to give him some sense of value and self-respect? Does she look that dirty to you, Mundane-san? Is she a lascivious, promiscuous, otherworldly call girl who answers to your every filthy need?

[ She narrows her eyes and tilts her head. ]

That aside, Mundane-san, I see no reason for you to speak with me at the moment. Your muses are settled, your applications are going well, and you are not sending me to any games. Ah, but I should point this out to you. There is a problem with your speed. There was never a Hitagi Snail, and if people got the story arc titles mixed up because of your terrible roleplaying, that will be troublesome, you know.

... This is merely an exercise to waste some time? I see. I truly feel like twenty-five minutes of my fictional life have been put to good use. In the time I could have used to push the plot along, I spent most of it at a club room talking about absolutely nothing. That's fine. It will make an almost decent light novel. I'll make sure to wipe my ass with it the next time I use the toilet.

Comments

[stapled]

If you continue to slice your mundane up into softly filleted pieces of a sushi at a prestigious six-star sushi bar restaurant located in the nicer place of town, then you could possibly spend an entire anime movie.

[lostweight]

I'll finish the job off in time for the climax. I did it on Iron Chef once.

Aren't you getting a movie yourself soon, Araragi-kun? I must say, I'm jealous.

[stapled]

I would let you play with my inevitable Academy Awards from my talented skills, but I don't know where they've been other than a shady movie market.

[lostweight]

That's a shame. But it's fine. I hear the Academy Awards are all full of money-loving tasteless fools, anyway. If someone were to pay me, I'd have made you win Best Idiot.

[stapled]

Even though I should have expected to hear those sorts of words, it still hurts worse than losing an Oscar to an undeserved no-name actor just breaking into the scene.

Ah. The last part was me.

[lostweight]

Ah. Did you want to kill him?

[thatsthespearit]

Hell, you even talk like a novel! Not that I understood much more than 5% of that, but I'm sure your novels sell well.

You ever thought about taking up lyric-writing?

[lostweight]

How are my novels supposed to sell well when the average person can only understand so much? Although I suppose that's why most awards are given to material we often do not understand. Hmm... It's not that poetry isn't my forte. I just don't hold any interest in it.

[thatsthespearit]

You mean they don't sell? Hmm. It's true that the awards keep going to stuff a lot of us've never heard of.

[Headtilt.]

And that's too bad! You'd probably come up with some fun songs.

[lostweight]

Music is something I'm not very fond of, but I can't turn down a challenge. Tell me, what kind of song would you like hear?

[protectyou]

[ Wow, Hitagi. You are talking a lot and Sophie barely understands any of that. So, she quietly kind of stares at Hitagi for a moment, then her eyes wander off aimlessly. ]

[lostweight]

[ What a peculiar girl. Hitagi takes a few steps forward and leans in to take a closer look at her. ]

My, what do we have here? Have I accidentally stumbled into Akihabara or did I unknowingly travel to another dimension?

Hm.

How moe.

[protectyou]

Aki... habara? I don't know where that is.

[ She gives a head tilt to the side. ]

What's moe?

[lostweight]

If we go by the original definition, moe is finding faults in a character that attract you to them, like your childlike innocence, for example. In this case, I am going by the bastardized, popular definition, which is simply something that the general otaku populace finds cute.

To put it bluntly, you are cute.

[protectyou]

[ Her eyes are just about to start wandering aimlessly again at that first explanation, but oh, she catches the last bits of that. She understands that! ]

Oh. Thank you. [ She smiles. Prepare for a lot of questions. ] And what's an otaku?

[lostweight]

An otaku is a dangerous creature. Take care. No one would want to see you getting taken home.

[unfelt]

Sexygahara sounds like she has lead a rough life. It's rather unkind of you to judge her!

[lostweight]

It's all right, no characters were harmed in the making of her biography. But how kind of you to extend such compassion towards a fictional character.

[unfelt]

Considering we're muses in a roleplaying website. I think expressing compassion for the fictional is alright.

[lostweight]

Hm, touche.

Then forget what I said, and I will make sure she receives your sympathy.

[stresses]

"Sexygahara"? She sounds like quite a thrilling person to know.

[lostweight]

She is not very important. Please forget her quickly, Hanekawa-sama.

[stresses]

If that is your desire, I shall put her out of my mind immediately!

[lostweight]

Hold that thought. It seems as though my mundane has changed her mind.

Regarding Sexygahara's new chapter and place in life, that is.

[stresses]

They're capricious beings, aren't they? These mundanes. However, if you'll simply tell me to what extent you'd like me to occupy my thoughts with Sexygahara, I'll undertake the endeavor with the utmost seriousness.