dear_mun | (no subject)

[ A beat, and the seriousness fades into a look of bewilderment as the rest of that sinks in. ]

Who the hell's Sousuke?

[ You know what it's like to be forgotten?

No, you don't. It's a bitter thought, where once it wouldn't have been. It's bitter because Naruto is sure Ichigo has never had a loved one fail to recognize him as completely as Ichigo once failed to recognize him. It's bitter because he doesn't want any more bullshit.

He's silent until Ichigo is done, almost snorting at the last, barely refraining from it.

Strange that he wants to believe him. Ichigo has that effect on people, and well Naruto knows it. It's why he was drawn to the other young man in the beginning.

But he's not in the habit of repeating his mistakes. ]

You don't forget people. I guess I was just the exception.

[ Just that forgettable. He titls his head, looks almost - nearly - weary for half a second as a jaunty smile passes his lips. ]

Sousuke. Aizen Sousuke. I know you know that name, even if you don't know mine.

What the hell does that mean?

[ The anger comes back in a flash, so strong it carries him forward another step. ]

You're gonna tell me you know me and then you're gonna say shit like that? I don't make exceptions. Never have. Never will.

[ It's a snarl, and he waves a hand at the rest. ]

Yeah. Aizen. I know Aizen. Sent him to Hell after he tried to destroy the world.

[ Three.

Two.

One... ]

Wait, what?!

[ He recoils immediately, blood draining from his face. ]

YOU SAID I DID WHAT?!

Yeah, you do. You did. [ Naruto doesn't back down, doesn't step back, he doesn't have a single reason to. ]

Or are you callin' me a liar now, Kurosaki Ichigo? You sayin' what I saw wasn't real? Gonna tell me that he wasn't you? That I can't tell the difference?

[ Go on, he thinks. Try it. Try it and I'll break your damn nose. ]

Edited 2012-03-01 01:23 (UTC)

[ He waits for it. Waits-

Waits--

And there it is. Familiar almost, like the denial Ichigo would once throw at him. Aizen means nothing. Liar. He was so good at it too.

Naruto stuffs his hands into his pockets, burying the itch to do something else with them. ]

You kissed him. Macked on him. Made out with him. Played tonsil hockey with the guy. Actually, you did it more than once. Seems as though you liked it.

[ He might not be physically hitting anyone here, but he's definitely not pulling any punches. ]

[ Part of him wants to scream at the guy. The other part wants to hit him. So, inexplicably, he starts laughing. Really laughing. He's laughing so hard he has to duck his head and stifle it with his palm.

It's only when the fit has passed and the laughter's died down to a chuckle that he looks up. ]

Yeah. Sure. Okay. Let me guess. Right between threatening to eat me and the two of us trying to kill each other. We just -- [ He snorts. ] What? Was it one of those trashy novels? Threw ourselves at each o-other and --

[ Too late, he loses it again. Laughing. And laughing. ]

[ Until his head snaps up and he lunges forward to make a grab for the guy's shirt. Whether he manages to get a handful of it is irrelevant. What's important is the glare and the low, furious growl underlying his words. ]

Yeah. Maybe I am calling you a liar. Why not? It's what you're doing to me!

For all I know, Kon's running around out there with my body, doing who the fuck knows what with it, and look, here's you. Claiming to know me. Saying shit about me that I'd never fucking do.

I'm a liar? Bullshit. So are you.

[ Naruto holds it in, all through that insulting laughter, he holds it in. Wonders how he could once love the sound that now only brings a hard-to-ignore itch to his palms. And he wonders why he said anything - why he bothered to talk at all - when this person, this Ichigo finds what he suffered through so fucking funny.

He's the only one laughing here.

Well, Naruto supposes, it's good that someone is.

He even holds it in as he's dragged close, because he remembers that violence isn't the way to go, and he's better than that these days. There is another way. There is always another way.

Almost always.

Sometimes. ]

Edited 2012-03-01 01:47 (UTC)

[ And sometimes the only answer is to wrench away, to swing your fist out and hold nothing back. No pulling punches, no attempt to. Why should he, when he's been laughed at? He doesn't. His fist lashes out, forward, a quick snap and strike to Ichigo's face before it's pulled back, just as quickly, and he slips away.

A minor retreat, every single bone in his body is wary, even if his face is almost a mask. ]

You're right. I don't know you. The Kurosaki Ichigo I knew would never laugh at another person's pain.

[ And with that, he's done here. ]

[ He doesn't see it coming. Oh, he knows that getting hit's a possibility, but the ferocity of this catches him by surprise and he doesn't stand a chance against it.

Ichigo's had his nose broken enough times to recognize what that sickening crunch, the blinding flare of pain, and the gush of blood down the back of his throat means. It doesn't prevent him from dropping like a rock to his knees or the grunt of pain. He's only human. He doesn't have his shinigami body to help dampen the pain.

But his head lifts and he looks through eyes narrowed by pain to the one who struck him. ]

Wasn't laughing at your -- [ He has to pause to spit out the blood collecting in his mouth. ] -- pain. Wasn't laughing at that at all.

[ He has never liked seeing Ichigo hurt. People in general, but Ichigo specifically. Whether the pain was physical or emotional, Naruto has never liked it, and he certainly has never taken any satisfaction in it. This hasn't changed. Even if, perhaps, it should. Even if he kind of wishes it had. It would be easier, if he could hate that face, that voice, if he could ignore the effects Ichigo's blood has on him. Seeing it...

It's enough to stall his retreat.

He could walk away from this person. He should. They're done. They were done months ago, he's still clinging onto ghosts by engaging in conversation and he knows it. He's let slip far too much.

But he doesn't like seeing Ichigo in pain, and he especially doesn't like being the cause of it.

Does he believe Ichigo? Not especially. It's an easy thing to say on hindsight, isn't it, and he's been hurt too much in the past. What else could Ichigo be laughing at? The absurdity of it? Except it isn't absurd to Naruto.

This, however, is. It's not the answer, either. He knows better than this. He was taught better than this. ]

I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. [ So he starts with that. His expression might still be wary, but the hand he holds out to help Ichigo up - should he wish to avail of it - is offered with no hesitation.

Does he expect to get punched in return? Yes. At least a little. ]

[ He's expecting him to walk away. When he doesn't, Ichigo just blinks up at him, confused. He'd snort if he knew that it wouldn't hurt. But it would, so he doesn't. Shaking his head hurts too, but it's a hurt he can live with. ]

Life isn't fair.

[ It's muffled, a little nasal, and he lifts a hand toward the proffered one. ]

But neither's being a dick. I was being a dick.

[ Clasping the guy's hand loosely, he gets to his feet and lets go, not wanting to infringe too much on the personal space of someone who's got a problem with him. ]

Just... [ He blinks watery eyes, wishing he was good with kidou, and that he could use it as a human. ] Caught me by surprise's all. Sorry I pissed you off. More'n that, I'm sorry I hurt you.

[ That one, he can't deny. Too often, life isn't fair at all. But neither was that sucker-punch. If he'd wanted a fight, there were better - more just - ways to go about it. ]

Yeah, you were kinda being a dick. [ He's nothing if not honest. The thing is-- ] But then so was I, and you're the one who's got a busted nose 'coz of that.

You can hit back, y'know.

[ He tugs Ichigo to his feet. The young man's grip is loose. Naruto's is not. It's firm, sure, like quiet steel, at least until Ichigo is on his feet and Naruto is sure he hasn't inadvertently given him a minor concussion. He doesn't think he hit him that hard.

He peers at that bloody nose, concern edging in on his expression. ] No. It's not-- [ An abated sentence and Naruto glances away. No point in beating around the bush. Truth is truth after all. ]

You don't know me. It's not your problem. [ He shrugs, because it isn't. ] How's your nose? You got any techniques to fix that?

Can. But I won't. M'not that kinda guy.

[ The guy's strong. Sure in his grip on Ichigo's hand. He knew what he was doing with that punch, and it makes him wonder who he is. What he is. A fighter, that's for sure. ]

Yeah it is. [ His disagreement is immediate. ]

You know me, right? Or you know someone who says they're me. So either something happened to me that made me forget you or someone's fucking with you. Makes it my problem.

[ He makes a noncommittal noise and shrugs. ] It's broken, but it'll heal. Happens about once a month anyway. It's okay.

[ And it is. Broken bones heal. Pain fades. It's what's left that's important. So Ichigo looks at him, really looks at him, and holds out his hand again. ]

Look. If it's my fault, I'll fix it. If it's not, well, I'll fix it anyway. Okay? S'what friends do, right? Those important people. You say I'm one of yours? That makes you one of mine.

No. You're not.

[ It's not right for him unless it's fair. Naruto knows that, and he tries to keep the fondess out of his expression before it gives him away, ducking his head instead, into a nod. Not that kinda guy at all. He never was.

He's not quite expecting Ichigo to disagree with him though. Not on that point at least. He stalls as a result, uncertain. ]

Mn. It's... maybe it wasn't you at all. [ He doesn't want to make this Ichigo's problem, it turns out. Just as he didn't want to make it his problem the last time he forgot. Those old habits, they do die hard.

And he can't hide the tiny smile. ] Once a month, huh. Still a fighter, Ichigo. [ It's not okay. If he can fix it, he would like to try, but he's momentarily distracted by Ichigo's hand. For a breath or three, he just stares at it. ]

You don't even know my name... [ It's not accusatory this time, merely matter of fact, if quiet. This is not Ichigo's problem. It really, really isn't. ] And still tryin' to fix everything. [ Sotto voce, even as he holds out his hand, grips familiar palm, familiar fingers and holds. Shakes. ]

Uzumaki Naruto. [ Ichigo has no reason at all to believe him, but there he goes, believing him. Naruto would be surprised except, how could he be? Clearing his throat, he nods at that nose. ]

Friends don't let friends bleed all over the ground. Lemme take a look at that.

Won't know until we look into it, right?

[ He's not letting it go. Guy's trying to give him an out. He sees that. He just chooses to ignore it. Life's not about taking the outs. Ichigo learned that lesson a long time ago. ]

Heh. [ The tiny huff of amusement makes his nose throb. He doesn't care. ] Like that'll ever change.

[ Smart people don't try to be friendly with the people who've punched them in the face, but Ichigo's never been smart. He goes with his gut, follows his instincts, and those instincts say he can trust this guy, nameless or no. ]

No, but I've got time to learn it, right? [ He doesn't do a lot of handshaking, but he knows how it goes, and his grip is strong and sure despite the way his face aches. ]

Uz-- [ He doesn't even finish repeating it. Why should he? He remembers what Naruto said about friends. ] Naruto. Right. It turns out I'm a bigger dick than I thought I was, I'll get your name tattooed on my hand. Can't forget it then, can I? [ Off the cuff and flippant as it is, he isn't kidding. ]

Sure. [ He steps closer, leaning in slightly as he closes his eyes. ] You know medicine?

Mnngh. You don't like taking hints, huh? [ Naruto pauses. Snorts to himself. ] No, it's not that, you just don't wanna. [ When being subtle doesn't work, being obvious sometimes gets the job done. Even if he knows it won't in this case. Ichigo has about as hard a head as Naruto does. The shinobi scratches his neck idly and shakes his head, feeling that old amusement bleed on through.

He really hopes it never changes. Ichigo's loyalty to his friends, his temper, they're what make him, him. ]

You've got time, yeah. Least-- [ A slight hesitation. No, he's not about to go shoving his way into this person's life. ] That depends on you. [ But he returns that strong grip, appreciates it for what it is. Ichigo, not holding back.

Yes, he missed that. And he's pretty sure Ichigo has to be kidding on the tattoo thing, so there's another snort. ] How about I just get a name tag instead? [ And maybe there's a grin, though it's brief. ] Don't want you stuck with something for the rest of your life.

[ Stings to say that, to Ichigo. Ironic, perhaps. Naruto shakes it off easily. ]

I know some field medic stuff. [ He's only semi aware that he's using a combat term. Sakura is a field medic. A shinobi field medic, so it's the only phrase he knows for it, really. ] Except, I'm not a medic. [ Just a shinobi, with some chakra to spare. ] I can't fix this, but I can help it along. [ He thinks.

And falls silent then, cupping Ichigo's face but barely, letting the soothing glow of chakra suffice his fingers, then Ichigo's flesh. Bones he can't fix like Sakura could, but muscles and capillaries, he has had those things drilled into him. Those, he can work on. ]

[ It's true. He doesn't take hints. Ichigo does what he wants. Always has. Always will. The half-formed smirk curving his mouth is all the answer he thinks he needs.

And he would roll his eyes if he didn't think it might be misunderstood. Because there's hurt here. Real hurt, and he doesn't need zanpakutou to realize it. He hurt this guy, Naruto - see, I still remember - even if he doesn't know how. And everything he says, those little comments that brush his own worth aside or toss the ball back in Ichigo's court, tells him that he's expecting to be abandoned again.

So maybe the handshake is a little firmer than necessary. And maybe Ichigo looks at him a little too intensely. ]

I don't consider it "stuck" when it's people who matter. [ It's a little vehement. He doesn't need to remember anything to know that he's not feeding Naruto a line of bullshit. ] I consider it having some good luck for a change.

[ The explanation of field medic stuff is good enough for Ichigo. ] I know some clinic stuff. Can't do the stuff my dad can, but I can handle the little things. Bandages. Stitches. Heh. I'm pretty good with those.

[ With his eyes closed, he can't see what Naruto's doing. Only feel the warmth of his hand as he just barely touches him. That, and something else. Something that cools the agony and mutes the pain. ]

That feels good. Whatever you're doing... S'nice.

[ Nice enough to lean into it a little further. Nice enough to slit open his eyes and look at his healer. He lifts a hand, touching the side of Naruto's shoulder. ]

Thanks, Naruto. I owe you one. [ A pause as he searches his face. ] More'n one. Think I owe you a lot, one way or another. I'll make it right. Whatever it takes. I promise.

[ And that smirk is all the answer Naruto needs, it speaks for itself, speaks for Ichigo as well as words might. Even so Naruto shakes his head again and purposefully ignores how the shinigami (because that's what he is to Naruto) looks at him.

People who matter. It's rather pointed, isn't it? It pulls Naruto's eyes up as for a moment he meets that gaze head on. ] How do you know I matter? You don't know me.

[ It's not a reprimant, it's simpy blunt, as he often is. No, he doesn't need reassurance here. Someone you've only known for five minutes can't matter that much. At least, not for most people.

Then again, Ichigo has always been different. And Naruto isn't here to push a point. Right now, he's here to fix the mess he's made, blood and otherwise. ] You could do what he does, if you wanted. You've always been smarter than people think. [ Bandages. Stitches. Necessities, Naruto thinks, when you're prone to getting into fights. ] Kinda need to be good with those, huh. You gonna be a doctor someday?

[ He doesn't quite mean to ask it. He's asked it before after all, and he thinks the shinigami - that need to protect - is too deep in Ichigo's bones for him to take up anything resembling a normal human occupation. But then again, who knows? ]

It's not-- Uh. [ It's nothing special, but apparently it feels nice. And here, now, is the urge to withdraw, awkwardly. Especially when Ichigo leans into the contact. Nope. No. This is wrong. Naruto restrains the urge to jerk away. He's not quite finished yet.

He nods dumbly instead and least for a moment. ] You don't owe me anything, trust me. [ They were done months ago. No regrets (mostly) nothing owed and he's heard this promise before. I'll fix it. It only hurts to hear it now. He doesn't want any more promises. Pulls a smile in place and shakes his head. ] I broke your nose, least I can do is help fix it.

[ When he thinks he's done all he can, he lets the charka fade and pulls back with a head tilt. ] You don't look as messed up now, at least. Mn. S'that any better?

[ It's a valid question, and it isn't like he's not used to having people question him. Silent for a second, Ichigo studies him before shrugging a shoulder. ]

Yeah I do. Not much, sure. I know your name. I know we've got some kinda past. But that's surface stuff. It's what's beneath it that's important. I know you're a guy who's not afraid to speak up. I know you're a guy who cares when he doesn't have to. I know you're kind when you don't have to be. [ He says it matter-of-factly, ticking off the points that he's noticed during their argument. ] The rest of it comes later. The little details. But the part about being a good guy? That I know already. That's all I need to know.

[ He's older than he was when he became a shinigami. He's more perceptive. And Naruto's right. He's not stupid. ]

I could, sure. I was going to be. Thought about it. Figured that's what I'd go to school for after high school. [ Another shrug, and there's no disappointment here. No bitterness. ] But that's a normal guy's life. And I'm not a normal guy. So I'm not gonna take a spot in that school that a real doctor could use, you know?

[ The urge to snort is stronger now, a denial of that assertion that he'd chance if he wasn't afraid of undoing all the medic magic Naruto's working on him. He just looks at him, instead. Refusing to back down. ]

That's the biggest 'you owe me' statement of the century. You get that right? Guy says "no man, it's cool," you know you gotta do something to pay him back.

[ Ichigo doesn't move when Naruto pulls back and the last bit of cool numbness fades away. Just chances to twitch his face a little. Doesn't wince when it pulls but doesn't burn. ]

I think I'll live. [ The smile comes easily now that his face isn't a sense-stealing ball of agony. It's a little sheepish. A little apologetic. ] And... Look, are you hungry? I know this noodle place that's pretty good. My treat?

[ It's strange, but the answer he receives from Ichigo is the answer he would be most likely to give if faced with a similar question. There is an odd sense of juxtapose, hearing such a similar outlook spring from someone else's mouth with such solid conviction - or at least, pretty damn close to similar. No, I don't know you, not well at least, but here's what I do know so far and it's good enough for me.

He finds himself staring at Ichigo in the wake of that, mouth open, silent. The little details. Is that what they are?

Clearing his throat, Naruto shakes his head, trying to dispel the oddness. ] Oi. Don't go gettin' ahead of yourself. [ A quiet murmur. Ichigo doesn't know him, and truthfully, Naruto plans on keeping it that way. It's better like this. He really does believe that. He recalls too well the pain he caused Ichigo in return. ]

Yeah. I think I get it. [ He's smiling before he quite realizes it. Not a doctor then, not anymore. Ichigo has a better idea of his path in life now. No more pretending to be normal. That's not him. It was never really him. It's not Naruto's place to be proud, either, but he is all the same. ] Got one hand on that sword, right?

[ He doesn't mean that Ichigo is violent, but rather, that his purpose lies elsewhere, that he has that need to protect, so the words are soft, unobtrusive but shrewd. And he's still smiling.

Even if he's rolling his eyes a moment later and the smile is replaced by something approaching a scowl. ] No, it's not! That's hearing what you wanna hear. You don't owe me means, you don't owe me.

[ Trust Ichigo to feel indebted to the guy who just broke his nose. Naruto huffs out a sigh, although he's paying close attention to Ichigo as the other's face twitches a little. It must hurt. He's no healer, not by a long stretch... But, as Ichigo says, he'll live. Naruto smiles at that. Finds himself returning the smile right up until -- ]

Uh. I-- [ Aw hell, seriously? Noodles? He doesn't even know Naruto and noodles?! That's not fair! Naruto's stomach gives a gurgle just as he's about to (politely) refuse, noodles or not. The shinobi looks briefly embarrassed. ] Noodles. Y'had to say noodles, didn't ya'?

[ Beneath a spiky mess of ridiculously colored hair, brown eyes are watching Naruto's face intently, gauging the nuances of his reaction to Ichigo's words. The staring. The open mouth. The quiet sound of a cleared throat. And the evasion that Ichigo's expecting. The one he's prepared for. ]

Ahead? No. I think I'm close to where I need to be. Just a couple of steps behind.

[ Does he remember telling this guy that he loves him? No. He doesn't remember that at all. But he thinks maybe he can see how he would. There's something there, in all of those little guarded comments, that speaks of hurt and pain and broken things. It's real. It's immediate. It's Naruto, and all the crazy talk and punches aside, Ichigo knows himself well enough to know the kind of people he's drawn to. His nakama. Naruto would fit in well with them. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I do. [ It's his turn to smile, a faint little thing. And he thinks maybe it's him that screwed up after all. Because Naruto's talking about shinigami things, things he wouldn't know if Ichigo hadn't told him. But if he did, well, he's always been good at cleaning up the messes that he makes. ] And this time, I'm not letting anyone take it away from me.

[ There won't be any more mugetsus. Not anymore. Once was enough. He'll find another way from here on out. ]

Sorry, man. Didn't catch that. What'd you say? [ Cheeky, yes, and kind of dickish, definitely. But the point holds. He does hear what he wants to hear. At least when it benefits his friends.

Ichigo doesn't do broad grins often. But that gurgling stomach, and Naruto's response, drags one across his face, broken nose or no. ]

Yeah. Noodles. Why? You like 'em? C'mon. [ He's feeling reckless enough to risk a little nudge in Naruto's direction. ] They're good. Seriously. I eat there all the time. Best noodle place in Japan, and I know my noodles. [ His voice turns wheedling. ] You can eat as much as you want...

[ The frightening thing is that Naruto is almost inclined to agree. Ichigo has a knack for catching up. And it is frightening because what Naruto blurted out, he blurted out in anger, in old bitterness, in wounds that still haven't fully healed, but he never meant to tell Ichigo any of that. Ichigo, or anyone at all, and he sees the other young man watching him now and it's worrying, because he wouldn't be watching as closely as he is, if Naruto hadn't opened his big mouth. ]

No. Pretty sure you're goin' in the wrong direction here. [ Because it implies something Naruto doesn't know how to deal with. We don't walk beside each other anymore, Ichigo. And if Ichigo catches up-- Hell, the fear of that almost makes Naruto turn away for a moment. It almost sets him to walking. ] Better make a turn, sometime soon. [ It's all he'll say on this, not only because he's no good at speaking in riddles anyway but because it's hard to be harsh with Ichigo, especially when he knows the shinigami means well. He always means so damn well. The way he seeks to protect, the way he aims to fix cuts that have nothing to do with him now. He didn't do this, make this mess.

Even so, there is a moment where Naruto can meet his eyes - yes, he's proud of Ichigo, stupid, but there it is and maybe it is even a little obvious. ] I see. Took ya' long enough. S'about time. [ But the statement is merely affectionate, not caustic. Something Naruto attempts to curb half a second later.

Ichigo makes it easy. ] I can say it louder if you want! You don't owe me, damnit! Try listening next time! [ Except he knows Ichigo is messing with him, it's a little obvious and that grin, that heartbreakingly honest grin makes it impossible for Naruto to keep scowling. Makes it impossible for him to smile back. How could he? When he remembers this? When once, that smile was all he'd wanted to see?

He can't do this. No, he shouldn't do this. But Ichigo is being nice, and being himself, and offering noodles and Naruto missed the easiness of this, the camaraderie. He even missed the sound of his voice. All the little things and he knows where this will end. Ichigo going on his way, Naruto watching his back. He can't do this. ] You've never seen how much I can eat. [ A mumble. He can't. He can't.

He never was good at saying no to Ichigo. ] Tch. Fine. Alright, but you're payin'! [ Ichigo already said it would be his treat, but Naruto is aiming to be a brat. ]

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