Adolescence is hard enough without an apocolyps

[knight_of_time]

remind me again why i should be in any way dimensional shape organic or geometric form excited about this shit your answers on a postcard mailed to my address at some dude who gives no fucks p o box im not listening
im not even flattered that youre having oh so much fun letting me out dude frankly i should always be your first fucking choice anyway bro and you know that shit end of story
alright now that thats out of the way park your rump down while i address this like my name is judge judy and your my bert
first of all the pony shit has to stop bro just cause the rest of the striders are hooked on this festering turd stack of soon to be dog food and crazy glue like cutie marks are crack doesnt mean you gotta go getting your research on about it
you get enough strange boners over girly shit that i dont understand as it is bro you need serious help
also wtf is with you planning on having me a fucking wreak over shitty issues i have yet to grasp the handle of as though it were a firm yet plump push ass hold up youre letting dirk influence me too much wtf am i even talking about smuppets for this is my rant damnit
crank the speed up to 88 mph and well go back to the point martie your other amusing little idea of having me bust open a can of shaun of the dead references could be almost doable
yes i do have red on me
yes i am willing to use my vinyl as bad ass weaponry
and sure we can call my hideout the winchester
now stop ruining my image and install the damn game already yo

Comments

[biipolareye2]

tl;dr.

[knight_of_time]

heres the cliff note version
my mun sucks ass

[biipolareye2]

really?
tell me 2omethiing ii don't know.

[knight_of_time]

oh so you know the guy
total fucking douche am i right

[biipolareye2]

yup.
he'2 a total douchebag.

[tipsygnostalgia]

i dare u to seriously call the child line on his ass it would be so fkn funny

[knight_of_time]

dude i have child line on speed dial
seriously
it would only result in an ass whooping from him after though
i cant decided if my rump needs that kind of tanning just yet

[tipsygnostalgia]

what did he do exactly this time
anyway dave dnt try and deny it i bet you love appeljack
*applejack is that the name?
anyways its in ur strider blood or soemthing k

[unavoidabubbly]

hai thar
;3

[knight_of_time]

sup roxy
i havent seen or heard from you for a while
did you K.O somewhere

[unavoidabubbly]

if i did
r u going 2 come gallopign on your hours liek a knit in shining armor
*horse
w/e u can galop on ur hours 2 idc
the point is
y oucan perform a daring recsue on me anyday mistar dave stridar
*wonk* ;)

n e weiz
hwo r u & ur colorful dl;dr
*dilder
u knw what i wont even bother 2 correct dat

[knight_of_time]

sure
why the fuck not
i mean i am a bad ass knight and all not to mention all that time shit so your typo about hours was pretty much legit there
spoiler your cant be K.Od if youre talking to me right now though
also
did you just wonk at me
wow its like im so flattered i might even wonk back yo

my what now
im cool as always other then being throw into a zombie apocalypse that is

[unavoidabubbly]

thats y the question was hypopthepical
its nice 2 knw that ud do the knigyty thing & sweep me awy on ur hourse
swoonswonn
take me 2 ur kingdong o badasse knigthe

r u rly going 2 wonk back @ me
*waits 4 it w fingres steepled*

ur colorfl test
*sest
*sext
jeeeeeez
*TEST
ok i give up
ur red wordz

wat
y r u oging to be in a zonbie popocalipyse

[knight_of_time]

i couldnt just stand by knowing that there was a class a babe vulnerable and intoxicated somewhere what kind of guy would i be if i didnt give two shits and a fuck about your well being rox
i dunno if youd like my kingdom yo youd probably do yourself a mishap on all the radical wires of irony i have littering up the place
keep swooning like that and youll attract all the bitches soon ill be covered in them yo
fine fine but dont go telling anyone
im a coolkid remember coolkids dont to emotes but here ill give you a wonk
;)

that felt so fucking lame

you like my red text well im not surprised reds a passionate colour full to the brim of badassary with a touch of realism
the zombie shit is just some game ive been made to join i didnt even wanna play sburbs i dunno why they insist on me being in this one i guess they needed the lyrical king to bring swag to their ranks

[unavoidabubbly]

oh so u givbe 2 shits + a fuck abt me
i think i liek u moar & MOAR as we talk mistar daaave stridaaaar
oh r u presenting me w a challeneg
well ill have u knw that i am all kinds of expertment on bobby traps esp coded 1s but metaforical 1ns r also rite up my alley
if u knw me weel enough ull know dat those tripwirres r so going 2 be fucked when im done w them
theyre oging 2 go home cryin 2 their mammas abt how some l33t btch haxored the fuck otu of their tripwirey selvs
& then therye going 2 needs some conseling becuz theyll have an existentional crisis beczu of wat i did 2 them
then ull have to employ enw tipwires & givhe them a good hazard pay

ohhhhhhhhh mr strider aaaaahhhhhhohh
faints

ok xept im nto relly fainting or anythign liek that
i just want u 2 knw how special ur wonk is 2 me

so that means ur badass 4 realsies
i liek it
hmmmmm mai munsies is all kindes of interestment
wat gaem is this

[knight_of_time]

of course you should like me more im a strider and not just any old strider
im the young fresh knight with rhymes so tight i keep them coming faster then the speed of light just for your delight
it seems you have foiled my plans of trapping you touche rox touche
and yeah i dont know you half as well as id like to but considering my trip wires are gonna need all kinds of technocouseling makes me kind of nervous about what youd do to me dude

you keep swooning and fainting like that and theyll put a bounty out for my boyish mug with allegations of being a lady killer
thats the first and last time i wonk at someone yo you should probably screen cap and save that shit

its just some shitty musebox game
my muns being a bro about it though and looking for a real home for me dont spose you know anywhere

that gif of dave dancing is awesome *u*

[unavoidabubbly]

i LUVE it when u rap @ me
heheh
;#
*;3!!!11
do u want to knw JSUT what i can do to you
becus im not going 2 back down if ur ofering
snicker

already did daev
ive capped it liek heck & uploaded it on2 a secure servers so that only i can c it
& swono & faint
give me a copy of ur wanted postper
ill sign it w my hawtpink lipstik & draw <3s & keep it as a souvinir
as a remembrence of this hellaciouly osm day

i dnt knw yet
my muns wanting me 2 join a gaem 2 but she wants 2 wait 4 moar screentiem 4 me
but if u ask me
a zombei apopalyspe sounds p sweet
i mean fi my brainz werent goin to be eating that is
just liek in resident evul i want 2 b that badass chick all sprayin bullets & shouting yeeeeeah u want moar ill give u moar
pupupupuaupapupupu
(those are bulelt sound effecst btw)

That's cause Dave IS awesome :3

[knight_of_time]

i was just warming up but if you wanted to witness my sick fires i could probably throw you a private gig
i gotta admit roxy youve aroused the curiosity of my adolescent mind do tell of this your most gratuitous plans

no can do im afraid all my wanted posters will be held in the museum of all things awesome but you can view it for free on weekends

ill be sure to wonk your way if i find a place i think youd like
would be pretty sweet having someone to start up with
as for the shitty zombie deal its yet to kick off im actually just haging at tacobell with dirk waiting for the baking war to end over the egderps household
man fuck a gun nothing beats a sword forget a head shot take that skull clean off the shoulders yo

in roxy's words: TOTES.

[unavoidabubbly]

im all ready 2 b recieving tohse vip tickets mistr stridar
ive aroused u huh
i think
i will b miss zippuierlips so tha t i will maintein ur arousedness
;)

pope
*nop
b4 u knw ti im roguign in2 dat museum
& it will be mine
all mien
evil lauhghter

r u at the combimamtion pizzahut & tacobell
if so i wll join u
cant i join u @ dat zombei game
ur so funny
ill ahve sniped that undeadhead b4 u can even get close 2 it with your swrod
;)

Wow I'm late... fuck :\

[knight_of_time]

i have
the weirdest boner right now

i got to give you credit for your enthusiasm there miss zipperlips
im impressed truly i am yo

dude i wish i was at the combination pizza hut and taco bell
but its more like hobo mut and taco hell
seriously
me and dirk just saw some guy getting his throat ripped out and that was on the fucking street man
this shit is crazy

aw man i wish you could join but i think i saw you there already unless its some kind of ectotwin shit
i might just drag you along with me to where ever my munbro throws me though
youre pretty cool yo

aww, are you better now? :(

[unavoidabubbly]

y is ur noner weird
*boner
as long as its pink long thikc strong i think tahts normal
but i can giveu a checkup if ur interested
puts on nurse cap

tacp hell
srsly who would descrecrate a plate like that
*palce
*place
what kind ov a world is dat wehre not evn tako bell is safe

ohhh mr dave
u can drag me to watever game u wish
heheh
*roughish wonk*

Much! thanks <3

[knight_of_time]

hopy shit youre a nurse too
fucking a
yknow dirk said you have no shame when it comes to hitting on younger men
i have now experienced it first handedly with your offer of second handedly offering to check my junk out
i say why the fuck not yo ive go nothing to worry about in the trouser department but dont blame me if youre blinded in awe of my amazing boner

i know right whats the word coming to when your taco is served up with dead guys instead of large fries

im holding you to that yo
soon as i find a place you had better be all up and ready to come
wow more wonking well shucks youre gonna make me blush

glad to hear it :3

[unavoidabubbly]

yes
all of the sudden
i r a nurze
ill borrow dirks or ur shades so that when u pull down ur pants
i wont go blind 4EVAR when i see ur magnifficent magick penus
also it dids make me feel slightlty skeevy 2 liek flort with all u younger men but i cat help it
*cant
i cant entertain nary a frisky thoughts abt any1 anymoar did dirk tell u that
all the eligibible batchelors r taken like heck
i am so singlement i deffine the word single
u luk @ single in the dictionarry & ull see mai fais
le sign

dead guys dont taste as good as large fries
ewwww

my mun sais dat she & i are like TOTES rrrrreadies u dnt even knw

[knight_of_time]

hold up there is no fucking way youd get your hands on either mine or dirks shades you
you have more luck grabbing our junk then that
and something give me the impression you kinda like being skeevy i bet you feel proud dont you
giving all these younger men ironic and awkward boners

so all the dudes are taken or too young wow rox fuck to be you
shit
i mean sucks you must be rubbing off on me
in a nonsexual way unfortunaly

tell you what ill try and rush my munbro along into finding me a game
kinda dont wanna lose you now i found you man that would suck and blow at the same time

suddenly hilarious 80's and 90's music

[unavoidabubbly]

u knw wat
i just had an mental imag of you dansing 2 cant touch dis
dundundundun dundun dundun
u cant tuch this
alrite stop
stridartime

idk i think mayb im just meatn 2 be a cougre
*cougar
at least i can be a cat
:3

freuedian sliprs
*slipeps
*slippers
w/3
they all mean 1 thing
when u look @ me your think
cue music
when dat gurl walks in w an itty btitty waist & dat round thing in ur face u get srpung!!!

awww daaave ur so sweat
*sweet
<333
wats all this about suckign & blewing huh
moar freudidian slips
snicker

i <3 u OUO

[knight_of_time]

be my wife

[That's all he types for a while after reading her reply. Roxy was proving to be a pretty awesome chick, even if Dave did say so himself.]

ok so hears the deal yo
ill put my freudian slipped on if you get in a cat suit and well see just how sprung my anaconda gets

yea i was saying now that you found me youve got the tough toss up between sucking and blowing
no pun intended with the tossing there but feel free to let your mind boldly take you places no lalonde has gone before yo

uguuu *u*

[unavoidabubbly]

omg did u just proppose
swoooooooooooooooooooon blushblushh
ok i will accept liek RITE NOW
*holds hand out 4 engagment ring*
put it on mai fingar mistr strider
my fingerz is ready

you WANT me 2 were a catsuit all of the sudden
were not on the honeymun yet
slwo donwn boy
except dont
heheheheeh
youre getting all startreak on me now
except kinky startrek
i liek it

So sugoi~!

[knight_of_time]

sure as fuck did yo
i mean you gotta be mad not to want a choice babe like you
youll have to hold out for that ring i dont get my pocket money for another two weeks it blows i know and i hope you realize that im skipping out on buying this months gamebro so i can get you that golden metal band of matrimonial wonder

of course
wear the catsuit now cause you shouldnt really be wearing anything on the honeymoon yo
dude i am light years ahead of startrek you aint seen nothing yet

heehee

[unavoidabubbly]

ur liek going 2 maek me faint or smth w all the compliments youre giving mai hawt self
choice babe
come on wat can i say 2 that except damn straight ur rite ;)
its ok i understand what a sacrifise it is 2 hold out on a gaembro
i will amke sure u r
justly rewarwded
;333

wwo u relly knw what you want
steeeples fingars
wat if i want 2 say
u can keep your shades on
*florty wpnk*