dear_mun | Adolescence is hard enough without an apocolyps

remind me again why i should be in any way dimensional shape organic or geometric form excited about this shit your answers on a postcard mailed to my address at some dude who gives no fucks p o box im not listening
im not even flattered that youre having oh so much fun letting me out dude frankly i should always be your first fucking choice anyway bro and you know that shit end of story
alright now that thats out of the way park your rump down while i address this like my name is judge judy and your my bert
first of all the pony shit has to stop bro just cause the rest of the striders are hooked on this festering turd stack of soon to be dog food and crazy glue like cutie marks are crack doesnt mean you gotta go getting your research on about it
you get enough strange boners over girly shit that i dont understand as it is bro you need serious help
also wtf is with you planning on having me a fucking wreak over shitty issues i have yet to grasp the handle of as though it were a firm yet plump push ass hold up youre letting dirk influence me too much wtf am i even talking about smuppets for this is my rant damnit
crank the speed up to 88 mph and well go back to the point martie your other amusing little idea of having me bust open a can of shaun of the dead references could be almost doable
yes i do have red on me
yes i am willing to use my vinyl as bad ass weaponry
and sure we can call my hideout the winchester
now stop ruining my image and install the damn game already yo

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i was just warming up but if you wanted to witness my sick fires i could probably throw you a private gig
i gotta admit roxy youve aroused the curiosity of my adolescent mind do tell of this your most gratuitous plans

no can do im afraid all my wanted posters will be held in the museum of all things awesome but you can view it for free on weekends

ill be sure to wonk your way if i find a place i think youd like
would be pretty sweet having someone to start up with
as for the shitty zombie deal its yet to kick off im actually just haging at tacobell with dirk waiting for the baking war to end over the egderps household
man fuck a gun nothing beats a sword forget a head shot take that skull clean off the shoulders yo

im all ready 2 b recieving tohse vip tickets mistr stridar
ive aroused u huh
i think
i will b miss zippuierlips so tha t i will maintein ur arousedness
;)

pope
*nop
b4 u knw ti im roguign in2 dat museum
& it will be mine
all mien
evil lauhghter

r u at the combimamtion pizzahut & tacobell
if so i wll join u
cant i join u @ dat zombei game
ur so funny
ill ahve sniped that undeadhead b4 u can even get close 2 it with your swrod
;)

i have
the weirdest boner right now

i got to give you credit for your enthusiasm there miss zipperlips
im impressed truly i am yo

dude i wish i was at the combination pizza hut and taco bell
but its more like hobo mut and taco hell
seriously
me and dirk just saw some guy getting his throat ripped out and that was on the fucking street man
this shit is crazy

aw man i wish you could join but i think i saw you there already unless its some kind of ectotwin shit
i might just drag you along with me to where ever my munbro throws me though
youre pretty cool yo

y is ur noner weird
*boner
as long as its pink long thikc strong i think tahts normal
but i can giveu a checkup if ur interested
puts on nurse cap

tacp hell
srsly who would descrecrate a plate like that
*palce
*place
what kind ov a world is dat wehre not evn tako bell is safe

ohhh mr dave
u can drag me to watever game u wish
heheh
*roughish wonk*

hopy shit youre a nurse too
fucking a
yknow dirk said you have no shame when it comes to hitting on younger men
i have now experienced it first handedly with your offer of second handedly offering to check my junk out
i say why the fuck not yo ive go nothing to worry about in the trouser department but dont blame me if youre blinded in awe of my amazing boner

i know right whats the word coming to when your taco is served up with dead guys instead of large fries

im holding you to that yo
soon as i find a place you had better be all up and ready to come
wow more wonking well shucks youre gonna make me blush

yes
all of the sudden
i r a nurze
ill borrow dirks or ur shades so that when u pull down ur pants
i wont go blind 4EVAR when i see ur magnifficent magick penus
also it dids make me feel slightlty skeevy 2 liek flort with all u younger men but i cat help it
*cant
i cant entertain nary a frisky thoughts abt any1 anymoar did dirk tell u that
all the eligibible batchelors r taken like heck
i am so singlement i deffine the word single
u luk @ single in the dictionarry & ull see mai fais
le sign

dead guys dont taste as good as large fries
ewwww

my mun sais dat she & i are like TOTES rrrrreadies u dnt even knw

hold up there is no fucking way youd get your hands on either mine or dirks shades you
you have more luck grabbing our junk then that
and something give me the impression you kinda like being skeevy i bet you feel proud dont you
giving all these younger men ironic and awkward boners

so all the dudes are taken or too young wow rox fuck to be you
shit
i mean sucks you must be rubbing off on me
in a nonsexual way unfortunaly

tell you what ill try and rush my munbro along into finding me a game
kinda dont wanna lose you now i found you man that would suck and blow at the same time

u knw wat
i just had an mental imag of you dansing 2 cant touch dis
dundundundun dundun dundun
u cant tuch this
alrite stop
stridartime

idk i think mayb im just meatn 2 be a cougre
*cougar
at least i can be a cat
:3

freuedian sliprs
*slipeps
*slippers
w/3
they all mean 1 thing
when u look @ me your think
cue music
when dat gurl walks in w an itty btitty waist & dat round thing in ur face u get srpung!!!

awww daaave ur so sweat
*sweet
<333
wats all this about suckign & blewing huh
moar freudidian slips
snicker

be my wife

[That's all he types for a while after reading her reply. Roxy was proving to be a pretty awesome chick, even if Dave did say so himself.]

ok so hears the deal yo
ill put my freudian slipped on if you get in a cat suit and well see just how sprung my anaconda gets

yea i was saying now that you found me youve got the tough toss up between sucking and blowing
no pun intended with the tossing there but feel free to let your mind boldly take you places no lalonde has gone before yo

omg did u just proppose
swoooooooooooooooooooon blushblushh
ok i will accept liek RITE NOW
*holds hand out 4 engagment ring*
put it on mai fingar mistr strider
my fingerz is ready

you WANT me 2 were a catsuit all of the sudden
were not on the honeymun yet
slwo donwn boy
except dont
heheheheeh
youre getting all startreak on me now
except kinky startrek
i liek it

sure as fuck did yo
i mean you gotta be mad not to want a choice babe like you
youll have to hold out for that ring i dont get my pocket money for another two weeks it blows i know and i hope you realize that im skipping out on buying this months gamebro so i can get you that golden metal band of matrimonial wonder

of course
wear the catsuit now cause you shouldnt really be wearing anything on the honeymoon yo
dude i am light years ahead of startrek you aint seen nothing yet

ur liek going 2 maek me faint or smth w all the compliments youre giving mai hawt self
choice babe
come on wat can i say 2 that except damn straight ur rite ;)
its ok i understand what a sacrifise it is 2 hold out on a gaembro
i will amke sure u r
justly rewarwded
;333

wwo u relly knw what you want
steeeples fingars
wat if i want 2 say
u can keep your shades on
*florty wpnk*

Adolescence is hard enough without an apocolyps

That's cause Dave IS awesome :3

in roxy's words: TOTES.

Wow I'm late... fuck :\

aww, are you better now? :(

Much! thanks <3

glad to hear it :3

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suddenly hilarious 80's and 90's music

i <3 u OUO

uguuu u

So sugoi~!

heehee