Mun is turning him Tenta in the near future. Muse is less than thrilled.

[not_onyourside]

Non! Eet ees not as humorous as you seem to zhink! Eet will not be cute eet will be horrendous.

I'm going to be slimy, disgusting, and will shrivel up eef out of water. Clearly you have not zhought zhis zhrough. How will I walk let alone anyzzing else?

And what about my suits!

[Priorities. He has them.]

Comments

[not_onyourside]

Medic. Zhat ees how.

I like my legs. I use zhem frequently.

[hasstandards]

[Ugh. Medic. He shakes his head.]

It's ridiculous, mate. Stuff like that isn't real. I mean, you're not gonna... hn.

[Of course, considering the fact the Medigun exists at all, as well as the bodiless Spy that was in his fridge for a while, Sniper might want to rethink his words.]

[not_onyourside]

Apparently zhat does not stop him.

I wonder why he would want to. What ees zhe point? Ozzer zhan eet hurting.

[hasstandards]

Have you done anything to him? Or is he just a bloody lunatic?

[not_onyourside]

I have not even talked to zhe man! I just happened to be zhe one awake and walking around at two een zhe morning for him to catch.

I am going to have to live een a bazhtub.

[hasstandards]

You're gonna be fine, mate. You're not gonna live in a bathtub.

[not_onyourside]

But ozzerwise I will dry out. Eet sounds like eet will hurt.

[hasstandards]

You're not gonna live in a bathtub because you're not going to be half octopus. That's ludicrous, even for the mundanes.

[not_onyourside]

Zhen why are zhere already pictures of eet?

[hasstandards]

I don't know. Maybe your mundane has gone troppo.

[not_onyourside]

Perhaps. But zhat does not make eet any easier to talk her out of zhis.

Apparently I will be able to change colors too.

[hasstandards]

So you can what, blend in better? I think that watch of yours does that well enough for you.

[not_onyourside]

I do not zhink eet will work on tentacles.

Non. To match my mood apparently. Anozzer zhing zhat she zhinks ees cute.

[hasstandards]

[Eugh. That word.]

S'not gonna happen, mate. And even if it did, we'd find some way to manage.

[Yes, we.]

[not_onyourside]

[Yes. Lots of THAT WORD.]

Were you planning on carrying me eent battle? Because I have no idea how I am supposed to do any of my work as an octopus. Unless zhe labourer built me a little cart to ride een.

[hasstandards]

I can't carry you into a fight, mate. What am I supposed to do, shoot with you wrapped around me like some kind of bloody snake?

[not_onyourside]

I do not know! What am I supposed to do een a battle wez tentacles?

[hasstandards]

Drag BLUs into the water and let 'em drown?

[not_onyourside]

At Double Cross? I will drag zhem eento puddles.

[hasstandards]

Well, maybe Truckie can build ya something. Or there are other bases.

[Not that he considers that an option.]

[not_onyourside]

Zhere are bases een zhe water?

[hasstandards]

There are a few bases with sewers. Teufort had one.

[not_onyourside]

A sewer.

Me. Een a sewer.

[hasstandards]

They've got water in them. Loads of it.

[not_onyourside]

Eets a sewer! Eets disgusting and filzhy and I am not living een one!