voice testing an old voice...

[thecopper]

Right. So. Let me get this straight.

You haven't had three words to say to me in two years and you spend a day wearing a wig that mildly resembles my hair and all of the sudden we're best mates again? Just like that, yeah?

Okay, I know how you are so here's the deal. No horror and monsters, nothing creepy that is going to mess with my head and absolutely no bloody sex islands, all right? I really mean that last one.

You follow those rules and I'll think about us being mates again.

Comments

[doctorweevil]

First of all, that's fucking creepy. The bit about the wig, that is - though it could be worse, it could be a wig made from your hair.

And what's this about a sex island? Because, quite honestly, if it does what it says on the tin, that's absolutely brilliant.

Though I suppose it depends on who's on the island.

[thecopper]

If Rhys is on the island I might have a go. But otherwise it's not happening. I'm sure you'd love the idea but I've been to one before and there's a reason it didn't take.

Also, I'm going to just pretend like you didn't make the thing about the hair even creepier than it already is.

[doctorweevil]

I'm not sure the words 'Rhys' and 'sex island' really go together. Mostly because then I'd have to think about Rhys naked and, really, Gwen, I don't know how you can stand it.

[Yes, Owen, you totally have room to talk.]

This is all going to turn out like one of those bad made for TV movies where she becomes obsessed with you, kidnaps you, and takes over your life.

[jackedthename]

....Did I hear the words 'sex island' in there?

[thecopper]

Oh, Owen, just stop it. I'll have you know, Rhys is all I need and more.

[Also she's going to slap you if you keep going.]

And she can have my bloody life. Don't see her lasting three minutes with you lot.

[thecopper]

Of course, you'd zero in on the most important part of my message.

[doctorweevil]

[Owen's just going to drop it because he really doesn't want to think about Gwen and Rhys's sex life due to potentially scarring mental images.]

You say that now, but just wait till you're tied up in a closet somewhere and your imposter's shagging Rhys and nobody even knows the difference.

[jackedthename]

Sex islands can be extremely important.

....How are you, though?

[thecopper]

I'm all right, Jack. Feels like it's been ages. How're you?

[thecopper]

You can't be serious.

Besides, she says she totally doesn't fancy Rhys. Well, mostly. But I'm not overly concerned.

[bitunlikely]

Gwen!

Hullo!

[thecopper]

Oh, fancy seeing you here.

How are you, Jenny?

[therant]

Well that's just not right. The wig.

[thecopper]

Well. It wasn't awful.

[jackedthename]

Alright enough. Somewhere with Ianto and Martha, so that's nice, but it's odd not having all the rest of you lot around.

[thecopper]

Yeah, that's not much of the team at all. I take it you're not on a sex island, yeah?

[bitunlikely]

Bored. Would you believe she hasn't let me go on any adventures in... oh, just about forever! It's not fair, Gwen.

[jackedthename]

No, a sort of Victorian place with a lot of mist.

[likesavantgarde]

The sex island was.. okay, it was bad.

Hello, Gwen.

[thecopper]

Sounds charming. Let me guess; something creepy moving around in that mist of yours?

[thecopper]

Mines the bloody same. Thinks I'm more than happy being cooped up in her brain space doing nothing until I fade into existence. Some friend!

[thecopper]

Hello, Ianto.

And yeah, okay, it wasn't too bad. [Especially that part where they shagged.]

[bitunlikely]

Isn't it just awful? And I can't run. I think that's the worst bit of all of this. There's just no space to run!

[thecopper]

It is really cramped in here. Can't say I'm a fan.

[bitunlikely]

It's worse for me! She's added two new people since she's abandoned me. Two!

[thecopper]

Mine's added a couple, too. One's another cop.

And an American.

[bitunlikely]

What's so wrong with being American?

[archivist]

At least she didn't do an unflattering portrayal of your wedding day.

[Sorry Gwen. The bride should be beautiful, blah blah blah but seriously... you were full of freaky alien babies. Also. Maybe your mun SHOULD cosplay that. For sick and twisted LOLs...]

[thecopper]

Please, Ianto. You're giving her ideas.

[Full of freaky alien babies and still beautiful tyvm. And yeah, her mun should. She really, really should.]

[archivist]

Always happy to help.

[Obnoxious smile goes here. ...And she should omgplz.]

[thecopper]

Perhaps you want to be the one to help her pick out a dress, because I'm not helping.

[Yeah, wedding fairy]

[archivist]

You did say I had good taste, so there's that.

[thecopper]

You do. It was a lovely dress. Shame about the alien blood stains.

[ambitious_woman]

Two years? I once suffered a similar condition.

\o/

[thecopper]

How'd you go about handling it, then?

[ambitious_woman]

I continued to demand the attention I desired.

[thecopper]

Honestly, I'd be just fine if she left me alone. But she's bloody persistent.

[thecopper]

Well, nothing specifically. Aside from the bloody awful accent.

[ambitious_woman]

You would prefer to remain in the shadows, mute and unseen?

[archivist]

Shame no one remembers it. I suppose we can have Tosh edit the pictures to remove all that blood though.

[thecopper]

Oh, I don't know, I thought it added a bit of color.

[thecopper]

Wouldn't mind so much, depending on where she's thinking of sending me.

[ambitious_woman]

It is not a matter I would leave to chance.