She's oddly loud for a joke-based AU muse.

[captain_cleavage]

Hm. Are you sure you couldn't have thought of a different username for me? This one seems a little...undignified.

[But it's accurate!]

...well. I suppose I can't argue that.

At any rate, your headspace is certainly one of the more interesting places I've been in my life, not in the least because it's one of the few places where I can talk to myself and not be considered crazy. Granted, I'm talking to a male version of myself, but my point still stands.

It's strange, too, to meet people here that I think I know but who turn out to be different than I expect. [Pause.] Well, Pascal seems to be the same as ever. This Hubert of yours, though...heh. Textbook case of nature vs. nurture if I've ever seen one. But some things never change, apparently.

[You were teasing him, weren't you.]



Nothing too bad, I assure you. Just testing the waters, that's all.

["Testing the waters" does not mean "splashing your hand around wildly, thereby sending water flying everywhere".]

You would accuse me of such lewd activities with a minor? I thought you knew me better than that.

[wait, wat

...

...

...

n-no, that's not

what I

meant...






soooooob]


((OOC: Couple of short notes on Malikah and her 'verse here and some fake "skits" here for anyone who's curious about this version of everyone's favorite troll captain.))

Comments

[calamityrondo]

Looks like someone's joke got a bit carried away...

[captain_cleavage]

Perhaps. But at least I'm always serious about my own jokes. [She sighs sadly and shakes her head.] Really, after all that my mun's done for me, I'm shocked she would accuse me of such distasteful activities.

[calamityrondo]

It's not like you can help it. I've had more than a few young ladies try and convince me their birthdays were coming up...

[ It's hard having this much swag. ]

[captain_cleavage]

Oh, yes, I understand that perfectly well. Let's not even talk about the love letters I got from students at the Knight Academy. [And sometimes from teachers too.] I won't lie -- I've wondered before if I should have sought a different occupation than teaching. It wouldn't have entirely fixed the problem, but it might have made it a little less...intense.

[Once again: serious adults discussing serious things.]

[calamityrondo]

There's more money in that business, certainly, but then we wouldn't get the nice uniforms. [ It's all about the pink shirts, dontchaknow. ]

[castbytheglyph]

'Course I'm the same as ever Captain! Unless I got swept up into some crazy part of my mun's headspace and- Hey, waaait a minute.

[There is something amiss here. A disturbance in the balance.]

There's something different about you Cap'n... [BUT WHAT.]

[captain_cleavage]

You don't say? I haven't noticed anything different.

[castbytheglyph]

Really? Huh, I'm pretty sure it's a big difference. Aw bananas it's on the tip of my tongue.

[... Ahah! She's got it!] You got your hair done differently, right?

[captain_cleavage]

...I see you've figured it out. As observant as always, Pascal. [Nodnod.] Yes. I've recently switched to a different brand of hair gel, one that will keep my wayward locks in place better than my old brand. The change is subtle, to be sure, but effective.

[castbytheglyph]

Thought so. I can tell, you look like a whole new you with that change in gel! [...] And the chest upgrade you got looks great too, those things look realer than real!

[Though she has to wonder how and why Malik acquired boobs. Clearly it is just another part of his deep and mysterious being.

Yes.

His.]

[flowerling]

Hubert's different?

[captain_cleavage]

The one in my mun's headspace is, yes. He's not from Ephinea.

[flowerling]

What's a headspace?

[captain_cleavage]

To be honest? I don't know. It's a space inside someone's head, to be sure, and there are people who reside in that space. But I couldn't tell you more beyond that. [She's baffled as to how there could be a male version of herself both in her own mun's headspace and in another mun's headspace. This stuff is weird.]

[flowerling]

There are people in my head?

[detonationbloom]

Just what are you-- Wait a moment. C-Captain...?

[ Woah. ]

[captain_cleavage]

[Eyeing him curiously.] Hmm? You seem surprised, Hubert. What's the problem?

[Pffft. She knows (or can guess) perfectly well what the problem is. She just wants to troll.]

[detonationbloom]

Of course I'd be surprised! What is the meaning of this?! Why are you a-- a woman?!

[ THIS ISN'T HOW REALITY WORKS. ]

[captain_cleavage]

Hm? I've always been a woman. [From her viewpoint, it's technically true.] Are you telling me you didn't notice until now? Perhaps you need a new prescription for those glasses of yours.

[detonationbloom]

Don't be ridiculous! You know that's not true! I think I would have noticed by now if you'd been a woman this entire time!

[ashockingtwist]

[Kurt's mun had exceptionally bad timing and was away when this entry went up, but now, as per request, he's forced to reply. ... A month later. As if he wasn't already embarrassed about that, the fact that this Malik is female isn't helping.

If anything, it's distracting. He needs to try very hard not to stare at that cleavage.]

... Malik?

[captain_cleavage]

...Malikah.

[She's getting used to meeting people from her counterpart's world. In some ways it's not that big a difference, since as far as she can tell there's quite a lot of things that remain the same. But it's jarring enough that even with so many people she recognizes, it makes her feel a bit lonely. And that's even more pronounced with meeting her old friend and realizing that he's not the one she knows. On the whole, though, Malikah's thankful for this. Meeting Kurt again is a chance that she had no reason to suspect she would ever get again after he died.]

Fancy meeting you here, Kurt.

[And don't think she doesn't notice you trying not to stare at her chest. She's rather familiar with that look from her Kurt as well.]

[ashockingtwist]

[Who would've thought a female version of Malik would have such large breasts? Not Kurt. He would never consider such useless notions.]

I... [Loud clearing of the throat.] I could say the same to you.

[captain_cleavage]

[If a man speaks with his back, a woman speaks with her breasts. Obviously.]

I don't suppose Lorelia's around these parts, as well? [Perhaps a long shot, but if Malikah's able to meet Kurt here, then Lorelia's a possibility as well.]

[ashockingtwist]

[He falls silent at that for a moment. Wouldn't that be something? All three of them together again... Malik is a woman, but in essence still the same person. And haven't they both changed in these years, regardless?]

... If she is, I've yet to meet her.