She's oddly loud for a joke-based AU muse.

[captain_cleavage]

Hm. Are you sure you couldn't have thought of a different username for me? This one seems a little...undignified.

[But it's accurate!]

...well. I suppose I can't argue that.

At any rate, your headspace is certainly one of the more interesting places I've been in my life, not in the least because it's one of the few places where I can talk to myself and not be considered crazy. Granted, I'm talking to a male version of myself, but my point still stands.

It's strange, too, to meet people here that I think I know but who turn out to be different than I expect. [Pause.] Well, Pascal seems to be the same as ever. This Hubert of yours, though...heh. Textbook case of nature vs. nurture if I've ever seen one. But some things never change, apparently.

[You were teasing him, weren't you.]



Nothing too bad, I assure you. Just testing the waters, that's all.

["Testing the waters" does not mean "splashing your hand around wildly, thereby sending water flying everywhere".]

You would accuse me of such lewd activities with a minor? I thought you knew me better than that.

[wait, wat

...

...

...

n-no, that's not

what I

meant...






soooooob]


((OOC: Couple of short notes on Malikah and her 'verse here and some fake "skits" here for anyone who's curious about this version of everyone's favorite troll captain.))

Comments

[captain_cleavage]

Oh, yes, I understand that perfectly well. Let's not even talk about the love letters I got from students at the Knight Academy. [And sometimes from teachers too.] I won't lie -- I've wondered before if I should have sought a different occupation than teaching. It wouldn't have entirely fixed the problem, but it might have made it a little less...intense.

[Once again: serious adults discussing serious things.]

[calamityrondo]

There's more money in that business, certainly, but then we wouldn't get the nice uniforms. [ It's all about the pink shirts, dontchaknow. ]

[captain_cleavage]

Ah, the uniforms. I'm thankful that they afford me the luxury to think about one less thing every time I get up in the morning. [Very helpful when you spend a little too much time at the bar the night before.] Not that I technically need them now, what with being honorably discharged from His Majesty's Service and all. But as long as he doesn't get on my case about it...

[Which might actually be possible, were Richard feeling a little mischievous.]

[calamityrondo]

King Richard doesn't seem to be in too much of a hurry of that, thankfully. I think we're probably better off, too-- I'm sure you've seen his new look. [ Nope, never letting that go. ] That shade of green just isn't our color.

[captain_cleavage]

Of course not. We're Fendelians, children of the wintry wasteland. We didn't even know the color green existed until we left the country.

[Seriously, does Fendel get any semblance of spring or summer?]

[calamityrondo]

Quite right. Barona and all its green has never sat well for me. It's not as bad as Strahta, but...

[ Fendel is the hinterlands their idea of summer is probably icy rain instead of snow. ]

[captain_cleavage]

[They went skinny-dipping in the partially-melted Sea of Ice and they liked it, dammit!]

Well, you'll have to get used to that green if you'll be going to Luceti. The entire village is surrounded by trees in all directions.

[calamityrondo]

[ It's not a beach unless the water is freezing, yup. ]

Oh, is that so? Well, I did spend good twenty years in Windor; shouldn't take too long to get used to.

[captain_cleavage]

It's less like Barona and more like, hmm...perhaps Gralesyde. But if it ever becomes too much, I've heard that the alcohol is both copious and free over there. [Gurlfran so jelly.]

[calamityrondo]

Free alcohol? How do they even find time to do anything else?

[ Not that he'd spend all his time drinking, mind you... ]

[captain_cleavage]

[Of course not. He'd be the one ensuring that the other villagers were drinking.]

Well, with no real need to find a job, and the drafts being infrequent, there's quite a bit of downtime to fill up with other pursuits.

[She may or may not have added innuendo to that last word.]

[calamityrondo]

Free alcohol, easy living... I'd fill my time with other pursuits as well.

[ Malik, you are not allowed to have sex just to pass the time, that's-- well, I mean I guess if you can find yourself a lady that's fine......... ]

[captain_cleavage]

[Alas, a fair amount of eligible ladies in Luceti are drastically out of his acceptable age bracket (a.k.a. they're jailbait). He might have to consider..."branching out" if he wants any action.]

And when you consider that there's no real laws or authority in the village, it's really a wonder that Luceti isn't a hive of debauchery and crime. [Laugh.] Though since people who die in Luceti just come back within a week, there's not too much point in trying to off someone. And stealing is pointless because everything is already free.

[calamityrondo]

[ That's always a good option, too. Malik is far too manly to worry about dumb things like homophobia. ]

It certainly sounds idyllic, I must admit. Even death isn't permanent, huh? That sounds almost too good to be true. [ And... sad. Because dead friends :c ]

[captain_cleavage]

It is. [And now she's entirely serious.] Every time you die, you lose something in the process of being resurrected. Could be memories, a sense, a power or special ability -- anything of that sort. Granted, you're able to have such "death penalties" removed, but I'm given to understand that you'll have to put up with your penalty for at least four months. And depending on what that penalty is...it could be a very long four months.

[calamityrondo]

Ah. Four months blind, or four months without my memories, huh...? [ Oh god that would be amazing can you imagine four months of guiltless Malik it would be terrifying and heartbreaking. ] Doesn't sound worth it.

I'd say there's a thing or two to be learned from death. Penalizing it like that seems a bit cruel, don you think?

[captain_cleavage]

[ahahahahaha you know you have to do that now, right? right?]

Maybe. But I imagine such a consequence would, in general, keep people from abusing the cyclical nature of Luceti's world. And one could still die a very, very painful death.

[calamityrondo]

[ Yup. Malik's death has been foreordained. ]

That's certainly true. I don't think I care much for something that grim, but then again, Luceti isn't that dangerous, is it?

[captain_cleavage]

Not when compared to other worlds I've heard about. There's a young man in my mun's headspace who lived in a tower full of monsters and dangerous floors for almost two months this summer. As well, he also apparently had the misfortune of being brought to the tower in the middle of both a power outage and a drastic drop in the food supply.

[calamityrondo]

Yes, that sounds more like the kind of place my mun used to send people to. She's toned down the misery lately. I'm pretty lucky, as far as things go.

[ You're lucky you're not in a city of sin or anything, Malik. ]

I think I'll take my chances with wings and lush forests.

[captain_cleavage]

[Now I'm imagining Malik in a game like Zodion or Amatomnes...]

And Asbel and the others are in Luceti as well, so you won't be alone. Though that can be a double-edged sword.

[Depends on whether you'd prefer being surrounded by familiar people or if you'd rather they be back where they're supposed to be.]

[calamityrondo]

[ Pretty much. Not sure if he'd enjoy it or not... ]

They've been there a while, haven't they? Sounds like they're the ones who are going to have to teach me a thing or two.

[captain_cleavage]

[I suppose it would depend on whoever he ended up shacking with.]

Well, after all this time spent teaching them, it's about time they returned the favor. Hopefully they'll be merciful with an old geezer like you. [Because Malik is obviously such a delicate flower.]

[calamityrondo]

[ Not enough kids to troll, but then again... ]

I certainly hope so. These old joints can't take much more.

[ Oh shut up, you're doing fine, you probably grew up dragging firewood through the snow. ]

[captain_cleavage]

[Barefoot, even. And no gloves. AND HE LIKED IT LIKE THAT.]

In a way, Luceti wouldn't be too bad of a place to retire to. Perhaps you could even get your own rocking chair.