canon is oglaf. it's not safe for work.

[theslut]

Magical coma is pretty much the same thing as dead, and you should leave the dead alone.

Comments

oh my god mistress /HOLDS CLOSELY

[theslut]

[oh shit.]

Haven't you replaced me by now? Surely there are other brilliant apprentices out there looking to learn.

/NEVER LETS YOU GO

[themistress]

Whether we replaced you isn't the point. You were supposed to die, and you somehow managed to weasel your way out of it. I'm sure you know my feelings regarding your failure to complete tasks.

/QUIETLY ESCAPES TO GO TO CLASS (but will definitely be back!!)

[theslut]

But it was out of my hands! All the chains and the arrow and --

You can't expect me to do all the work in my murder. That'd be suicide, which is completely different.

/EAGERLY AWAITS YOUR RETURN

[themistress]

Of course I don't expect you to do all of the work in your murder, Ivan. I simply expected you to do the dying part. "Falling into a magical sleep" isn't the same thing at all, and I don't find it acceptable.

/SLAMS BACK IN HERE

[theslut]

Does this mean you're going to try and kill me again? Because I didn't mean to complain about the magical coma -- I much prefer it to death.

/handcuffs you to the radiator

[themistress]

I haven't quite decided yet, honestly. There'd be something satisfying in killing you, I admit. Then again, I might just have you dissected -- alive -- to see how you managed to stay alive at all.

so kinky~

[theslut]

Or! Or we could not do those.

What about my regular duties? This is really a blessing, isn't it? No need to go hunting for a new apprentice when you've got me.

[themistress]

Mmn, but you've taken so little away from my lessons.

[theslut]

But -- I haven't learned any magic.

[themistress]

How can I teach you magic when you don't even know better than not to kill people with magic arrows?

[theslut]

It was not well marked. There should be warnings, maybe a locked case.

[themistress]

So you want the construction team to make special cases for rubbish tributes, rather than you just learning to not touch things unless you know what they do?

[theslut]

Yes! That sounds like an absolutely brilliant plan.

[themistress]

Or... we could just tie you to a pole and let the construction team give you their opinion on that idea.

[theslut]

[ He's definitely not panicking, but it's time for grade A bullshitting. ] Sounds dangerous. I-it's one thing to provide a good work environment, but -- but the construction team should still know just where all the power lies!

Don't want them getting ideas.

[themistress]

Hmmn, I suppose you have a point. I'll have to set them to making boxes, just to keep them busy. [That was what she got out his bullshitting. That the construction team needs to stay busy.]

Besides, I imagine that it's really the guards who'd want first crack at you anyway, dear Apprentice.