voice testing this sulky jerk

[smilederek]

Just so we're entirely clear on this: You do not need an icon of me rolling around on the floor shirtless, and no I do not do it all the time.

And just for the record? There is a difference between undergoing involuntary bodily spasms due to being electrocuted and "rolling around".

Comments

[rainfading]

Well, how often do you get electrocuted?

[smilederek]

Twice.

[Pause]

But I only fell down the first time.

[rainfading]

Wow, you really object to the thought of "rolling around on the floor", don't you.

[smilederek]

It's just not a situation I want her to try and replicate here.

[rainfading]

I was gonna say, they usually only upload icons with a plan in mind. I speak from experience on that one.

I would be more concerned with what that plan might be! Pick your battles, you know. Don't get electrocuted again, man, or at least find whoever's so taser-happy in your vicinity and preemptively punch them.

[smilederek]

What did yours do to you?

And believe me, I don't start anything I can't finish. The person who did that to me isn't a problem any longer.

[rainfading]

These people. Also this guy, eventually, but comparatively he's like a kitten wrapped in rainbows.

Sounds messy. For them, mostly.

[smilederek]

Ah. I know that type. And she set them on you deliberately?

It would have been a lot messier with her still around.

[rainfading]

She devised my whole universe around them.

One of the aforementioned type, or something else?

[smilederek]

...And whose side is your world-builder actually on?

[His skin is legit crawling at the thought of a world invented specifically for the sake of hunters.]

One of that type. The worst of that type.

[rainfading]

Everybody's always on their own side. But she also has this massively pretentious colonialism metaphor happening there, so it has to be large-scale. They don't have a black market for supernatural parts in your world, right? I'm really hoping that's not a common thing, too.

She and de Grieu can party down in hell once I figure out how you kill an Immortal, then.

[smilederek]

No black market. Not as far as I know, at least.

[And now he's mulling over that 'how to kill an immortal' question.]

Do you know what he is? Some kind of creature, or just a human that doesn't die when it should?

[rainfading]

Ostensibly human, according to him. He regenerates. Slowly, depending on what kind of damage he incurs, but--every damn time. Guy's some kind of relic from the Inquisition, so he's picked up a lot of tricks.

Also he is the mouthiest motherfucker in the world, Jesus H, I thought I was bad.

[smilederek]

Have you tried cutting him in half?

[MISTER HELPFUL, RIGHT HERE.]

And you're not bad. I've experienced bad, and you are not it.

[rainfading]

...not yet. Um, horizontally or vertically?

Thanks, but you don't know me that well. Then again, you don't strike me as the type to get on my bad side, so it's moot.

[smilederek]

Horizontally. Or whichever way's easiest, really.

You don't know me that well either. I could be on my way to your bad side as we speak...

[rainfading]

My usual discreet methods aren't really working so well, so I'm game for a little innovation.

I don't know, you'd really have to work on that one. I'm notoriously unpredictable; you can never tell what's going to set me off.

[smilederek]

Even in the worst case scenario, where it doesn't kill him? You still get to cut your enemy in half and do what's right for your survival.

So every conversation with you is trial and error? It sounds like you keep things interesting.

[rainfading]

That is some old-school ninja shit you're talking right there, but I get it; I am all about survival. People like us can't afford not to be.

Witches like to keep 'em guessing. But I can play nice with you, if you really want.

[smilederek]

I'm just saying, sometimes the only way to be certain that something is dead is to cut it in half. Might as well enjoy doing it if you can.

[He hears a lot of excuses for why not to kill various people in gross ways, so, yeah, he's kind of automatically justifying his advice here.]

I'm not a huge fan of being played with at all, but I might make an exception for you. So you're a witch?

[rainfading]

You sound like that's about Tuesday night for you.

You should; I'm a lot more fun about it than other people. And yes, although I'm a little more 'useful telekinesis' than 'Samantha from Bewitched'. You're a werewolf, right? I've never met one before.

[smilederek]

Not exactly. I've seen it done to others though, and it's a technique I think could be nicely applied against certain hunters...

Are you now? That's a pretty bold claim to be making.

And you're right. Apparently it's more obvious to other supernaturals than I realized.

[rainfading]

Now how many of these bastards do you have over there? You need to do a full-on cleansing, sounds like.

Oh, you can ask most anybody. Except in Dubrovnik or most of Macedonia, they're still bitter about those paintings.

Werewolves are pretty rare, these days, at least where Cher and I come from--the pixie who's charming you right now. It's difficult not to notice.

[smilederek]

There's a family of them living locally. Every time one dies, they have a reunion and call in the troops.

I think I'd rather see for myself.

[And... well, okay, that's kind of interesting.] These days? We used to be more common, where you're from?

[rainfading]

Charming.

I think I'd rather you did, too, as a matter of fact.

...yeah, ah. The black market I mentioned. Werewolves are the most popular thing for humans to want to try to become--they pay good money for hearts, even bits of the soul, to put in themselves for a lark, or soldiers in private armies. I'm sure you know the tactical advantages. Trouble is, it doesn't always take. A human doesn't know how to handle the strength, the aggression, and even if it works, it kills them eventually.