voice testing this sulky jerk

[smilederek]

Just so we're entirely clear on this: You do not need an icon of me rolling around on the floor shirtless, and no I do not do it all the time.

And just for the record? There is a difference between undergoing involuntary bodily spasms due to being electrocuted and "rolling around".

Comments

[smilederek]

No black market. Not as far as I know, at least.

[And now he's mulling over that 'how to kill an immortal' question.]

Do you know what he is? Some kind of creature, or just a human that doesn't die when it should?

[rainfading]

Ostensibly human, according to him. He regenerates. Slowly, depending on what kind of damage he incurs, but--every damn time. Guy's some kind of relic from the Inquisition, so he's picked up a lot of tricks.

Also he is the mouthiest motherfucker in the world, Jesus H, I thought I was bad.

[smilederek]

Have you tried cutting him in half?

[MISTER HELPFUL, RIGHT HERE.]

And you're not bad. I've experienced bad, and you are not it.

[rainfading]

...not yet. Um, horizontally or vertically?

Thanks, but you don't know me that well. Then again, you don't strike me as the type to get on my bad side, so it's moot.

[smilederek]

Horizontally. Or whichever way's easiest, really.

You don't know me that well either. I could be on my way to your bad side as we speak...

[rainfading]

My usual discreet methods aren't really working so well, so I'm game for a little innovation.

I don't know, you'd really have to work on that one. I'm notoriously unpredictable; you can never tell what's going to set me off.

[smilederek]

Even in the worst case scenario, where it doesn't kill him? You still get to cut your enemy in half and do what's right for your survival.

So every conversation with you is trial and error? It sounds like you keep things interesting.

[rainfading]

That is some old-school ninja shit you're talking right there, but I get it; I am all about survival. People like us can't afford not to be.

Witches like to keep 'em guessing. But I can play nice with you, if you really want.

[smilederek]

I'm just saying, sometimes the only way to be certain that something is dead is to cut it in half. Might as well enjoy doing it if you can.

[He hears a lot of excuses for why not to kill various people in gross ways, so, yeah, he's kind of automatically justifying his advice here.]

I'm not a huge fan of being played with at all, but I might make an exception for you. So you're a witch?

[rainfading]

You sound like that's about Tuesday night for you.

You should; I'm a lot more fun about it than other people. And yes, although I'm a little more 'useful telekinesis' than 'Samantha from Bewitched'. You're a werewolf, right? I've never met one before.

[smilederek]

Not exactly. I've seen it done to others though, and it's a technique I think could be nicely applied against certain hunters...

Are you now? That's a pretty bold claim to be making.

And you're right. Apparently it's more obvious to other supernaturals than I realized.

[rainfading]

Now how many of these bastards do you have over there? You need to do a full-on cleansing, sounds like.

Oh, you can ask most anybody. Except in Dubrovnik or most of Macedonia, they're still bitter about those paintings.

Werewolves are pretty rare, these days, at least where Cher and I come from--the pixie who's charming you right now. It's difficult not to notice.

[smilederek]

There's a family of them living locally. Every time one dies, they have a reunion and call in the troops.

I think I'd rather see for myself.

[And... well, okay, that's kind of interesting.] These days? We used to be more common, where you're from?

[rainfading]

Charming.

I think I'd rather you did, too, as a matter of fact.

...yeah, ah. The black market I mentioned. Werewolves are the most popular thing for humans to want to try to become--they pay good money for hearts, even bits of the soul, to put in themselves for a lark, or soldiers in private armies. I'm sure you know the tactical advantages. Trouble is, it doesn't always take. A human doesn't know how to handle the strength, the aggression, and even if it works, it kills them eventually.

[smilederek]

Do you eat meat?

[And... well. Damn. That is incredibly disturbing.]

Bits of the soul? [ngh.] I've never heard a better argument for keeping what we are secret than that.

[rainfading]

I do. I'm half-Filipino; if I didn't eat lechón, my mother would disown me from beyond the grave.

Yes. Most of the remaining population has gone to the mountains in Kurdistan, which is where the strongest witches are from. Don't tell me some of your folk want to out themselves?

[smilederek]

Do you want to have a meal with me?

[Asking her out for dinner seems like it'd be misleading, since he's just going to catch something in the woods and maybe barbecue it or something, if she says yes.]

Some... don't seem to appreciate how much risk being found out would put us at.

[rainfading]

[ Which would be interesting, with this extremely citified girl in her Prada shoes, but she's always game for new things. ] Yes. And you know you're going to have to hang out with me [ and her girls, like Cher!! ] sometime beyond the fourth wall too, right? Since we all get along so well.

Let me guess, they're young.

[ yes you ancient recently 23-year-old professional thief, your good sense and maturity are clearly legendary ]

[smilederek]

Yeah. Sometime. I don't think she has any real plans for me beyond... wandering through non-existence, but I'd like that.

[sigh]

Very young.

[23-year-old werewolf feels your world weary knowledge having!]

[rainfading]

Fair warning: when I travel with my friends we tend to attract trouble. Even when we don't mean to. I think it's one of those supernatural gifts they don't tell us about.

I see you hassling that cute little thing up there, what is he, thirteen and a half?

[smilederek]

We're good with trouble, around here. One way or another, we get through.

Sixteen. And far better at being a werewolf than the actual werewolf he hangs around.

[rainfading]

Well. Then there should be no problem at all.

How does that work?

[smilederek]

The last alpha wasn't very discriminating about who he gave the bite too.

[rainfading]

Does that make his errant wolves your responsibility? Since I take that to mean you're the man in charge these days.

[smilederek]

Yeah. Whether his errant wolf likes it or not, we're family now.