Oh Meet The Pyro. Bringing out all the fun castmates...

[not_onyourside]

NON! I do not want to sit here and chat with all zhe new Pyros.

Eet will not be Character Development or whatever nonsense word you are zhrowing around. Eet ees virtual suicide and I will have no part een eet.

Comments

[not_onyourside]

Eef by care you mean being tied to a bench, and new best mate you mean someone who mumbles while trying to feed me cookies.

I like zhe plan where I go to Rio much better.

[hasstandards]

Fine. Go to Rio. You've got enough money for a ticket.

[not_onyourside]

Maybe I will. I will send you a postcard of all zhe fun I am having.

[Or maybe not. You know what's really difficult to get when you're technically dead? A passport.]

[hasstandards]

I'm sure every other line will be you whingin' about 'ow lonely you are.

[not_onyourside]

Eet will not be. I am confident I can find someone to entertain me.

[hasstandards]

I don't want to know what you mean by that, do I?

[not_onyourside]

I will send you pictures.

[hasstandards]

No. I don't want to know what you mean by that, then.

[not_onyourside]

You cannot stand to see me happy can you?

[hasstandards]

S'not that. I'm just not interested in how you occupy your time when you're on a holiday.

[not_onyourside]

Hmf. Very well. I shall have enough fun for zhe bozh of us while you wait around to burn to a crisp.

[hasstandards]

I can take care of myself. It's not like I'd stick around in a fire, you know.

[not_onyourside]

You would eef eet was caused by your paramour.

[hasstandards]

[Hissing and trying to come up with something to say to that, but he knows it's true. He's already done it once.]

[not_onyourside]

And I will be een Rio. You shall have to fend for yourself.

[hasstandards]

I said I don't need your help. It doesn't matter who causes the fire.

[not_onyourside]

Eef you say so.



Dear Sniper,
It's quite lovely here. You should see the beach! Also whats on the beach.

I have pictures.

[hasstandards]

[Frankly, he's surprised you can write that much.]

[not_onyourside]

[Shut up. That took him like three hours and eight failed postcards.]

[hasstandards]

[He had a feeling. Be happy he's saving it to commemorate the occasion. Or maybe he's just doing it because he doesn't get a lot of mail and likes postcards.]

[not_onyourside]

[Spy can tell you all about it after this whole Pyro business has died down. Oh how he loathes fire.]

[hasstandards]

[Sniper is just going to hide in his camper. Trust Pyro won't set him ablaze at any point. Avoid the BLU one for a while. Enjoy the peace and quiet as he's not dragged to places for marshmallows at two in the morning.]

[not_onyourside]

[Enjoy it while it lasts because Spy will be returning at 4 in the morning demanding marshmallows.]

[hasstandards]

[Locking the camper door. It's too late early for this.]

[not_onyourside]

[Very well.

THUNK. Thunk thunk.

That is the sound of one Spy on the roof of your camper.

And now silence. Whatever could he be doing up there?]