Oh Meet The Pyro. Bringing out all the fun castmates...

[not_onyourside]

NON! I do not want to sit here and chat with all zhe new Pyros.

Eet will not be Character Development or whatever nonsense word you are zhrowing around. Eet ees virtual suicide and I will have no part een eet.

Comments

[not_onyourside]

Just a moment!

[There's the sound of furious activity inside, things being moved, the rumple of fabric. But a few minutes later he does in fact open the door. Grinning the whole time.

Congratulations Sniper, you've been redecorated.]

[hasstandards]

[He side-eyes Spy as he steps into the doorway, his glare an icy one- that irritated look is traded for one of shock almost instantly.]

Spy.

[not_onyourside]

Oui?

[He sees nothing wrong. Sniper has always had cheerful red throw blankets on all his chairs and bed, that piece of art? Always been there. So has the red shag rug and the vase with a single red daisy in it thats sitting on the table. Nothing new.]

[hasstandards]

[He's pretty sure absolutely none of that stuff was there minutes ago. He would know because he was there. His eyes trail from the blankets to the art, then to the daisy, and back to the blankets. He doesn't even notice the rug until he takes a step in and his boots hit it.]

Spy.

[And now he's shooting Spy a sharp look.]

[not_onyourside]

Sniper.

[NOT SEEING THE PROBLEM HERE.]

[hasstandards]

What is all this?

[not_onyourside]

Souvenirs?

[hasstandards]

... Souvenirs.

[Continued glaring and linefacing.]

And what are they doing here?

[not_onyourside]

Making your camper habitable and looking lovely.

[Go ahead and try to pick up that vase. Go ahead. Try it.]

[hasstandards]

My camper was fine how it is, so maybe you oughtta take these things to your room to make it more habi—

[He stops after collecting one of the blankets as he attempts to pick up the vase.]

Did... did you glue this to my table?

[not_onyourside]

But now eet ees pretty!

[He just arches an eyebrow.]

Maybe.

[Yes.]

[hasstandards]

I didn't need it to be pretty. It was fine how it was!

[not_onyourside]

No eet was not. Eet was filzhy and disgusting and een need of color. So -- voila!

[hasstandards]

[He fiddles with the vase again. He must have used Mann Co. Military-Grade Glue on it.]

And what am I supposed to do with a pretty camper? Invite people in for a cuppa?

[not_onyourside]

[The quick drying kind too. Very pricey. But your camper is worth it Sniper.]

Not be ashamed of your living arrangements?

[hasstandards]

I wasn't ashamed of them before.

[not_onyourside]

Well I was ashamed of zhem for you. And now I do not have to be.

Zhe blankets are handwoven, high threadcount cotton, very comfy.

[hasstandards]

[Eye roll.]

I'm guessin' you're not taking these back no matter how much I insist I don't need all this stuff, either.

[not_onyourside]

Non. Zhey are yours.

I expect zhey will smell like piss een a few days and I would not want zhem back anyway.

[hasstandards]

Probably. I expect you'll be lyin' all over this rug at some point when you get chased out of your room for one reason or another.

[not_onyourside]

Zhat ees my plan, oui. And eef Demo and Soldier would not have zheir fights een Demo's room right next to mine we would not have zhis problem.

[hasstandards]

Right. So we can blame them for...

[A gesture toward the rest of the camper's interior.]

... all this.

[not_onyourside]

Oui! Now you understand. Eet was all necessary. Every single piece.

[hasstandards]

... Right.

[He looks at his watch.]

Speaking of Soldier, we've got about an hour before he wakes us all up.

[not_onyourside]

Zhen I should go take a nap. I have not slept yet.