On AIM conversations and bad jokes about closet fashionistas and in-your-face hipsters.

[chronomancer]

oh for crying out loud wwoman
its not as if you knoww all the shit ivve been through or anythi
oh wwait
you do
an noww you wwant to swweet talk me into something wwe both knoww i wwill regret evven more than pretty much evverything else in my shitty life thus far
congratulations thats saying something considering all the concentrated suck ivve had to shovvel out of the wway

[Mun mutters something, almost soothing.]

the only eridan ampora im wwilling to meet is the future past me that wwill prevvent you from evven making this account in the first place
so there
enjoy this horrible stupid doomed timeline while it lasts

[Mun snickers and mutters something else.]

orphaner dualwwhat?
wwho the hell is that?
oh right someone else i dont care or wwant to meet
right

Comments

[caligulas_aquarium]

wweird at first but to be honest it wwas nice i thoroughly enjoyed our convversation
but that isnt the point here
i need to ask you somethin
are you outta your fuckin mind
has all that jadeblood soaked into your fuckin thinkpan an made a useless damp sponge outta it causin you to make nothin but mistake after mistake
howw the fuck could you reject her
do you knoww wwhat id givve to be in a situation wwhere i could reject fef
not to say i wwould id accept obvviously but
seriously knowwin that you got that chance an fucked up it i honestly cannot comprehend that
instead i got the fucked up end a this timeline fuckery an found myself not only abandoned but also replaced by a pissblood nevver to be contacted again by my only friend
god a part a me doesnt evven wwanna hear your fuckin answwer but mostly i need to knoww wwhy exactly youre evven more of a dumbfuck than me wwhen it comes to romance
so spill it

[chronomancer]

you think i wwanted to?
i dont knoww wwhat your stupid element is in the game noww
mine wwas time
you knoww wwhat that means?
corpses
piles upon piles of goddamn corpses on evvery corner and as far as the eye can see
MY corpses from all the stupid doomed timelines that split evvery time i mismanage time
and trust me
i mismanage a lot
fef is really good with a shovvel but thats not the kind of shovvelin she should be doin
not for a moirail and certainly not for a
wwell it doesnt matter
i didnt havve time for that
hahaha
fuckin mage of time doesnt have time for romance
get it?
sounds like you had a better chance for it than i did though
wwhat happened?

[caligulas_aquarium]

oh god not this time shit again
wwell heres a question asshat did you evven fuckin ask her about it
did you explain it to her about it an let her decide herself or just decide by yourself wwhat wwas best for her wwithout explainin anythin

[The moirail comment gets to him a little bit after he's done, and boy does it strike a nerve.]

wwait wwhat
dont tell me you twwo wwere moirails
did you break that off the moment she confessed she wwanted to take it one step further too

[chronomancer]

of course wwe wwere moirails
fef is the best moirail one could evver hope for
but
there wwas
vvery shitty timin about the wwhole thing
she asked just after i spent a wwhile shovvelin dead eridans out of the wway and had made up my mind
i mean
its fef
of course she wwouldnt havve minded
she wwould havve tried to help
but shes not time
she wwould have only gotten hurt wworse
and after evverything ivve fuckin screwwed up
i wwasnt goin to screww up HER
it wworked out
fine i guess
i mean
if i hadnt rejected her i wwouldnt havve been able to bring myself to scratch the session
and then wwe wwould all be fucked
wworse at least than wwe wwere

[caligulas_aquarium]

i fuckin kneww it
fef in my univverse did the EXACT same thing to me this is some kinda wweird role revversal shit you twwo havve goin on

[Not exact at all, but this is mr.paranoid bluh bluh drama troll we're talking about.]

alright so maybe she wwasnt time related in any wway but
she did the same thing i got completely rejected by her the moment i brought up the fuckin notion a bein matesprits
an a course she made all these decisions on her part wwithout evven consultin or discussin it wwith me
just flat out made me accept it just like that
nevver spoke to her again until
stuff happened
eitherwway its bullshit
wwhat the shit is wwith the univverse is this really just another wway its mockin me
you could honestly take my fef ill take yours you twwo can go ahead an reject each other till the end a time for all i fuckin care
FUCK
just
this is stupid anywway isnt it
thats not evven a possible thing im just pissed off wwith howw this all keeps wworkin out
i cant help but wwonder if theres one flippin eridan ampora out there wwhos destined to not be a complete fuck up an by himself forevver

[chronomancer]

[and mr screwed up by time will believe him, of course. because he's that much of an idiot at heart]

wwe are made of fuckin suck
thats all there is to it
paradox space is just fuckin in against us
though wwe probably brought it upon ourselvves
Somethin Stupid somewwhere along the line and
bam
piles of suck to shovvel for the rest of our stupid livves

[caligulas_aquarium]

god i fuckin hate evverythin
i really do
theres honestly no hope is there
no matter howw hard either a us try no matter howw hard ANY eridan tries an struggles to piece together some kind a nice little pleasant cycle like the others all havve itll nevver wwork out wwill it
an it wwont evver end
evven if wwe die evventually therell be other eridans
theres alwways gonna be other eridans and theyre alwways gonna be hopeless fuckups just like wwe wwere
doesnt matter wwhat color their blood is or wwhat fuckin species they are evven
i bet the prince a hope title wwas some kinda sick fuckin joke on the univverses part to fuck wwith us evven more

[chronomancer]

pretty much yeah
thats howw the univverse rolls
evver so often somethin almost nice happens and then I retroactively screww it up
because thats wwhat i do im the best evver at screwwin shit up

[caligulas_aquarium]

guess theres no real point in discussin it though huh
wwe pretty much knoww howw much wwe both fuckin suck from experience
...
wwere you evver happy at least

[chronomancer]

wwhat?

[caligulas_aquarium]

oh sorry i didnt realize id just asked the most complicated fuckin question you evver did hear
but i cant make it any more fuckin straightforwward noww can i
just flippin answwer me wwill you

[chronomancer]

shut up
im thinkin
an i guess chattin with jade wasnt so bad
but wwe wwere both kinda screwwed by time so happy is not really wwhat youd call it
yeah not happy but it wwas almost okay after a wwhile
wwhich says a lot about the rest i guess
just didnt havve the time for anythin better evven if i had wwanted it
so no
i wwas alwways too busy tryin to keep my head from explodin ovver some stupid stable timeloop

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwell
i cant say i didnt expect that
okay wwould pretty much be the wway id describe myself at my best too
so
ugh
isnt jade that human girl though

[chronomancer]

yeah hes the wwitch a time
an a course the wwitch and the mage get the damn same useless powwers of shit that only fuck up things wworse each time theyre used
so i suppose youd say he wwas my friend

[caligulas_aquarium]

he
i thought the jade human wwas a girl
unless this is more fucked up alternate univverse bullshit i dunno
still
good goin
if you evven had one friend you did good
thats all ill say

[chronomancer]

wwhy?
because i bonded wwith someone ovver how much being the hero a time fuckin sucks an nothin ever wworks out like you wwant it to?
because i dont think he wwould really be my friend otherwwise

[caligulas_aquarium]

wwould you rather havve died completely alone
hated by evveryone platonically
i get your timeline fuckin sucked but
mine wwas really no better
in the grand scheme a things wwe didnt all die
maybe some a them got out alivve after i died for wwhat it wwas wworth so ovverall it wwas good but for other people
for us it nevver got better
it nevver wwill

[chronomancer]

wwait
does
does that mean youre dead?

[caligulas_aquarium]

...
yeah
i did some fucked up things i really regret an got culled for it

[chronomancer]

oh
im sorry to hear that

[caligulas_aquarium]

dont be
i dont wwant your pity
chances are if you kneww wwhat happened youd hate me too
trust me i knoww

[chronomancer]

yes eridan
remind me howw much a fuckin douche you are
i nevver screwwed up myself
alwways fleww right through the stupid game with a perfect score to showw for
oh
right
i Scratched the session and pretty much doomed evveryone wwho wwasnt already dead to nonexistence
im sorry not evveryone can screww up that badly

[caligulas_aquarium]

look im not tryin to say compared to wwhat any other eridan did i am the one wwho fucked up the most
i just think that despite wwhat you did it wwouldnt make you feel any less pissed towwards me for killin fef

...and this is where I wish I were playing Violetescence-verse too. OTL

[chronomancer]

that
depends entirely on wwhy you did that

this is where i wish i knew why cause before seein you and teal!fef i had no idea what RDV was OTLx2

[caligulas_aquarium]

i dont mean this in a snobby highblood kinda wway
cause i knoww for sure if i dont fuckin explain myself before sayin this youd assume im bein a prick
wwhich most times wwould be true
but
as a jadeblood
you simply wwouldnt get it