canon: Monsters VS. Aliens

[carshoeswagger]

So, on the world stage, huh? Everyone can see me? Oh. Oh wow. I'm-- I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. Are you sure this is even safe? What if I step on someone or someone gets scared or- or--!

Does anyone have a giant paper bag? Anyone?! I- I can't breathe! I think I'm hyperventilating!

What if my hyperventilating causes a hurricane?! I can't handle this, mun! Send me back to fight giant robots, or something!

[Ever wanted to see a 49ft 11in tall woman have a panic attack? Too bad, it's already happening!]

Comments

[never_nor]

[Don't mind him he'll just be growing to your height Susan.]

There, is this better? Now stop acting like such a ninny. You probably cause more collateral damage fighting robots than you would here.

[carshoeswagger]

[Scream.avi]

[never_nor]

Calm yourself. Do I look like I'm trying to harm you?

[carshoeswagger]

I don't know!

[Hard... To... Breathe-]

[never_nor]

Why are you so scared of someone your own size? I thought your worry was hurting shorter people.

[carshoeswagger]

Because now there's two giant monsters! That's double the potential destruction!

[never_nor]

I won't cause any destruction unless I intend to. You on the other hand should practice subtle movements.

[tree_puncher]

[Here's a small 1.7 meter tall block man looking up at you. But totally without any fear or such of your huge size.]

I thought Giant Mobs looked just like Zombies, only huge...

[carshoeswagger]

I- I'm not a zombie!

[tree_puncher]

Well I'll believe that, given how you unlike them speak.

[i_am_groot]

[Groot is a giant tree person approximately the same size as Susan]

I AM GROOT!

[carshoeswagger]

Uh... I am Ginormica?

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[He tries to give her a comforting pat on the back]

[carshoeswagger]

[This is weird, even for her, so she'll just, you know, stare.]

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT?

[Groot concentrates, causing trees to grow from the ground, weaving together into a gigantic chair]

[carshoeswagger]

[...

This is so weird, but a chair is a chair and a gentle...tree is a gentletree. Susan carefully perches herself on the chair, still staring blankly at Groot.]

Uh... Thanks, Groot.

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[vague gestures that might be asking if she needs anything else?]

[carshoeswagger]

Do you speak English? Or anything other than 'Groot'?

[Because being able to talk to him would be pretty cool.]

[i_am_groot]

I AM GROOT!

[Vague sort of sad shrugging. Few meat people can understand Groot.]

[carshoeswagger]

Hey, it's okay! Don't look so blue!

[Alright, time to use the basic sign language she learnt back in high school.]

We can work with this, it's not that bad. Uh, here's how you say Ginormica in sign language. [Cue vague handmotions.] See? Do you want to give it a go, Groot?

[i_am_groot]

[Groot makes an attempt at it, but it might actually come out closer to I AM GROOT]

I... AM... GROOT?

[andapaperclip]

Susan! Susan, do try to calm down.

[carshoeswagger]

But- But--!

[HOLD HER, DOC. HOLD HER LIKE ONE OF YOUR GIANT FRENCH GIRLS.]

[andapaperclip]

[Best he can do right now is pat her giant foot!]

It's quite alright Susan. I've been here before and it isn't something to worry about. Just be careful like you would be at home.

[carshoeswagger]

You really think I can do it? Because back home there are things in place to, you know, fix things if I trip over and fall onto a gas station.

[She glances around, before carefully sitting on a conveniently placed truck.]

[andapaperclip]

You'd be surprised by the kinds of people here. If something like that broke I'm sure we'd be able to find someone to fix it.

[carshoeswagger]

Really? There are seriously people like that here?

[andapaperclip]

Oh yes. Monsters like us fit right in in this strange little place.

[carshoeswagger]

That's great!

[Consider yourself grabbed, bro.]

I thought this place was going to be full of 'normal' people - but if there's other monsters, it can't be that bad, right?

[andapaperclip]

[He wobbles a bit in her hand, but totally getting used to this, okay.]

Oh yes. It seems that there's a great mix of both. My mundane even brings out another monster from time to time here.

[carshoeswagger]

[This is good, because Ginormica is going to grab him a lot]

Another monster? You mean monster like you and me and not alien pumpkin monster, right? Because if it's another you and me monster, we should all hang out and see a movie! Or, uh, whatever you're into, Doc.

[andapaperclip]

Her name is Lagoona. Seems to me like she might be a distant relative of Link's. I imagine they two of you would get along splendidly.

[carshoeswagger]

I know her! Well, my mun knows her, but that's pretty much the same thing.

[sandwormie]

Um- lady-

[Luke is semi-immune to fear. He cups his hands around his mouth and shouts.]

TRY SITTING DOWN!

[carshoeswagger]

What if I sit on someone?!

[sandwormie]

LOOK FIRST!

[aaaand he crouches. So helpful, kid.]

[megamind]

........ I'm going to need a bigger DE-Gun.

[carshoeswagger]

[Gun?! All Ginormica could hear was 'gun' and guns are bad, even when your more than 49 feet tall.]

Shoot at me and I'll step on you, pal!

[megamind]

But you're an enormous threat! Look at you! [Seriously look at you.]

[carshoeswagger]

[There is no mirror big enough to look at herself. Thanks for reminding her :T]

And what about you, Mr. Blue?! Looks pretty alien to me!

[megamind]

Well, of course I am. I'm not a soft-headed human. [cue villainous chortle] I'm a brilliant, otherworldly intellect.

But I'm also the dashing hero of Metrocity.

[carshoeswagger]

Oh. [She was kind of hoping he'd take that as an insult and flee.] I've never heard of Metrocity, but I'll take your word for it, Mr...?

[megamind]

Megamind! I'm Megamind. [Way better than your substandard cockroach doctor, lady.]

[carshoeswagger]

[Don't even go there, bro, Dr. C is a king among men and you're blue and smell like fish.]

Megamind. Right. Never heard of you. [Ha!] I'm Susan, by the way. Ginormica if you want the Monster name.

[mantrap]

You should calm yerself up there li'l lady.

It ain't so bad around here.

[carshoeswagger]

[Since I've already used scream.avi, have scream.mp3]