dear_mun | new to dw. be gentle with me yo

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new to dw. be gentle with me yo

hey sup

so my mun thought it would be legit smart to do one of these things when theres like a million and one daves walking around

i know im pretty used to that but he isnt and hes being a genuine fucktard

just let me handle this shit and lay back

anyway whats crackalackin

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They're all pretty much idiots like that.

woah there

dont come up to me talking shit about my mun

that man is perfection

he just has a hard time matching my suave linguistics

Well, aren't you lucky.

why does it always come back to luck

cant i just be naturally talented at finding a mun thats perfect

do you have a prob with your mun or something

they cant be that bad i mean come on

Pssht, okay, sorry, didn't mean to downplay your 'natural talent'. You're just too excellent.

its all good
as long as we come to agreement about that i think well be fine
your mun has to be pretty ok if they thought it was a good decision to come chat it up with dave motherfuckin strider
at least thats my opinion

I mean, she thinks you're pretty excellent and actually means it. I'm not so easily convinced. Can you fly or blow shit up with your mind or anything because if not, forget it.

hell yeah thats what im talking about
flying and blowing shit up is so lame dude
i could fly before i even hit god tier
what does that tell you
my sweet duds should already be a marking of authenticity of how much of a badass i am

Your sweet . . . duds.

You mean the hood?

fuck the hood
i mean the hood is pretty awesome
but it fucks my hair up when i pull it off and it takes a good 2 minutes to fix it
im talking about the whole package
this shit is the equivalent of direct tv's ultra package with like 480 stations and porn on half of them

So the sweet tights.

Are you talking about your sweet tights.

yes
my sweet tights is apart of that package
unless you thought package was a euphemism for my crotch
ok i guess it kind of us but i didnt mean to
fuck it
yeah my tights

. . . Okay, anybody who has the balls to wear tights is pretty excellent. Congrats.

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omg
dave!!!!
its nice to see another one of you
theres never enough daves because youre just too cool hehe
i think your mun is going to be just fine as long as he follows my muns lead :P

damn harley its been a while
what did i tell you about pointing out the obvious
its wrong and you should feel bad
and my mun is perfectly fine he says
he also says that you should woof for old times sake

daaaaaaaave dont be silly
.....
no :/ im not going to woof dave and daves mun
you should know how stupid it makes me feel when im trying to be serious or focus on something and
WOOF!
wow thanks a lot for jinxing me

hahaha fuck
you should be thanking me for creating a moment of pure hilarity haha
woof
pfffft
see what im saying its hilarious

:|
you dont have some stupid urge to control like woofing or trying not to chase cats so dont be mean to me
you get a cool sword and stuff
i get fleas if im not careful!!!! XO
and thats a joke btw
that is what youre REALLY suppose to be laughing at dave!!

did you forget my tagline after all this time harley
its irony
laughing at shit that isnt supposed to be a joke is ironic
god dammit all that time teaching you this and its wasted
ps my sword is fuckin broken its not that damn cool

i didnt forget...
and it doesnt matter its still a cool sword and thats that!!!
all i have is making planets smaller and when will that even be useful???
do you have any planets i can shrink dave?? no??
then be quiet!!!
<3

i have some theoretical planets for you to shrink cause theyre so big
but yeah youre right your powers are pretty shitty
at least you got the cute dog ears out of them
the red shoes really accentuate your ass too

wow dave you just got a five hit combo on me
thanks!!!
@_@
ew dont be gross dave youre going to give karkat even more reason for his shitty boatwall
the point is you should be glad you have a broken sword that probably has sharp edges because you can still cut people
that is when youre not using your REALLY COOL TIME POWERS!!! so hush :P

as much as i enjoy a good dose of asskissing from you and egbert and lalonde and the trolls
shut up
a broken sword is still a fuckin broken sword
and do i have to remind you how stressful it is to manage time
its like a goddamn toys r us and im a manager of a bunch of shittier daves from the future and past
it sucks

stressful but you still do it pretty good
i think
i dont get to see you use it that often and i only got to use mine once
i hope our muns find us a place where we can actually use our powers or im refunding these ears somehow :P
well i think shitty daves are still cooler than a bunch of crocs and salamanders
but dont tell john that because hes pretty fond of them

i know i do it good
thats the problem
if i dont do it good i cause doomed timelines with dead harleys and egberts
shit is going to make my pubes grey i swear
and woah why the fuck would you tell me that
i love those goddamn naknaks
i kind of miss them