definitely not going to dramadramaduck ever.

[espy]

Yes, that's enough, the giggling is quite unnecessary.

Don't even know if you're going to follow through with it yet, do we? Oh, but that's the fun part, we do, you've got a record. Boring, terribly boring, there's only two possible outcomes, but judging by your record, if you do follow through, it's not going to end well. The other one? Well, you'll say you will and then you won't, of course. It's all right there in your history. No, I didn't do my fancy detective trick - don't call it a trick, it cheapens me - because I didn't need to because it's obvious.

Now either do something useful or don't do anything at all. Ah, you've already got the latter covered. Excellent.

—Kind? Don't be ridiculous, why would I be kind?

Comments

[usedreturn]

You have a fancy detective trick?

[carriesparasol]

Another contrary mundane? It seems a very common trait of their kind.

[espy]

It's not a trick, and I wouldn't call it fancy. She would, because she's a simpleton. It's observation and common sense, which an alarming number of people seem to be lacking in lately, not lately, really, all the time, and this number of people unfortunately includes her.

[usedreturn]

Oh, common sense. Right, yes, not a lot of people out and about using that these days. Shame, people are brilliant when they manage to put their minds to it.

[espy]

Oh, don't sound so surprised, it's a very common trait of every kind, it's what happens when stupid people try to make up their minds, or worse still, uncertain people, which is really the same thing as stupid in the end, isn't it.

[yeah, that wasn't actually a question.]

[carriesparasol]

If one is always uncertain I suppose it might be considered stupid. However if someone considered themselves certain all the time it would be rather tedious.

In any case, both mindsets would garner considerable headaches to those around them.

[espy]

People are brilliant? Please. Some people. A good deal of people who are capable and just waste their energy on their pointless, mundane little lives, yes, but just as many who couldn't even if you wrote them an instruction manual on how to actually utilise their brains, if not more.

[usedreturn]

Pointless? Oh, I don't know if I'd call any of them pointless. Not very bright most of the time, no, but no one's pointless.

You're not really the optimistic type, are you? No, shut up, I already know. You're stuck in that boring 'humans are all boring and I'm not' sort of mentality. Boring. Been there, done that, wrote the book. Except I didn't, I have better things to do than sit around writing a book.

[sedenquire]

I have been informed that it's rarely boring. If she does manage to overcome her indecision, you may find ample opportunity to put your so-called fancy detective trick to use.

[ Because creeping around the headspace gathering information is what you do when you're Mycroft Holmes. ]

[espy]

Not at all. I find certainty to be rather the opposite. The only tedium is watching others try to keep up.

But, my informant has assured me that the part about the headaches is true.

[carriesparasol]

Ah, but certainty does not always mean correct. Thus the headaches.

[espy]

You might find that more of them are pointless than you think.

[wow did he just get told to shut up??? r u d e.]

Humans? All boring? No. No, not at all, never that. Some of them are hideously boring, yes, but I do my best to avoid those ones entirely, and good Lord, there are a lot of them, it'd almost be depressing if I cared about that fraction of people at all. But humans have such a potential to be interesting, you see. I wouldn't bother being a detective if I thought the people I was investigated were boring. What kind of tedious lifestyle would that be?

[usedreturn]

Oh, I think I might have a bit more perspective on the situation than you. If 'a bit' was somehow redefined to mean 'quite a large amount thank you very much'.

I don't think I've ever, ever met a single human I could ever call 'boring'. Irritating, yes, annoying, definitely, but not boring. Some detective you are, if you can see the potential but nothing else.

[espy]

You haven't been informed, you've been digging. I don't pander, Mycroft, I'm not going to be taking a case from any of those idiots unless I'm desperate. I can be entirely certain that I don't want to hear about their other worlds, their aliens and time-travel and their magic. I don't read fiction, and there's a reason for it.

[espy]

But since, as far as I know, it hasn't been redefined to mean anything like that, you may as well have just skipped to the point and said it outright - no, that wouldn't have been as fun, would it?

[so??? offended??????? sir i will slap you right in your face.]

I've seen them realise that potential plenty of times. What do you think a murderer is? That's interesting. I'd go so far as to say most of the victims in those cases are interesting in some way; they must be, musn't they? Interesting in some way, to warrant being murdered by an interesting person.

[usedreturn]

[look how much i care sherlock]

[the negative amount of care i have would punch a hole in the fabric of time]

Oh, now I know you're just a sad little pessimist.

[sedenquire]

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." Or are you eating your own words, now?

[espy]

Mm... No. I'm never wrong. If I thought I could be wrong, I wouldn't be certain, and that just ruins the whole point I was making about uncertain people being stupid and me not being one of those people. It doesn't always, of course, no, how could it, but with me, hm, yes, it does. I'm certain because I'm always right and I'm certain of that. Funny how it works, don't you think?

using this journal because it has more icons rn okok

[hasfartogo]

[ ... ]

Being indecisive does appear to be a common trait. [ welp this sure does merit a headtilt ] You don't seem too bothered about the outcome.

[espy]

[wow how dare you.]

I'm not denying that it's real, I'm saying I don't want anything to do with it. Just because it's there doesn't make it interesting. Oh, look, I can make this feather fly, yes, so what. Tedious. Boring! I'm not going to go investigating their magical little worlds unless there's something on offer that's actually good, I thought you would have known that already.

[espy]

Really. And what about you? Happy little optimist, always seeing the good in people? Please. I'm a realist.

[but there's definitely something wrong here, because he looks at him and he can't pinpoint... anything. there are little things that should make sense, of course, but they contradict - virtually spotless and unkempt at the same time. he's almost an impossibility. which, of course, is impossible in itself, so it just means that something's missing.]

[usedreturn]

'Optimist' is really not the word at all. I choose to see things as I see them, and how I see them is really quite interesting. People with all their potential accomplishing so much with short little lives, it's brilliant.

...oh, look, I think you're getting it. Because look at me, look at my eyes, you're difficult but you're smart and you can see something is not quite right about me. Can't you?

no that's not allowed god how dare you i'm not okay with change

[espy]

Is being bothered about it going to do anything? No, rhetorical question, of course it's not, so there's no point in it. Indecisiveness is a common trait because stupidity and uncertainty are both common and correlating traits, it's not exactly anything to puzzle over.

[espy]

And the people that accomplish nothing with their short little lives? I imagine they're brilliant too, in their own special little ways. [how about that biting sarcasm today.]

Of course I can, now what is it.

what even is this

[pinkishgray]

Would that be such a terrible thing?