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definitely not going to ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dramadramaduck ever.
Yes, that's enough, the giggling is quite unnecessary.
Don't even know if you're going to follow through with it yet, do we? Oh, but that's the fun part, we do, you've got a record. Boring, terribly boring, there's only two possible outcomes, but judging by your record, if you do follow through, it's not going to end well. The other one? Well, you'll say you will and then you won't, of course. It's all right there in your history. No, I didn't do my fancy detective trick - don't call it a trick, it cheapens me - because I didn't need to because it's obvious.
Now either do something useful or don't do anything at all. Ah, you've already got the latter covered. Excellent.
—Kind? Don't be ridiculous, why would I be kind?
Don't even know if you're going to follow through with it yet, do we? Oh, but that's the fun part, we do, you've got a record. Boring, terribly boring, there's only two possible outcomes, but judging by your record, if you do follow through, it's not going to end well. The other one? Well, you'll say you will and then you won't, of course. It's all right there in your history. No, I didn't do my fancy detective trick - don't call it a trick, it cheapens me - because I didn't need to because it's obvious.
Now either do something useful or don't do anything at all. Ah, you've already got the latter covered. Excellent.
—Kind? Don't be ridiculous, why would I be kind?
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You're not really the optimistic type, are you? No, shut up, I already know. You're stuck in that boring 'humans are all boring and I'm not' sort of mentality. Boring. Been there, done that, wrote the book. Except I didn't, I have better things to do than sit around writing a book.
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[wow did he just get told to shut up??? r u d e.]
Humans? All boring? No. No, not at all, never that. Some of them are hideously boring, yes, but I do my best to avoid those ones entirely, and good Lord, there are a lot of them, it'd almost be depressing if I cared about that fraction of people at all. But humans have such a potential to be interesting, you see. I wouldn't bother being a detective if I thought the people I was investigated were boring. What kind of tedious lifestyle would that be?
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I don't think I've ever, ever met a single human I could ever call 'boring'. Irritating, yes, annoying, definitely, but not boring. Some detective you are, if you can see the potential but nothing else.
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[so??? offended??????? sir i will slap you right in your face.]
I've seen them realise that potential plenty of times. What do you think a murderer is? That's interesting. I'd go so far as to say most of the victims in those cases are interesting in some way; they must be, musn't they? Interesting in some way, to warrant being murdered by an interesting person.
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[the negative amount of care i have would punch a hole in the fabric of time]
Oh, now I know you're just a sad little pessimist.
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[but there's definitely something wrong here, because he looks at him and he can't pinpoint... anything. there are little things that should make sense, of course, but they contradict - virtually spotless and unkempt at the same time. he's almost an impossibility. which, of course, is impossible in itself, so it just means that something's missing.]
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...oh, look, I think you're getting it. Because look at me, look at my eyes, you're difficult but you're smart and you can see something is not quite right about me. Can't you?
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Of course I can, now what is it.
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[but he's taking that challenge, because he's looking and it's clear that he is, he's studying intently. he's never had to take other worlds and their wider range of possibilities into account before, but what kind of detective would he be if he didn't even make an attempt? the clothes, at least, are simple; old-fashioned and outdated on a young-looking man but clearly new, spotless just like everything else, the style of them alone either suggests something about his taste or it could be that he's much older than he looks - given the cryptic remarks about perspective and the way he talks about humans as if he's not one of them, sherlock is willing to bet on the latter.
it's a start, isn't it.]
You're old. It's the clothes that give you away, notably an ancient fashion, out of place on a man who looks as youthful as you do, and they're clean in a way that only comes from them being new; it could be a reflection of your taste but it's not, certainly not coupled with the way you speak, you're not terribly covert about it, it's obvious you don't care much about hiding it, possibly you don't see a reason to. Judging by the way you act, I'd also say that you've an exceptionally long lifespan, and however old you are isn't unusual for whatever you might be.
So. How old are you?
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[Kid in a candy store, this one.]
Nine hundred and seven.
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Nine hundred and seven. Well, then. Getting on in our years, are we? You'll forgive me if I don't bother trying to pin down precisely what you are, considering the tremendous range of possibilities at hand.
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[he's looking for things again, but there's nothing there. he said it flippantly, that's the only information there is, and it could mean any of a thousand things; he's not carrying anything on him that stands out as memorial, which could mean he's not particularly sentimental, could mean he doesn't care, could mean there was nothing left to keep - no, there are too many possibilities, this man is too vague and too mysterious, he can't get anything, this is frustrating.]
Got a name, Time Lord?
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[Isn't it just infuriating, Sherlock? How he just stands there and smiles like an idiot while not being remotely close to an idiot at all?]
[Of course it is. The Doctor's practically made a career out of being infuriating.]
And what about you?
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Ah. I've got a doctor friend myself. [except he's not nearly this infuriating, or intelligent, or fascinating.] Sherlock Holmes. Nothing quite so unique as your little title, but I am the world's only consulting detective.
1/4 i am so sorry
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. . .
[Well I'll be a tapdancing Sailor Gallifrey in stilettos, he was serious.]
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... Either I'm missing something, or John's blog has managed to cross time and space in its ridiculous popularity, in which case I'm sure he'll be over the Moon, how do you know who I am?
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[Eleven, you are such a goddamn tease.]
You don't know anyone named Arthur Conan Doyle by any chance, do you? Might be a 'sir' on the front of that.
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Never heard of him, why? And what do you mean, how can I be Sherlock Holmes?
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