canon is Oglaf, game is paradisa

[themistress]

Look, girl. I know you thought it would be fun to bring me to that little castle of yours, but we have a few very serious problems to deal with. You had to have known that everyone there is just the worst, most boring kind of prude. How many virgins can exist in one castle anyway? I've only found a handful of people who are even vaguely interesting, but what's worse is that they're all rebelling. You told me that they'd lie back and accept my reign. Did you lie to me?

And I'm dreadfully alone. You haven't worked nearly hard enough on finding my Apprentice or the Xoan Ambassador -- you know they exist, but you haven't spent your time grabbing them by the collars and forcing them to attend to me.

Well? Oh, so now you have nothing to say to me. I might have known.

Comments

I love Oglaf xD

[tinfoil_angel]

If you want a community where you'll be "attended" to, the love hotel would be a better location.

It also requires no application so you could go in right now if you really wanted.

yay \o/

[themistress]

Ha ha. Cute, that you'd think my Apprentice and the Ambassador, of all people, would serve that purpose. No no, they're needed strictly for chaste entertainment. And costume-wearing.

Miracle of miracles, I've managed to fulfill that particular need in the place where I am now. Besides, I'm a ruler. I would never go someplace where applications weren't even required.

[tinfoil_angel]

Well I could of read your mind to find that out.

But quite frankly I don't know what is in your head from the bare minimum of things my mundane just told me about you.

[themistress]

It's probably for the best. After all, if you did something silly like read my mind, I'd have to kill you in the most painful way I could devise.

Maybe something involving a soup tureen and a sturgeon.

[sarcasticpelican]

[with a small grin]My Mun has been eating ice cream and reading what you've been up to in there. Someone showed it to her earlier.

Thank you.
[Rolls her eyes as she adds]
The more time between be ending up where Im headed once this application is done and now the better.

[themistress]

Oh? And who might you be? You look similar to some wonderful friends I've made recently.

[sarcasticpelican]

I guess you can call me 479. [Like she's going to tell you her real name]

And really?
Who in particular have you made friends with? [I should probably mention the Canon is Red vs Blue, not Halo.]
I mean I'm sure my Mun knows but I'm left in the dark here.

I don't think Wash has actually revealed his name yet

[themistress]

Well, there was the tall one, of course, quite brisk. And then the "special ops" one, who says he's from a different village as the tall one, but really, I think their armor is too similar to be a coincidence. He was cold at first, but of course he warmed up eventually.

Those helmets really are quite bulky.

Oglaaaaf

[cursed_with_awesome]

I...really think that most people prefer democratic election processes. Leads to less violent uprising later on, historically. I don't think you can just declare yourself leader, automatically, and expect people to listen.

\o/

[themistress]

I have an entire kingdom that begs to differ.

[cursed_with_awesome]

Maybe they were just too lazy to tell you otherwise. You're not there anymore, are you?

My cat says ".////////////" to you, but that's OOC so I deleted it

[themistress]

Too lazy, too survival-minded. It doesn't matter, really. We don't have a problem with uprisings.

[guiltyyy]

You reeeeap what you soooooow.

[themistress]

[Ignoring you! Also, is that an icon you got Photoshopped out of???]

Another Oglaf reader here.

[stillshinigami]

Muns lie all the time, so it shouldn't be all that surprising.

Oglaf party!

[themistress]

I think she thought I'd get over it if she was funny enough.

Just need canon appropriate party music.

[stillshinigami]

Isn't your canon a comedy?

I believe we'll need a porn soundtrack from 1974

[themistress]

Among other things.

[dontpatr0nizeme]

Really, I'm wishing you luck, if just because you might make things amusing. The castle can get boring.

Too bad you can't really do much with me until the mun decides to take me off the loss I'm on.

[themistress]

The castle is in desperate need of what it is that I do. That much was obvious the moment I stepped foot in the lobby.

But you're so precious that way. What are you, exactly?

[dontpatr0nizeme]

I'm sure.

I'm an artificial intelligence unit.

[themistress]

I don't know what that is. Do you do anything interesting in that form?

[daughters_of_janus]

Now aren't you just the sexiest tyrant ever?

[Sure Jeanette's impressed but she's hiding it behind a seductive smile.]

[themistress]

Yes, I am. And who might you be?

[daughters_of_janus]

I am Jeanette and could I be the first one here to sign up to work for you?

[They were far too similar in how they enjoyed "certain activities" to not want in on that fun.]