canon is Oglaf, game is paradisa

[themistress]

Look, girl. I know you thought it would be fun to bring me to that little castle of yours, but we have a few very serious problems to deal with. You had to have known that everyone there is just the worst, most boring kind of prude. How many virgins can exist in one castle anyway? I've only found a handful of people who are even vaguely interesting, but what's worse is that they're all rebelling. You told me that they'd lie back and accept my reign. Did you lie to me?

And I'm dreadfully alone. You haven't worked nearly hard enough on finding my Apprentice or the Xoan Ambassador -- you know they exist, but you haven't spent your time grabbing them by the collars and forcing them to attend to me.

Well? Oh, so now you have nothing to say to me. I might have known.

Comments

[themistress]

You should leave now.

Oops. He can't help having Shadahl's preferences.

[cursed_with_awesome]

...I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

But he can help rudeness!

[themistress]

It wasn't a statement that leaves itself open to interpretation.

Unfortunately, he's TOO honest.

[cursed_with_awesome]

Uh...at least...you're very...agile? I mean, you don't have all that stuff weighing you down, right?

A flaw he should work on.

[themistress]

I should take your cock off.

At least he's used to magical warriors trying to kill him.

[cursed_with_awesome]

Is there a spell that does that? That's awfully specific.

Ah, wait! My familiar Sara! Her chest isn't huge, but she's very cute! There's nothing wrong with it, it's all a matter of what you're comfortable with!

[themistress]

Of course there's a spell for that. Normally I just make a game of it, but your cock would probably do better buried under tundra.

Your frantic backpedaling is not appreciated.

[cursed_with_awesome]

You take things way too personally.

[themistress]

It was a personal backhanded compliment. How would you take it if I told you that you were cute for someone with such an obviously tiny and untalented penis?

[cursed_with_awesome]

...Why would I care about something blatantly untrue?

[themistress]

[There's some raucous (and derisive) laughter here.]

That's one thing he'll never have a lack of confidence in.

[cursed_with_awesome]

What's funny about that?

Mistress says that it's probably the Sex King's penis, and thus he has no right to be confident

[themistress]

Everything.

It's put forward in the manga that it probably IS Shadahl's influence.

[cursed_with_awesome]

How's that?

So there!

[themistress]

You can't even take sexual stimulation without turning into a whole different person, you said so yourself. I'm supposed to believe you're anything but inexperienced?

[cursed_with_awesome]

That's just it. I've been forced to have a lot of sex recently, for various reasons. It's not a sure-fire thing. I've never changed into Shadahl or anything, I'm just WARY of changing into him. I always know that sooner or later, it could happen.

Would you want to lose yourself?

[themistress]

It's not a risk for me.

[cursed_with_awesome]

Only because you don't have demon sleeping in you.

I think my mun kind of misses that castle.

[themistress]

She had someone there before?

[cursed_with_awesome]

He did, yeah. Had to cut back on RP fun for a short while, but then all the LJ trouble started. Only led to more dropping. Now with all the positivity and excitement of all these people, the old drive is coming back.

[themistress]

Well, excellent. Our entire castle just moved today.

[cursed_with_awesome]

That must be exhausting.

[themistress]

We were given time to prepare.

[cursed_with_awesome]

Well, at least that's something. In any case, I hope your conquest goes a little better.

[themistress]

I hope your... Sex King issue works out for you.