canon is Oglaf, game is paradisa

[themistress]

Look, girl. I know you thought it would be fun to bring me to that little castle of yours, but we have a few very serious problems to deal with. You had to have known that everyone there is just the worst, most boring kind of prude. How many virgins can exist in one castle anyway? I've only found a handful of people who are even vaguely interesting, but what's worse is that they're all rebelling. You told me that they'd lie back and accept my reign. Did you lie to me?

And I'm dreadfully alone. You haven't worked nearly hard enough on finding my Apprentice or the Xoan Ambassador -- you know they exist, but you haven't spent your time grabbing them by the collars and forcing them to attend to me.

Well? Oh, so now you have nothing to say to me. I might have known.

Comments

I love Oglaf xD

[tinfoil_angel]

If you want a community where you'll be "attended" to, the love hotel would be a better location.

It also requires no application so you could go in right now if you really wanted.

yay \o/

[themistress]

Ha ha. Cute, that you'd think my Apprentice and the Ambassador, of all people, would serve that purpose. No no, they're needed strictly for chaste entertainment. And costume-wearing.

Miracle of miracles, I've managed to fulfill that particular need in the place where I am now. Besides, I'm a ruler. I would never go someplace where applications weren't even required.

[tinfoil_angel]

Well I could of read your mind to find that out.

But quite frankly I don't know what is in your head from the bare minimum of things my mundane just told me about you.

[themistress]

It's probably for the best. After all, if you did something silly like read my mind, I'd have to kill you in the most painful way I could devise.

Maybe something involving a soup tureen and a sturgeon.

[tinfoil_angel]

Oh the issue there is, death isn't exactly a permanent thing for me.

You would also be helping me by doing that actually.

[themistress]

Oh, for fuck's sake, how boring. Fine, then you can just be winched up by your ankles and tortured. The point is don't read my mind.

[tinfoil_angel]

I wouldn't bother reading your mind like I said.

Though you wouldn't be able to keep me locked up either. I don't really appreciate the fact that you would try.

[themistress]

Well, maybe people wouldn't want to keep you locked up if you didn't talk about things like reading their mind. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you'd even try to argue that.

[tinfoil_angel]

Well honestly I don't exactly have a lot of patience for dictators. So I decided to make a joke at your expense and also my expense considering I block out my friend's telepathy just to avoid hearing about their crap sex lives.

My mundane just thinks it's funny that you're more or less the evil version of my friend Sirkka.

[themistress]

Your mundane should have told you about how I don't like jokes at my expense.

And I'm not an evil version of anyone.

[sarcasticpelican]

[with a small grin]My Mun has been eating ice cream and reading what you've been up to in there. Someone showed it to her earlier.

Thank you.
[Rolls her eyes as she adds]
The more time between be ending up where Im headed once this application is done and now the better.

[themistress]

Oh? And who might you be? You look similar to some wonderful friends I've made recently.

Oglaaaaf

[cursed_with_awesome]

I...really think that most people prefer democratic election processes. Leads to less violent uprising later on, historically. I don't think you can just declare yourself leader, automatically, and expect people to listen.

[sarcasticpelican]

I guess you can call me 479. [Like she's going to tell you her real name]

And really?
Who in particular have you made friends with? [I should probably mention the Canon is Red vs Blue, not Halo.]
I mean I'm sure my Mun knows but I'm left in the dark here.

I don't think Wash has actually revealed his name yet

[themistress]

Well, there was the tall one, of course, quite brisk. And then the "special ops" one, who says he's from a different village as the tall one, but really, I think their armor is too similar to be a coincidence. He was cold at first, but of course he warmed up eventually.

Those helmets really are quite bulky.

\o/

[themistress]

I have an entire kingdom that begs to differ.

Re: I don't think Wash has actually revealed his name yet

[sarcasticpelican]

[Tall and bulky armor....]

Was the tall one wearing white armor? Maybe with a yellow-domed Helmet?

Oh crap I forgot to write something here. And lol she can go by descriptions.

[sarcasticpelican]

Maybe his armor has brown patches?

[themistress]

Hmm, he was sort of greyish brown with a yellow circle around his neck. Yellow over his eyes.

[cursed_with_awesome]

Maybe they were just too lazy to tell you otherwise. You're not there anymore, are you?

By the way since you started replying Ive been reading Oglaf. Im loving this so much. XD

[sarcasticpelican]

[Guess it's not Maine after all.]
Oh. Maybe I don't know him.

What about the other one?

My cat says ".////////////" to you, but that's OOC so I deleted it

[themistress]

Too lazy, too survival-minded. It doesn't matter, really. We don't have a problem with uprisings.

This is why I'm glad my dog is too short to reach the keyboard.

[cursed_with_awesome]

What are you, some kinda' mage or something?

THE MORE PEOPLE WHO READ IT, THE BETTER

[themistress]

[Maine wasn't so keen on armor when they met. Also, recent canonbumps, yada yada. Secret: Mistress doesn't care about that stuff!]

Gray, with yellow on the shoulders and helmet. Very handsome, once he finally took that off.

[themistress]

Sorceress, actually.