canon is Oglaf, game is paradisa

[themistress]

Look, girl. I know you thought it would be fun to bring me to that little castle of yours, but we have a few very serious problems to deal with. You had to have known that everyone there is just the worst, most boring kind of prude. How many virgins can exist in one castle anyway? I've only found a handful of people who are even vaguely interesting, but what's worse is that they're all rebelling. You told me that they'd lie back and accept my reign. Did you lie to me?

And I'm dreadfully alone. You haven't worked nearly hard enough on finding my Apprentice or the Xoan Ambassador -- you know they exist, but you haven't spent your time grabbing them by the collars and forcing them to attend to me.

Well? Oh, so now you have nothing to say to me. I might have known.

Comments

[daughters_of_janus]

Oh that's fine. Give me a sec.

[She'd pull out a phone.]

Bertie sweetie? Could you get a lion over here ASAP? Just use that animalism thing and get the wildest one you can find and bring it here.

No, don't sedate it and slip into the club for a drink or two for your troubles on me, okay?

[Closing the phone she'd smile at Mistress.]

He'll be here with it soon. Here's a tip if you run into kindred, or you'd call them vampires; it always pays to be friends with a Nosferatu.

[themistress]

[Mistress is actually more interested in the phone than in anything Jeanette has to say.]

Vampires are largely innocuous in my world, although it's always wise to avoid sex with them. And they seem to be tamed, where I live now.

[daughters_of_janus]

Trust me, we're not incidental in our world. We're powerful, resourceful and basically rulers over the cities of the world.

[She smirked just a little.]

And I can tell you we're pretty good fucks. If you can find one who isn't a stuffy prude about it.

[themistress]

I don't have the time to hunt down the ones who aren't. Besides, I have more than enough people to fuck without adding vampires to the mix.

[daughters_of_janus]

You're looking at one right now and I'll tell you now that it's well worth changing up your sexual partners.