deletes him from my muselist tbh

[crownless]

I'm not gonna get on your ass again for this cold shoulder you've been giving me, 'cause we both know you're gonna do shit, but I got a proposition for you.

[......travis where are you going with this]

We both know I'm not gonna be quiet, and we both know you're gonna keep wanting to play me unless I do. So maybe we can strike a compromise? I noticed you've been buying a lot of video games with chicks in 'em lately. Like, real smokin' giant soldier ninja alien chicks and stuff. Now, I'm a simple guy, and I'm not asking for a whole lot, but can you at least... y'know... give a guy an in? Set up some intros with some alternate universe warrior princesses or that one demoness with the cute hair who feeds off sex or--

[TRAVIS.]

Hey! I'm makin' a deal with you here! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to shut me up!

Comments

[clobbered]

I wanna smash your balls until you shut up!

[ she heard silencing and she is an assassin after all, sylvia can even pay her for this ]

[crownless]

You can't say shit, I got needs! Go back to whatever dead boss fight hell you came from!

[fortemps]

[Travis you're so fucking thirsty even this motherfucker is bewildered

and he's the thirstiest motherfucker that ever did live????? OH my god what is going on?]

You.......Certainly know what you like, don't you? [Elf jesus help him he's almost speechless.]

[crownless]

There are sexy ninja girls at stake here.

[hes as serious as a heart attack hotpants]

[bamboozler]

What was that, what was that? Did you say a cute girl who feeds off of bamboo?

[guess who only hears what he wants to hear]

[crownless]

I'm pretty sure I never mentioned bamboo there. Like, at all.

[thats travis too, arent they two peas in a pod]

[seducingurmenz]

[ blink blink. one of those descriptions sound oddly like her. ]

Have you ever been to the Stray Sheep? You seem like the type.

fyi im laughing about this on plurk rn

[crownless]

[!!!!!!]

I'm kind of a busy dude, but maybe if you wanted to... [HE IS UTTERLY CLASSLESS AND LOOKING DOWN HER SHIRT RIGHT NOW] ...meet me there for a drink? Or something?

[chainattack]

...That's impressively desperate.

[utterly deadpan, sitting on a table or something look she needs to make up for the height.]

[crownless]

'Impressively desperate' is my middle name.

[that's not something to be proud of, travis.]

1/2

[bastgirl]

[Casually thinking about this for a moment.

Shut up, she's totally a game character. 2 games count.]

2/2

[bastgirl]

Sorry, you aren't my type. I prefer strong and confident to loud and desperate.

[littlesistershotgun]

I'm from a video game! It'll be perfect! We can go on our first date to a quiet but expensive restaurant, and when the waiter asks if we're there to celebrate something special, you'll take my hand and look me in the eye and say, "of course! I'm going to celebrate her every day of my life!" And I'll get embarrassed but I'll love it and we'll feed each other oysters, and at the end of the night you'll refuse to let me even peek into my purse, because a gentleman covers everything! Oohh, I'm so happy, I can't wait to tell all my friends.

[at least she has a huge rack.]

[crownless]

[it's travis touchdown's greatest fear: commitment.]

I-- uh--

[he stares 1) at the boobs, 2) at the determined!!! expression on her face, and 3) right back at the boobs

and decides that it's not worth it.] I gotta leave.

[voluptuous]

[crownless]

Come here often?

[1/2]

[ishotyouuu]

[...]

[2/2]

[ishotyouuu]

Heh. Guess it has been a while for you, eh Trav? Need a wingman? You probably need all the help you can get.

[Smile, though your heart is breaking~]

[kaihentai]

Listen.

[These are ironic words, coming from him:]

You need to stop talking.

[crownless]

[wtf]

It's a fair trade!

I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

[shhhhh_secret]

Hm. I was going to apply for ze position of ze obligatory Gay Option, but a little bird tells me zat someone named "Henry" already has ze spot.

[crownless]

[joke is on you monsieur the gay option is already here and it's actually not henry]

Nah, dude, no way! We're not going the creepy twincest route here, I've had enough of this soap opera shit for a life time!

[handsomefoil]

It's almost as if you want her to refuse your offer. Bored? Feeling trollish?

[crownless]

How cute is that? We have a freaky twin thing now.

[it's not cute. his voice is dripping enough sarcasm to make that clear enough.]

[whittling]

Good luck, pal. I went on this multiverse travelling adventure expecting beautiful bare breasted girls and I got squat.

[crownless]

...

How many universes. Please tell me there weren't that many. Please.

[skullfudgingmotherfunker]

"Giant soldier ninja alien chicks". You know, you've gone and gotten me curious now. Are there really women like that out there or are you just stringing random words together?

Also, just gonna step right in here and say that demonesses? Not good things to stick your stick in, good sir. Odds are low you'll be getting it back.

[crownless]

C'mon. Look at my face. You think a guy like me would lie to you?

[well, maybe.]

...and that's a risk I'm willing to take.

[juugo]

Are you seriously asking your mundane to pimp you out?

[Clearly this is appalling.]

[drunkaloid]

[Color her interested. She sleeps around, but not by choice.... with the media forms. Har har.]

You sound rather desperate. If you are too desperate no one is going to want to play with you, even for a little bit.

[moonlight_reaper]

Given the types of individuals you attract I wouldn't suggest putting out an open call to any powerful women from alternate universes.

Or would you like a repeat of Ms. Howell?