100% going to havenrpg

[webcast]

Oookay, lemme put this into perspective for you.

You go through all five stages of grief every time I scrape a knee, so methinks you oughta' give this idea a chance to settle in with the dust motes in that spacious noggin of yours.

You're like a kid with a brand new toy and I totally understand why you're excited, because—and we can both agree on this—I'm at least one thousand times cooler than Barbie. Except I'd rather be admitted to Ryker's than take my chances with the hair-shearing and the whole popping-off-heads bit. I like my head. It's a nice head.

Think about it? Pretty please?



... No?

You're halfway through the stage of denial already, aren't you. I hate you.

Look—I wasn't going to tell anyone about the booey Kleenex® on your night-table with my comics, and I'm sorry, but you're forcing my hand here. Uh, y'know, the ones right beside all those homework assignments you've been procrastinating on?

Yeah, those; I see those.

Comments

[kaihentai]

Wade-kun? What happened to your suit?

Did someone spray you with paint? Ahhh, you've gotten so thin since I last saw you.

[crownless]

Sakamoto, that's fucking Spider-man. There's a huge difference between the two of them: even I know that!

[kaihentai]

But you're an otaku. Of course you'd know! And besides, it is close to Halloween... Maybe it's a new costume!

[crownless]

Exactly. I'm an otaku: not a comic fanboy.

[my ~~mature japanese animes~~ because i have mature tastes]

Besides, Spidey's skinny! And his voice sounds different. You'd have to be frickin' deaf to mix the two of them up, even if the mask sorta looks the same... if you squint, anyway.

[dont talk shit about his waifu]

[webcast]

Oy...

I'm not that skinny.




[am i???]

[kaihentai]

Mm. You mentioned a huge difference.

[His mind is permanently in the gutter.]

I see. That's why Wade-kun is the one you're pining after.

[webcast]

Oh my god, did that afro just talk?!

[kaihentai]

[.......................]

Is my hair actually speaking? I can't hear it. How strange. What did it say?

[fortunefavored]

Sakamoto, no.

Dude, I can't believe you just mistook Spiderman for Wade. They're, like...totally different sizes! And their suits are different!

[kaihentai]

All this talk about size is making me uncomfortable.

[fortunefavored]

It's so obvious, though! Wade's, like...almost seven foot or something and Spidey's like...way closer to my height or something. I think.

[kaihentai]

Finally! A superhero who is shorter than me!

[webcast]

Thank you. Finally, a nerd up in here who understands what I've been talking about— no offence, it's a compliment now, for real.

I'm still strong, though.



—Okay, give it to me straight, stranger. Do... do they really think I'm that annoying...

[fortunefavored]

Hey, I will always take nerd as a compliment. As long as it's not linked to MRAs, I'm good.

Probably. Though even if they do, on the bright side, they're just as annoying as you are. So it kinda evens out. They're good people, though, once you get to know them.

And I'm Newt.

[webcast]

No MRAs here—anyone in the medical field has my profound respect, but I will stick to the... not-so-gory aspect of Science.

[a hand out for him to shake!]

I'm Spider-Man.

... You already knew that.



Uh, glad to be here?

[kaihentai]

You're not that annoying! All of the assholes on here are far worse than you could ever be. Take a seat! We're all champions of the Obnoxious Olympics.

You'll make friends through all the bullying. That's how we are.

[webcast]

Good lord, what have I wrought. Honestly, I thought I'd make a pretty innocuous passive-aggressive attack at my much-too-Mundane.

Thanks, I guess. All things considered, I'm ready to help out as best I can. "We'll be safe together," right?

[ishotyouuu]

[/walks in with pizza a few minutes later to find everything's on fire]

...the fuck just happened?

[kaihentai]

Someone's wearing your clothes but you have the better body.

[crownless]

That isn't what happened, dumbass!!

[kaihentai]

Oh, it isn't?

[There it goes, the derisive tongue click.]

Aren't you an amateur assassin, Travis? So quick to defend your senpai over some impostor. Trying to plead that you don't have a crush! Please.

The situation is anything but.

[ishotyouuu]

What? Dude, no-- that's Spiderman! Same colors, completely different character! We barely even interact most of the time, 'cept in crossovers. I mean, the little guy's spiderballs've barely dropped-- how the hell could you confuse me for him?

...and why does everything always come back to my ass with you people?!

[fortunefavored]

The same thing that happens every single fucking time we come here, Wade. What were you expecting?

[webcast]

[mutters...]

What is this, and episode of Pinky and the Brain?

[webcast]

You happened—you didn't have to lift a finger this time, either, so take pride in this travesty.