Because romance is dead.

[deadliestviper]

Sweetie. Let me make this perfectly clear, since you seem to have trouble grasping it.

The past is the past, and it ain't never happenin' again. Do you think I got this far by being stupid? Now I know Bill was one thing, you do too. But if I worked with O-Ren, Vernita, and Elle so long without anything besides well-deserved respect and hate developing, why would lust enter into it after they left me for dead? Why the fuck would I want to fuck anyone after the whole coma thing?

"Hate sex"? Please, bitch. My fucking and fighting days have gone the way of the Deadly Viper squad, I don't care who you're offering. Drop this bullshit; all I want to do is live what's left of my life in peace. So here's an idea: save your shipping and your lesbian fantasies for some other girl and let me find my daughter.

Comments

Because this idea strikes me as oh so funny...

[tree_puncher]

Ummm... What is this Sex thing that you hate?

[Why yes, there is a 1.7 meters tall block man asking you about the birds and the bees... What of it?]

Thank GOD Pai Mei isn't here.

[deadliestviper]

[What the hell? Beatrix is very, very difficult to surprise, but this just about does it. She must have fallen asleep playing video games with BB again.] That's barely on my radar anymore. Where'd you pop out from?

Mmm... I'll try to be on the look out then! P:

[tree_puncher]

Umm.... I come from the Realm of Minecraft. And you didn't really answer my question.

[deadliestviper]

Minecraft... I don't know that one. And as for your question, sorry but I think it's better left unanswered.

[tree_puncher]

Alright then...

[butisitzen]

[He says it slowly, mulling it over.]

"Live... what's left of my life... in peace." I like that.

[deadliestviper]

Easier said than done, huh?

[butisitzen]

Maybe. [Maybe more than he wants to admit]

Then again, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

[deadliestviper]

The problem is once you get started, how do you change course?

[butisitzen]

[He shrugs]

How about taking a step in another direction?

Did someone call for Chinese kung fu master? Anyone?

[sonofgoose]

...Deadly Viper Squad?

Hahaha, awesome!

[deadliestviper]

...Yes.

ngl, Po and the Bride threading at some point has been a very real DO WANT of mine haha

[sonofgoose]

So...you guys are ribbon dancers, then?

You're making me want to see this movie so bad now.

[deadliestviper]

[A blink, then a quick nod and smile.] That's exactly it. I'm surprised, most people don't guess that quickly.

[dielikeasamurai]

People like you and I will never know peace, Kiddo. Even if we deserved it, which we don't.

[deadliestviper]

You're god damn right about that.

Before we get too far, tell me: am I going to need this?

[dielikeasamurai]

[Lazy little smile.]

It's of no use here.

But keep it. We have better conversations like this.

[deadliestviper]

Speak your piece, O-Ren.

[the_urban_tiger]

... were you really called the "Deadly Viper Squad"?

[deadliestviper]

Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. You hadn't heard that?

[the_urban_tiger]

Apparently I missed that one. Sounds... [fucking stupid- pauses, apparently trying to put words to what he wants to say, and clearly fails] ... That was really your name?

[deadliestviper]

You got a problem with that?

[boomsticking]

You're singing the same tune I've been singing to mine for years, lady. Only these damn muns don't give a shit about what we want.

[deadliestviper]

Well, here's hoping yours at least has good taste in who they throw you at.

[boomsticking]

She's thinking about putting me in space. Friggin' space. Dunno how her mind works.