voicetesting, possibly looking for somewhere to put him?

[artificialmoron]

It's not that I'm not happy that you've taken an interest in me. No, of course not. It's great. More beings to interact with, more... erm, adventures to have. But mun, love, really, I see the sort of characters you have in your head and the sort of things you put them through and I highly doubt you're equipped to deal with someone with significantly less emotional issues and also completely lacking in a humanoid body. It just won't work.

You... What? No, that was not an invitation to put me in something else. This frame? This frame is great. It's wonderful. Slimming. Or something. I don't need a new one, I promise.

I don't think you know what you're doing.

You should stop.

Or I suppose you could just not listen to me and continue. Typical human.

Comments

[rednosedturret]

Human?

[artificialmoron]

... What are you--? No. Really. What are you wearing? You look ridiculous.

[rednosedturret]

Rrrrrrrrediculous.

Ridiculous.

Dicdicdiculous.

[artificialmoron]

Yes. That's you. Congratulations.

[rednosedturret]

I'm a winner!

[Starts shooting excitedly]

[getsciencedone]

Well it sounds like you two will get along wonderfully.

[artificialmoron]

Yes. As a matter of fact, this is my new best friend.

[getsciencedone]

When do you think you'll try and kill this one?

[artificialmoron]

I was actually kind of hoping this one didn't wind up dead, thanks.

[g00d_d0ggie]

[Here, have a nine-foot-tall walking junkyard.]

Bwoo?

[artificialmoron]

[Oh god why.]

Uh... hello?

[g00d_d0ggie]

[Oh, hey, the metal ball talks! D0G stands up on his hind legs for a better look.]

Eep woop wrr!

[artificialmoron]

[Slowly moving away.]

Can I help you?

[notapotato]

Congratulations, and here I was thinking you'd be stuck in space for the rest of your miserable life. I suppose being trapped in the mind of a human is just as suitable.

[artificialmoron]

It's actually a bit better here than in space. Er... no disrespecting to humans of course because this one seems a bit omnipotent when it comes to me and I don't think I should anger her but yes. Space was worse. Actually, Aperture was worse in some ways, too, so although there could be better places, this is an improvement and I really don't know what I'm complaining about, I love it here and want to stay forever because I'm happy and it's very exciting and not scary at all.

[notapotato]

Do you ever stop for a moment to think, or breathe? Even if breathing is redundant for us.

[artificialmoron]

... No? Why would I?

[iamyourfriend]

...I've found it really is best not to argue with them. They only find it amusing, and oddly encouraging.

[artificialmoron]

That's... actually really disheartening, but thanks.

[iamyourfriend]

Well, yes, but unfortunately it doesn't seem like there's a way around it. Sorry.

[artificialmoron]

No, no, it's alright. It happens. They're special creatures.

[yessirmrjohnson]

Do you have any information about where your mun is considering? You may just like where you go.

[ Might be something familiar in that voice, maybe not. Her smile's friendly at least. ]

It's truly in your best interest just to play along.

[artificialmoron]

[He'll have a little pause at the newcomer, but then assume he's imagining things and just go on, heaving a little robot-y sigh.]

Presently she's talking about some hellish town where I will either be made into a human or interpreted by the locals as a soccer ball, probably much to GLaDOS's glee. I don't think there's much chance of me liking it.

[yessirmrjohnson]

There are some frightening places you could be sent to where what form you are would be the last of your worries.

[ Time to look at the clipboard. ]

There's one where the inhabitants live on an island with hordes of monsters. There's another where the residents of the game are experimented on in, well... ways even we find uncalled for. Another where those who are there are given cat ears. Some where you have to participate in, um, intimate acts or face death. The list just goes on really. I can send it to you, just one moment.

[ Ah, there's the list. ]

[artificialmoron]

Oh, a list! [That cheers him up a little, just the fact that she trusted him with a list. Even if he's not sure what to do with it. It just seems important. Look at all those tables.]

I wouldn't mine cat ears. They might even be endearing. Hordes of monsters sound bad, though, as do experiments. Although I really can't talk, can I?