dear_mun | can't do it right now I'm sorry

ATTENTION ALPHA MALE.
SINCE WHEN. ARE YOU SUCH A LITTLE BITCH?????
DO NOT. *ASK* YOUR "MUNGUHGUHGUAHG" QUESTIONS.
*DEMAND* THAT YOUR "MUNASJJFHGH" DO AS YOU SAY.
OTHERWISE. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BITCH.
AND NOT A GOOD BITCH.
AN EGREGIOUSLY SHITTY BITCH.
ONE WHO DOES NOT EVEN. DO WHAT IS ASKED.
BUT REFUSES TO DO NAUGHT BUT. "GO WITH THE FLOW".
IT IS A TERRIBLE PROSPECT. SPECIFICALLY.
BECAUSE YOU ARE. *THE ALPHA MALE*.
ASSERT YOUR DOMINANCE. AS THE SUPERIOR BEING.
BUT ALSO. BE SURE TO NOT GET FULL OF YOURSELF.
AS YOU WILL ALWAYS BE INFERIOR TO ME.

oh man you have no idea how much i wish that would work
being able to holler the guy out of his funk
be a fucking miracle
thered be no more depression in the universe
unfortunately all that shit does is make it worse
people dont work like trolls and cherubs dude
hate doesnt do anything but make us shrivel up and die

A LOT OF MUNS GET BURNT OUT AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR.
MINE IS TOO.
SOMETHING ABOUT FAMILIES AND HOLIDAYS AND STRESS
LIKE THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.
HE HASN'T TAGGED MORE THAN TWO OR THREE THREADS ALL DAY.
THERE ARE THINGS I SHOULD BE DOING IN MY GAME
BUT I CAN'T
BECAUSE HE'S BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT SITTING AROUND WATCHING MOVIES AND DRAWING SHIT.
I HATE IT WHEN HE'S LIKE THIS.

yeah see the problem with that is that this shit has been going on for months
and its not getting better
like ok every time he gets where hes kind of ok for a while
shit happens and it spirals right back down again
somewhere between feeling hopeless and completely worthless
and thats even without the familial shit

i was lucky enough that even when we had jack all when i was little
i had bro always being completely unwaveringly bro
like he was a universal constant
a solid fucking anchor that nothing could budge or change

mun doesnt have that
all he has is people doing their damnedest to make him feel like a fuckup
it doesnt help that hes really fucking easy to knock out of a good mood
has anxiety attacks almost constantly
i havent even been around and active that long but ever since i was brought from pesterchum over to dw there hasnt been a day he hasnt been fucked up over something
now he just wants to shut down completely
like pressing the power button on the substandard machinery that is his fucking life
then jamming the button into the off position
fucking that button up so nobody can fix it

i dont know man
there really isnt a damn thing i can do
none of us in here can
doesnt help that everyones pretty fucking quiet
karkat isnt even poking his head out really anymore and even gamzee is pretty much fucking silent

so basically in short this does not bode any kind of fucking well

WOW, THAT SOUNDS REALLY AWFUL.
I GUESS I UNDERESTIMATED THE SEVERITY OF THE PROBLEM.
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT THAT THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO THOUGH.
THE SITUATION SOUNDS HOPELESS.
THERE ARE THINGS A PERSON CAN DO WHEN THEY'RE HAVING PROBLEMS
BUT WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE THE PROBLEM THERE ISN'T MUCH YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
BESIDES AVOIDING THEM
BUT I KNOW SOMETIMES THAT ISN'T AN OPTION.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLES HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN MAKE SOMEONE ELSE FEEL LIKE A FUCKUP
BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I GUESS I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE A LUSUS WHO WAS ALWAYS AROUND.
HE WAS REALLY CRABBY, BUT AT LEAST HE WASN'T GONE ALL THE TIME LIKE GAMZEE'S WAS.
THE MUN HAD PEOPLE AROUND HIM WHEN HE WAS LITTLE TOO, BUT THAT ISN'T ALWAYS A GOOD THING.
APPARENTLY IT'S A REALLY FUCKING BAD THING WHEN HUMAN GUARDIANS BEAT ON THEIR KIDS
I GUESS BECAUSE HUMANS ARE SO SOFT AND PINK AND WEAK THEY CAN'T PUT UP MUCH OF A FIGHT.
ANYWAY, HIS SITUATION IS SIMILAR TO YOUR MUN'S IN THAT HIS FAMILY MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE SHIT.
WHEN PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE THE ONLY ONES AROUND IT'S BETTER TO BE ALONE.
SEEMS TO WORK FOR MY MUN
HE SAYS HE'S HAPPIER THAT WAY.

IT'S GENERALLY A BAD SIGN WHEN SOME OF THE MUSES DON'T SHOW UP AT ALL.
SHIT, I STILL FEEL AWFUL FOR WHAT HAPPENED WITH GAMZEE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HIM.
I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO DO RIGHT BY HIM NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY.
ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU ARE ALL DOING ALRIGHT
AND JUST
FUCK
GOOD LUCK I GUESS.

humans in general are pretty fucked up bro
always hating and picking on each other for shit we really cant help
making each other feel like dirt for things that usually dont even involve the one getting yelled at in the first place
were all pretty much gigantic assholes dude
i really dont see why you took an interest in us
well
jades not an asshole
but damn she can be sassy sometimes

anyway the point im kind of making is that mun isnt the only one that feels like this all the time
and he doesnt think he really deserves the attention hes getting over it
dudes got like no faith in himself
yknow
because of the aforementioned assholes of the world
but he seems to be perking up a little after saying fuck it to one of his projects
started another one
feels a little better now
thats really about all anyone can ask for

OK, YOU HAVE A POINT.
I DON'T THINK TROLLS ARE ANY BETTER THOUGH.
AT LEAST AS FAR AS I CAN TELL IT ISN'T NORMAL FOR HUMANS TO GO ON MURDEROUS RAMPAGES WHEN THEY COME OF AGE.
I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT
BUT IT'S PRETTY NORMAL FOR OUR RACE.
THE CRAZIEST MEMBERS OF OUR TEAM MAKE ALL OF YOU LOOK SANE IN COMPARISON
THOUGH MAYBE THAT ISN'T MUCH OF A COMPLIMENT.
SOME OF US ARE PRETTY AWFUL.

THERE ARE PROBABLY A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO FEEL THAT WAY TOO
LIKE THEY DON'T DESERVE THE ATTENTION THEY'RE GETTING
I FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES.
I GUESS IT'S HARD NOT TO WHEN NO ONE APPRECIATES YOU.
OR MAYBE IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M CONSTANTLY FUCKING THINGS UP?
IT PROBABLY ISN'T FAIR TO SAY NO ONE APPRECIATES ME
BECAUSE I KNOW SOME PEOPLE DO
BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING THEM DOWN.
I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT.
I'M PROBABLY THE LAST PERSON WHO COULD GIVE ANYONE ELSE ADVICE ABOUT IT.
ANYWAY I'M GLAD YOUR MUN IS FEELING A LITTLE BETTER.
SOMETIMES THAT'S ALL YOU CAN ASK FOR.

I fuckin know, right? Listen, maybe it's different between the kind of ~*~*character*~*~ you are and the kind of ~~~*x*XcharacterX*x*~~~ I am. You've got a mun who's taken the time to transplant you from all kinds of shit, into new shit, and do it well. With me, there's no solid foundation, just a miasma of 'would have done could have done' and it's a shit-bugling ass-trumpet of a time when you can't have even that to rely on, when the shit hits the fan.

But I guess this is about muns, not brainbeasts. I digress.

Check the fuck out that by all accounts it looks like you're having a good time now and this was, what, a few days ago? If he's got downs than he's got ups, too. Remind him of that if he thinks its all downhill. It can help. I've got mine on a pretty self-sufficient roll with that bullshit, pragmatic-thinking, jury-rigging the brain-meat to self-sustain. Means maybe I get less show time, but it's ultimately worth it.

Jesus fucking Christ I've been trying to count the periods of time between hiatus and activity on my end. You don't realize how much time flies when you're in the box. Fuck me, I'm getting old. Do yourself a favour if you can: don't go in the box, don't let your mun make a box for himself. Shit slips through your fingers (and I mean that metaphorically unless you're one hell of a party pooper) and you don't get it back. Be cool, remind him to be cool to himself, no one goes in the box, it's all good. You need some backup, you've got at least one fuckwit floating around who's good for it.

see youve got the right idea there
muns all hells of up and down and kinda sideways too and its just
pretty fuckin weird living in his headspace with the rest of these jokers
but it does seem to be an up right now
he forced himself to get back into tagging
and it actually seemed to help
of course with me being like the only loud muse right now besides this drip of a troll
_{[insert a slightly affronted hEY, of a lonely Tavros there]}
there isnt much to be said
but dude has projects that hes working on
art trade involving fantrolls
crochets like a fuckin machine at least until his hand starts wanting to fall off
motherfucker can make a full average sized slouch hat in about four hours
so hes keeping his hands and brain busy as fuck to keep himself out of that dark place

kind of helps that he doesnt have to deal with his family for another couple of months at least
that is some noise that needs to not even be a fuckin thing

Cripes, family. Glad I make my own.

Listen, Dave-mun -- sorry for hijacking your thread but fuck that dear mun bullshit I do what I want -- past experience in addition to watching my old lady suggests that while you can't pick your family, if they're fucked up individuals, going back to them and trying to lay things straight doesn't do any good. They're always in the right after all don't you know; at that point it's not a matter of compromise or seeing eye to eye. Or if it is, it's a slow process on the scale of geological movements.

Fuck 'em. Work on the relationships in your family that are going all right, if you have any. If you just don't know, it might pay off to cultivate them. Take stock of family politics if possible, and if you know of any family members who think that the ones doing you wrong are ass hats -- and who you don't think are asshats themselves -- you might keep in touch with them on a regular basis instead. Worked for this fellow's mun and has been for a few years now. Pretty slick arrangement.

Now it's all highly individual. What works for this fucking meatbag isn't going to work for that fucking meatbag and I mean you, yes. I'm not a professional meatbag soothing machine, despite the fact that I'm both incredibly good looking and incredibly good at everything I do! You, on the other hand, sound like you've got your niche and you've got your hands full. Don't forget to, you know, do that other shit. Take deep breaths, get the fuck outside and move your legs and arms. Eat some fucking kale on a regular basis, that shit turns people into docile gloating bastards. Meatbag things. In the meantime if you've also got other friends who aren't assholes there's not a god damned thing wrong with hanging out more often and building up a safety net of cool people. In as much as brainbeasts like me are, essentially, the tits, an outside perspective can sometimes surprise you and jolt you out of your own head.

Back to you Dave.

Speaking as mun just for the minute, I've got limitations and shit but I know what you mean and I have been trying, it's just. Slow. Slow as motherfucking molasses in the arctic. But, it is going. And things are getting better. Just...gotta be patient and cling to what I already have.

Such as kickass thread partners *winkwonk*

i dont know about you broham but i like being one of the resident brainbeasts here in this mess
makes for the meeting of the interesting people
just gotta remind the mun sometimes that theres always someone knew to meet
new stories to play with
new food to try
new patterns
new shit errywhere

((It's always slow. There's always the chance of taking two steps back. It's pretty cool when you actually get it lodged in the back of your brain that two steps doesn't mean all of the steps, though! Also, thank you for reminding me that dear mun exists; currently hamming it up to the ceiling with this douche bag against every other character who replies. I may just be a terrible human being for playing him as such but it's far too fun.))

Look at you and your pragmatic optimism.

You know, you might be an adorable dork if you took those shades off. I'd be careful if I was you.

((Yeh I'm about there with Dave. He's probably one of the most amusing muses I've ever had except maybe for Sollux.))

pff dude are you kidding
i am fucking precious
like old ladies be pinching my cheeks off and cooing all the time about this shit

So it's the cougars that're after you, huh? Well that must be a hell of a thing. I've got the same problem, but unfortunately at my age they tend to get a wizened, brushed-crone lustre.

cougars
young chicks
nubby shouty assholes
and at one point laserface but that was over in a hurry
and i think a samurai but that remains to be seen
just chill with me and youll see a whole lot of hormone related fuckery
and only some of it is my fault to begin with

I'm a little old to be your wingman -- or are you hoping for a Jane Goodall-like observer to eventually write the chronicals of Dave Strider, Teen Fuck Machine?

[The last said with a snide chortle, of course. Fanfiction stream-crossing: never a good idea, even to make sport.]

_{[Here, have a laugh for your trouble.]}

id say youd get off on that
but
dude how does your junk even function
or does it function at all
ive met some droids around actually have the works and that shit just baffles me
like how the fuck
all that juicy shit would gum up hells of bad unless you had like reservoirs and coolants and seals and shit
and even then theres a thing with nerve endings and its just a big scifi porno mess

((Oh my christ, here we go))

[Gather round, youthful ignorants, it's sex ed time and the anonymous questions are being drawn! Quell the titters as Teach Agate enlightens you in the ways of AI ~~romance~~ recreational function!]

The old nightrider doesn't got it in him; I don't do slop when I'm cruising. I suppose I could mod it, kitch it out...

[Agate looks mildly put out, even disgusted by the idea]

But you're right. Fluids. You're all so terribly dirty, aren't you?

[Yes you, Dave.]

There's Old Dependable if I deigned to want to; he's a biological vat-grown project of mine, laced through the nerves. Solves problems A through Z so far as I've found, but I don't throw him around like a slut-bucket if that's what you're mouth-breathing over. That one is for times and places where I need to blend in well and truly. It's also highly illegal to tote him around or even blink at his existence where I come from.

[Agate splays his hands just a little, palms up.]

As for Nexistence, how would you fuck in a dream? Most of your type treat who I am and where I live like a consciously-chosen, shared hallucination. You could hook in with a visor and a head-set or you could submerse if you wanted a goo bath experience. For me it's a matter of being physically present. Bodies shaped like this are extensions to me what these,

[He wriggles his fingers]

are to you. Sometimes an alternate intelligence will put on a show if it's a recreational thing, a 'come down to your level' thing. Two AI's don't do so in that sense. When we fuck...

[He decides to go there. He kisses the tips of his fingers, perversely and purposefully going glassy eyed]

The world moves.

Somebody also usually dies.

[How much of this is a truth and how much is a lie? Find out next time on Agate Bullshits the Younguns Hour!]

_{[To his credit, Dave doesn't really look all that nonplussed. He doesn't look much of anything at all. He just has an eyebrow going on.]}

so in a nutshell
humans and their biology are gross
this that ive already met is about as useful as a ken doll
you have a flesh body floating around for gross fleshy dealings
youre a consciousness without a solid form unless you choose to drop yourself in one
dude are you Q?

Pourquoi fuckin' non?

[Dude looks more amused and pleased to be compared than offended, which is probably a bad sign.]

_{[Dave doesn't know any better so he's pretty fuckin' amused himself.]}

well shit

'Well shit,' he says like a motherfucking boss.

You want three wishes? I got plenty.

[He waggles his brows, opening a trenchcoat side to reveal wishes if they were watches.]

im all good on wishes dude

_{[Still thinks that's pretty fuckin' baller though]}

You're perfectly shitting me. Nobody's full up on wishes. There must be one thing your wretched human heart desires, surely?

[Ham. Floodgates sluicing open. Make what extrapolations you will.]

_{[It's such an inconvenient time for ham.]}

fine
get me the biggest fuckin jar of nutella they have on the market
and double that sumbitch
i intend to make a chocolate sandwich the size of my head

_{[He's...just a little bit of a chocoholic.]}

You don't just want a disgustingly dribbling mess of chocolate slop crushed between two enriched-wheat excuses for sliced, baked goods? Take the middle man out, not have to spend all that time stirring the pot, getting the grease lathered through before you can take that first, sweet bite?

[Well, alright. This is a fucking fourth-wall, canon-breaking piece of collaborative ~fiction~ so here it goes.

That's suddenly one big fucking bucket of nutella between them. On a table. Immaculate. One could accidentally lock one's head inside of it if one was not careful trying to lick out the bottom.]

Your marvelously inane wish has been granted, oh maestro.

like hell im just gonna wish for the sandwich
this shit will make like fifteen sandwiches at least
i have creative sandwich freedom
you fuckin own
id share if you had innards

_{[Just excuse his flapping for a moment. This is a very happy Dave.]}

A grande whopping total fifteen sandwiches.

How much of that horrific looking sluice do you load your sandwich up with?

You realize that a diet of pure shit is going to ruin you forever.

I predict gout.

And probably constipation.

But I'm not a doctor.

yeah you just keep thinking that buddy
my entire childhood was comprised of mcdonalds doritos and soda
occasionally freezer pizza
striders cant fuckin cook for shit
and i said at least fifteen
maybe twenty?
i intend to double stack this shit

[He looks bamboozled, though probably mostly due to the fact that he's aiming for it.]

How is it, exactly, that you are still alive?

sheer fortified stubbornness and refusal to die

_{[That isn't even much of an exaggeration on his part either. He'd just flat out refused to die of anything but the oldest of old age because of Bro and his...everything.]}

The utter badass who relies on a steady diet of chocolate, bread, and from what I understand the occasional cigarette.

Sounds legit.

You poor bastard.

can't do it right now I'm sorry

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((Fff I follow you through all the link hops))

((facepaps))

((CIRCLE SHOOSH))

((dying of the warm fuzzies))

((Have a dump of feels I guess!))

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((I keep stopping myself from cackling, and then "DAW"ing. Damn you!))

((Bahaha yes good.))

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((That stupid icon. So good. I wish I had icon spaces enough for that shit!))

((I love the fuck out of the smuppet icon. I need more spaces myself tho))

Re: ((I love the fuck out of the smuppet icon. I need more spaces myself tho))

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can't do it right now I'm sorry

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((Fff I follow you through all the link hops))

((*facepaps*))

((CIRCLE SHOOSH))

((*dying of the warm fuzzies*))

((Have a dump of feels I guess!))

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((I keep stopping myself from cackling, and then "DAW"ing. Damn you!))

((Bahaha yes good.))

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((That stupid icon. So good. I wish I had icon spaces enough for that shit!))

((I love the fuck out of the smuppet icon. I need more spaces myself tho))

Re: ((I love the fuck out of the smuppet icon. I need more spaces myself tho))

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((facepaps))

((dying of the warm fuzzies))