accidental cannibal

[infomodder]

Look, I'm flattered you're suddenly all gung ho about wanting to do something with me. Honored, even. You know me, all I've ever wanted was for someone to take an extreme interest in me in every capacity and want to shove me in all sorts of horrible situations. This is all I ever wanted, no doubt about it.

[well done on your design there buddy]

But do you really have to get so hung up over Sigyn chooses only the most humanitarian for her House? There's one for murder investigators and you can't get over humanitarian? I mean, sure, I'm—no, I'm not going to talk about myself. There's other ones. There's better ones.

It's not my fault the dog god doesn't have his own House. It's probably better that way.

Comments

[guestlectures]

You'd be the poster boy for the Dog God house.

[infomodder]

Apparently he's actually a wolf? Or something like that. There's probably a dog god, though. Egypt was all over the gods with animal heads.

[guestlectures]

How do you think you'd cope with them adopting you for a change?

[infomodder]

It could be worse, but...he doesn't have a House. She wishes he did because then it would be an easier decision.

Stray in a strange land, that would be me. So if there was, then yeah. I'd be kind of okay with it. As long as I don't have to wear a collar or anything.

[guestlectures]

[Personally (and all cannibal jokes aside) Alana feels Humanitarian is an excellent choice for Will.



And because she is a terrible person, she can't help herself.] Not a fan of collars? Good to know...

[infomodder]

[It's either "good people who like to help people, even strangers" or "dealing with death and gloomy and also there's some murderers here too someone help Will Graham"

his summaries, of course

minus the last four words he doesn't need help anymore THANK YOU HANNIBAL!]

Maybe it couldn't be so bad. I'd be aware of it all the time. It might help me stay grounded so I don't do anything overly embarrassing to feel stable and then drive an hour in the snow to Doctor Lecter's and get all—

—embarrassed again.

[guestlectures]

[He needs actual help help not Hannibal help
Hannibal help is the opposite of help.]

It's okay to be unstable sometimes, you know. You have friends who'll be there for you if you ask. [She'll refrain from talking about ways to stay grounded, because that's Hannibal's job.]

[infomodder]

[IF ONLY POOR MIRIAM COULD TALK WITHOUT BEING DEAD AND SPEWING BEER OUT OF HER EVERY ORIFICE HUH]

Okay? It's okay? You didn't seem so okay with it before.

[look he does not have to be 100% stable just for cuddles he can respect boundaries

alana respects his

why would he refuse to do the same to her?]

Crap. I'm sorry, that—that came out all wrong. Badly. I. Should be quiet about that now.

[guestlectures]

[TOO. SOON. ;A;


The outburst makes her pause. She's aware that this is unstable ground between the two of them, a balancing act between what is wanted and what is for the best.]

I can be your friend without- [Pause, slight blush. Let's start that again.]

I offered to be a buffer for you and Jack before, and you said you'd be okay with that. While what I said before is true, as your friend I will be there for you if you would like me to be. Whatever state you're in.

[infomodder]

I am okay with that. You as a buffer, that's. I like it. I appreciate it.

[More than he can say, really. He's not about to gush. Sometimes he can be too awkward. That could just make it worse.]

And yeah, you can. We can just be friends. That's. That's not a problem, promise. I didn't mean to—that was out of line. I apologize.

[One day

he'll be stable














and also in the home for broken ponies

shit]

[guestlectures]

Apology accepted.

[And if Will needs to work on stability, Alana really needs to work on getting out of her own head. In the past she's always been sure to keep potential intimate relationships restricted to men who are extremely... safe. Currently Will Graham is dangerous flirting with unsafe, and she's trying very hard to keep from analyzing.]

And I'm sorry for any confusion on my part.

[Shhh don't ruin my fantasy AU where everything is going end well and and no one else dies and Chilton and Hannibal get to spend a lot of time together in the Broken Pony home while Will adopts all the dogs and just has all the cuddles in front of a space heater the end

;A; i believe]

[infomodder]

[WOW WAKE UP THAT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN THE REALITY IS TERRIBLE so how about that alana beer reserveTM]

It's not you, it's me.

[wait that makes him sound even worse]

I mean, being confused. You're not—I'm just really confused recently. It's nothing you've done or not done.

[guestlectures]

[/NOPE.JPEG why would you mention that]

Confused about what? [She's aware that in asking she's straying into territory that Hannibal really should be dealing with. But she can listen.]

[infomodder]

[MIRIAM BEERIAM ALL FOR ALANA

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE HIS FAVORITE

GOOD?

WILL'S NOT JEALOUS AT ALL]

Just. Stuff that's going on. At work. [Losing time.] Trying to catch the Ripper and all. He's gotten better, if that makes...which is sad. Better at killing and covering it up. I'm just confused about how he's doing it and thinking about it and it's just...confusing.

[don't go into the lecter house alana]

[guestlectures]

[WOW W O W don't be jealous she has just known channibal for a million years and they are best buds Will how rude of you

one day hannibal will make you your own beer okay. maybe it will be alana flavoured because he loves you so much]

Does Jack know? [Because as far as she's aware Jack tends to think of Will as a magical wind-up toy which you can set loose of crime scenes as a magical way to find the perp without doing any police work.]

[infomodder]

[and then will is suddenly allergic to alcohol when chilton brings him some to get on his good side and he's like what this is not in your dietary restrictions and will is like IT IS NOW

and tears

so many tears

tears on his pillow with all that sweat

very sad much pillow wetness]

Does Jack know what? [grr jack grr GUESS WHO DECIDED ON WILL'S CANON POINT woo] About the Ripper? I think so. He's there with me and the team when we talk about him. I'm sure Doctor Lecter fills him in about everything else.

[HISS SPIT SNARL DOCTOR LECTER whattaguy]

[guestlectures]

[    wow
    such sad
                   much upset
          poor will
               someone help?
   maybe hannibal]

Does Jack know you're this confused about the case?

[wow going to ignore that rude attitude towards Hannibal.]

[infomodder]

[no
NO?



N
O]

Jack's kind of busy at the moment. I'm sure you know he has some problems at home to deal with. He doesn't need me on top of that.

[wow why didn't bella and will get married they can just keep secrets from jack forever and sleep in separate beds]

[guestlectures]

There's a lot of things Jack doesn't need, and if he's not able to cope with them all, then he needs to take a break. You aren't responsible for his state of mind, just your own.

[????!? idk but it makes sense i will draft a letter to bryan fuller right now telling him to rewrite s1]

[infomodder]

I think it's time Jack took a break, in all honesty.

[Not that he could ever tell him as much, of course. He'd promised himself as bedrock. And when the tidal of wave of choosing between him and what he knew Will was—Will not being a serial killer, how could he not know that?—and the safe security blanket Hannibal provided for him. Well.

That stung. The years he'd known Jack. Done for him what needed to be done. Listened to him and tried his best for him, all washed away by the torrential storm that Hannibal Lecter turned out to be.]

You say that, but Jack seems to feel some sort of responsibility for mine, even if it's to give him some peace of mind to sleep. Why else bring in someone to psychoanalyze me? To keep going to sessions even after I'd been stamped red and stable?

[All a part of his design, Will fears. And boy, Will does know fear.]

[guestlectures]

What Jack feels responsibility for is his job; which is catching killers. You help him do that, so he's trying to make sure you're stable.

[There is a lot more she could say about Jack, but Will doesn't need to hear it. The fact that Jack is likely to push Will until he seriously cracks, for example.]

Jack sees the world in terms of people who can help him get the job done, and people who can't. The end, to him, will always justify the means.

[infomodder]

Jack sees the world at it's very worst, Alana. He can't help it all on its own. When it comes to saving human lives...I think that's the one time when the ends really, really do justify the means.

[Why else would Will keep doing it after all the trouble it caused him? All those sleepless night, waking up alarmed and frightened and covered in sweat? Why would he do it at all if he didn't think that his stability being compromised was the least of his worries?

Then again, there would always be deranged people. Always. He couldn't stop that.]

And when you say that, it sounds like you've got a bit more to say about him than you'd want to verbalize.

[guestlectures]

Jack's very aware of the concerns I have with the way he works. If anything new comes up, I'll tell him, don't worry.

[At the moment half her concerns involve you, so you'll excuse her not going further into it. The other half involve Abigail.]

A lot of people use the excuse that their cause justifies whatever actions they took to meet it. In theory that sounds fine, but in reality it means a lot of people get hurt along the way who didn't need to.

[infomodder]

What are you trying to imply? That I won't be stable as long as I'm working for Jack?

[HIS PSYCHE ISN'T BEING ABUSED



only it is

by everyone, even him]

If I quit, I'll still be teaching. And we'll run into each other. And I'll know that he's got bodies he wouldn't have if I was still working with him. Don't you think that would do more damage to everyone involved than any good? Unless you're just implying I should quit everything at Quantico.

[guestlectures]

Do you think you'll be stable while you're working for Jack? No- don't answer that.

[That's not a question she wants to ask of him.]

What I'm saying is- the work you're doing with Jack is saving lives, no one is denying that. But you've said yourself it's making you... confused. [And that is causing people to be worried about you, Will. She's sure Hannibal would agree with her.]