canon is the arkham games | counting down the days, kiddies.

[prettyfunny]

Ladies and gentleman, boils and germs, look who's finally decided to grace us with her presence!

Oh, don't go feeling sorry for yourself, kiddo. Nobody's missed you like your dear Uncle Joker! Remember all the fun we used to have together? Blowing up hospitals, kidnapping baby birdies, and really stickin' it to our dear old Batbrain. Ah. Memories.

So, how's about it, huh? Let's get the band back together!

Comments

hope you don't mind a tiny bit of fourth-walling

[freakame]

[Gee, that voice sure is familiar, but Freak just can't quite place it...

OH, HE KNOWS!]

LARRY, right? From the network Christmas party? Dressed up like an elf and danced with the water cooler? [He snaps his fingers and grins. YEP, that's totally it.] I haven't seen you since '97, how's the kids? Good? Good. Glad to hear it. Shame about the dog, can't stay to chat, busy busy busy, you know how it is--

[You're the least busy, Freak, you don't even have a network anymore. :| ]

not at all!

[prettyfunny]

What can I say? Hard to tell, I know! Lost a few pounds, not to mention a few kids — had a bit of work done. I'm living the dream here, man! [ He holds his arms out wide. If anyone knows how to play this game, it's our Joker.

After a moment, or perhaps even two, his hands fall and he looks, dare we say, suspicious. ] Now, hold it there, chum: Anyone who's anyone knows that I, myself, am deathly allergic to dogs.

Who do you think you're fooling? Heh. You some kinda wise guy?

[freakame]

Wise guy? Wise guy? [He scratches his head, pulls a marker out of nowhere cartoon logic, what can you do and draws a pair of eyeballs on his hand. Handman, Joker. Joker, Handman.] Sorry, one second, I gotta confer with my sidekick--

[Stage whispering.] Handman, am I a wise guy? [His voice raises in pitch.] Sure are, Freakazee. Wisest guy I know! [Annnnd back to normal--] It's Freakazoid.

Freakabee!

Freakazoid.

Freeballoo?

[Somebody stop him, this can go on for days.]

[halftheman]

Are you really sure you want to come back to this mess? [ oh wait it's you of course you will ]

[prettyfunny]

Oh, the old familiar faces. Chins up, Harv — just because you weren't invited to this little hootenanny doesn't mean you have to spoil the fun for the rest of us! [ He clasps a hand on Harvey's shoulder. Don't be such a killjoy, old buddy, old pal(s). ]

[halftheman]

[ Eyes on the hand, Harv just goes still. ]

Remove it or lose it at the shoulder, clown.

[gothams_whiteknight]

[Why you of all people?]

The city doesn't need scum like you polluting it's streets. We will stop you.

[prettyfunny]

Oh, please. Haven't you heard the news? I recycle. Heh!

[gothams_whiteknight]

You are trash, so it doesn't count. Last time I looked, there is a nice cell waiting for you in County. The jokes at an end.

[offhand]

Jesus. When you fell out of the crazy tree, you hit every branch on the way down, didn't you. [ nnnnot really a question. ]

[prettyfunny]

Who, me? [ He waves a hand, then presses it to the lapels of his jacket. ] No, no, no, see, I climbed my way down. And lemme tell ya, it was no picnic.

[ He puts a hand to the side of his face and finishes with a stage whisper: ] I'm e'scared'a heights.

[omgitsdeadpool]

You have a band?! I'm in!

[How is that the only part you heard?!]

Shut it, bracket text! I always wanted to be in a clown band.

[prettyfunny]

Then grab a shiny red nose and a bass guitar, buddyboy! Last one to auditions sells the t-shirts!

[wallcrawler]

Greeeat, another purple-suited nutjob.

Like I don't already have enough of that in my life.

[prettyfunny]

And look who's flown in, all the way from bedtime. It's everyone's favorite arachnid, Webhead! —Lighten up, kiddo. Purple's the new black.

[theangerinside]

The Joker. Funny. I think my lesser half was almost scared of you.

[prettyfunny]

Almost?! What's a clown gotta do to strike terror into the hearts of you kooky Kryptonians?

[crofty]

[Blowing up hospitals and kidnapping baby birdies?]

That's not right.

[prettyfunny]

Right? Right?! Well, I did always fancy myself as more of a leftie. [ All of his left fingers wiggle. Howdy do, Indiana Hotpants. ]

[brazenly]

[ ......... ]

You're looking pretty spry.

[prettyfunny]

Well, well, well — if it isn't our Lady of Perpetual Furballs. No need to sound so glum about it, pussycat. You think you're the only one around here with nine lives? Tut tut.

she hates her mun so much right now

[rattlethecages]

You should be put away.

[Rachel's stiff and guarded, but she's still just going to glare at you, Joker.]

Behind bars would be ideal, but I can't say I'd exactly be against eternal darkness at the back of someone's mind.

don't fight it, Racheypoo.

[prettyfunny]

Hey! Speaking of eternal darkness, toots: how's about that afterlife! They treatin' ya well? Fluffing your pillows, I'm sure. Well-to-Dos like you are always getting special treatment.

[darknessiknow]

[An airy, creepy voice echoes from above you, but the owner is unseen.] It is a shame to see such dredges being brought out.

[prettyfunny]

[ The Joker puts his hands on his hips, looking dramatically high and low. ] Dad?! Is that you? You've finally come home. Mommy's been worrying herself sick to death!