canon is the arkham games | counting down the days, kiddies.

[prettyfunny]

Ladies and gentleman, boils and germs, look who's finally decided to grace us with her presence!

Oh, don't go feeling sorry for yourself, kiddo. Nobody's missed you like your dear Uncle Joker! Remember all the fun we used to have together? Blowing up hospitals, kidnapping baby birdies, and really stickin' it to our dear old Batbrain. Ah. Memories.

So, how's about it, huh? Let's get the band back together!

Comments

hope you don't mind a tiny bit of fourth-walling

[freakame]

[Gee, that voice sure is familiar, but Freak just can't quite place it...

OH, HE KNOWS!]

LARRY, right? From the network Christmas party? Dressed up like an elf and danced with the water cooler? [He snaps his fingers and grins. YEP, that's totally it.] I haven't seen you since '97, how's the kids? Good? Good. Glad to hear it. Shame about the dog, can't stay to chat, busy busy busy, you know how it is--

[You're the least busy, Freak, you don't even have a network anymore. :| ]

[halftheman]

Are you really sure you want to come back to this mess? [ oh wait it's you of course you will ]

[gothams_whiteknight]

[Why you of all people?]

The city doesn't need scum like you polluting it's streets. We will stop you.

[offhand]

Jesus. When you fell out of the crazy tree, you hit every branch on the way down, didn't you. [ nnnnot really a question. ]

[omgitsdeadpool]

You have a band?! I'm in!

[How is that the only part you heard?!]

Shut it, bracket text! I always wanted to be in a clown band.

[wallcrawler]

Greeeat, another purple-suited nutjob.

Like I don't already have enough of that in my life.

not at all!

[prettyfunny]

What can I say? Hard to tell, I know! Lost a few pounds, not to mention a few kids — had a bit of work done. I'm living the dream here, man! [ He holds his arms out wide. If anyone knows how to play this game, it's our Joker.

After a moment, or perhaps even two, his hands fall and he looks, dare we say, suspicious. ] Now, hold it there, chum: Anyone who's anyone knows that I, myself, am deathly allergic to dogs.

Who do you think you're fooling? Heh. You some kinda wise guy?

[prettyfunny]

Oh, the old familiar faces. Chins up, Harv — just because you weren't invited to this little hootenanny doesn't mean you have to spoil the fun for the rest of us! [ He clasps a hand on Harvey's shoulder. Don't be such a killjoy, old buddy, old pal(s). ]

[halftheman]

[ Eyes on the hand, Harv just goes still. ]

Remove it or lose it at the shoulder, clown.

[prettyfunny]

Oh, please. Haven't you heard the news? I recycle. Heh!

[theangerinside]

The Joker. Funny. I think my lesser half was almost scared of you.

[prettyfunny]

Who, me? [ He waves a hand, then presses it to the lapels of his jacket. ] No, no, no, see, I climbed my way down. And lemme tell ya, it was no picnic.

[ He puts a hand to the side of his face and finishes with a stage whisper: ] I'm e'scared'a heights.

[prettyfunny]

Then grab a shiny red nose and a bass guitar, buddyboy! Last one to auditions sells the t-shirts!

[prettyfunny]

And look who's flown in, all the way from bedtime. It's everyone's favorite arachnid, Webhead! —Lighten up, kiddo. Purple's the new black.

[prettyfunny]

Almost?! What's a clown gotta do to strike terror into the hearts of you kooky Kryptonians?

[theangerinside]

Being an actual threat might help.

[prettyfunny]

[ He raises his hand, wiggling each of his fingers. I'm not touching you~ ]

Oh, now, Harvey, don't be like that. Nobody likes a gruesome twosome. Besides! You'll get frown lines. Imagine it. Double the spa treatment!

[prettyfunny]

Ooh! This one's feisty. Go on, give us another.

[theangerinside]

Sorry. I'm a little busy taking over the world. But I'll get back to you eventually.

[prettyfunny]

Well, you're no fun. I liked you better when your skort was blue.

[theangerinside]

That's because she didn't know how to play for keeps.

[halftheman]

Your concern for my dashing good looks is noted, freak. But in two weeks, we all know what happens: a prequel game to keep the fans busy while they finish up the game you're currently dead in.

[ Harvey you got your ass kicked by Catwoman; you may have survived by you have nothing to brag about. ]

[prettyfunny]

And here I thought green was only widdle Eddie's color! [ Joker clasps his hands, putting them to his cheek. ] Not feeling a little down in the dumps because our fifteen minutes are all over, are we? You know you're still our forever gal, Twofer baby.

[prettyfunny]

You keep talking, but all I hear is 'blah blah blah, mommy, I'm a big girl now!'

[halftheman]

[ The grinding of Harvey's molars is audible-- and on one side, visible. ]

We'll outlast you. We always do.