On now being homeless, as well as new muses

[cancercarcino]

SO YOU FINALLY GOT UP OFF OF YOUR ASS AND DECIDED TO MOVE ME OFF THE SHIP.
CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING, CONSIDERING YOU BARELY HAD ME DOING ANYTHING THERE.
I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO JUST SHIP ME OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE RIGHT AWAY, THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL YOU'RE GOING TO LET ME SIT AROUND AND ROT.
I HOPE WHEREVER YOU DECIDE TO SHIP ME OFF TO HAS MORE FOR ME TO ACTUALLY DO.
DON'T THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE I SPENT GOD KNOWS HOW FUCKING LONG OUT IN SPACE DOESN'T MEAN I ENJOYED LOUNGING AROUND ON A SPACE SHIP FONDLING MY HORNS LIKE SOME FAT, LAZY HIGHBLOOD.
OKAY, MAYBE I DID ENJOY LIVING IN A PLACE WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE TO FEAR FOR MY LIFE EVERY WAKING MOMENT, BUT I'M GOING TO GET RUSTY IF YOU KEEP CODDLING ME LIKE A WIGGLER.
I WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE WITH SOME ACTION!

OH, AND DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU PRACTICING THAT QUIRK AND THINKING ABOUT CAT PUNS.
YOU ALREADY HAVE THE DOUCHENOZZLE WITH THE CAT MASK HERE, WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANOTHER CAT-OBSESSED DUNKASS HERE ANYWAY?
AND DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AWKWARD THAT WOULD BE FOR ME??
UGH...
IF YOU DO DECIDE TO BRING HER AROUND JUST MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GO TO THE SAME PLACE I DO, IT'LL BE AWKWARD ENOUGH HAVING TO SHARE THE SAME THINKPAN SPACE AS HER.

Comments

[neverlied]

Is that right? Amazing how we've never discovered your kind, but we've located your created universe and its single living entities. [That explained why humans were emotional creatures. His kind would help greatly.]

I understand custodian and guardian and comprehend they rear you in a way similar to the human parents. Do you stay with them to a certain age as well?

[cancercarcino]

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT??
THAT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ANY SENSE IF YOU DON'T EXPLAIN YOURSELF, DIMWIT.

I DUNNO, SORT OF.
SOME TROLLS WOULD STAY WITH THEIR LUSUS FOR A LONG TIME, THOUGH MOST LEFT THEM WHEN THEY WERE AN ADULT.
UNLESS THEY WERE A KICKASS LUSUS IN WHICH CASE YOU COULD PROBABLY GET AWAY WITH TRAINING IT INTO ADULTHOOD, BUT WHO ACTUALLY HAS THAT MUCH TIME AND PATIENCE?

[neverlied]

You haven't asked so I haven't answered.

I see. [A lack of patience...] ... The one who somehow presides control over me says I would've liked your universe. Humans are good, but I have a feeling your race - as their creators - would have been much more suited.

[cancercarcino]

FINE, I'LL INDULGE IN YOUR STUPID GAMES. WHAT THE FESTERING SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MORE SUITED FOR WHAT?

[neverlied]

The expansion of the universe will eventually lead to its death. We've discovered how to obtain the energy to sufficiently combat entropy and perpetuate its existence.

Fighting. I form contracts with beings like you.

[cancercarcino]

...WHAT?
THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD MY AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS ASSAULTED BY, AND BELIEVE ME I'VE HEARD A LOT OF CRAZY STUPID SHIT.

CONTRACTS?

[neverlied]

Is it really so ridiculous to understand that some point in the future, the universe will expand to a point its energy declines to a point it can no longer sustain outward motion? Planets will be out of the reach of stars for life to grow or trapped within gravitational poles that turns it into a boiling rock incapable of supporting any creatures. All stars too will go out one by one and new ones can't be formed without energy. If it isn't destroyed and rewritten by another event beforehand, all universes threaten to die eventually.

Yes. One wish is all it takes.

[cancercarcino]

WAIT, THAT SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A SGRUB SESSION...

WHY THE HELL WOULD I MAKE SOME WISH TO A DEFORMED LUSUS WANNABE?

[neverlied]

What is sGrub?

It's one wish for anything and in exchange, you'll be granted powers to fight the evil behind the chaos in your world.

[cancercarcino]

IT'S A GAME WHERE YOU DESTROY ONE UNIVERSE AND MAKE ANOTHER.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOAD OF SHIT TO ME.

[neverlied]

That would be one way to stall heat death.

It's the truth. Otherwise, there would be other conditions for the contract.

[cancercarcino]

THAT... DOESN'T REALLY SOUND LIKE IT MAKES SENSE, BUT WHATEVER, I STOPPED QUESTIONING THIS SHIT AGES AGO.

SO I COULD WISH TO BE TURNED INTO A CHOLERBEAR AND YOU COULD DO THAT?

[neverlied]

[Ear flick.] Strange. You should question everything.

If that's what you want. [The long appendages that seem to come from its ears rise.]

[cancercarcino]

EVERY TIME I DO IT HURTS MY THINK PAN.

[He leans back a bit.]

WOAH, HEY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??

[neverlied]

It could be too much stimulus for one being.

[Kyubey's ear tendrils hover]

It was an example, but do you have a wish worth making a contract?

[cancercarcino]

NO, I DON'T WANT TO TURN INTO A CHOLERBEAR!
SWEET SHIT ON A STICK, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT THINK PAN WOULD MAKE A WISH LIKE THAT??

[neverlied]

It isn't a normal wish I hear, but there's the occasional abnormality.

[cancercarcino]

WELL I'M NOT WISHING TO BE TRANSFORMED INTO A CHOLERBEAR.
OR ANY ANIMAL FOR THAT MATTER.

[neverlied]

What is it that you want then?

[cancercarcino]

WH--
NO, I'M NOT MAKING ANY WISHES WITH YOU, MY MUN IS TELLING ME HOW BAD OF AN IDEA THAT IS.

[neverlied]

Is that so?

[Why would you do that Mun? It would be so much fun... seeing your troll as a Magical Troll. Maybe you would like to take his place...]

[cancercarcino]

[Aha, hahahaaaa. No, Kyubei. Sorry, this mun's not wishing for anything so badly that she'd want to take up a contract.]

YES THAT'S SO.
SHE KNOWS WHAT IT IS YOU TURN HUMANS INTO, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'D BE STUPID ENOUGH TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THAT?

[neverlied]

[It's not as though you'd become one of these 'Witches' Homura keeps mentioning.]

All living creatures on this planet and yours have the potential to become demons. It's the opportunity to fight back I grant.

[cancercarcino]

[Still not liking the notion that one day I might just vanish there.]

WHAT IF I CAN FIGHT BACK WELL ENOUGH ON MY OWN?

[neverlied]

[Is it so terrible?]

The demons that rise from your species will be much stronger than the ones among humans.