help, require voicetesting so bad

[theimp]

Surely you don't propose flinging me into such a cruel, terrible worl— aha, no, it turns out I can't even finish that with a straight face. If the only family present would be Jaime, very well. I am amenable. It's not that I don't enjoy, phrase used with serious reservations, fucking with Cersei, or fixing King's Landing, but I do so long for the days when people weren't trying to kill me.

Are there dragons, by any chance?

Comments

[thethingsidoforlove]

Fortunate for you, then, that Baedal boasts a certain lack of King to guard.

[theimp]

There is also substantially less of me to guard. Really I'm a boon to you in all ways.

[thethingsidoforlove]

I suspect you'll only need to fear for your life if the Targaryen dragon brats fail to tell us apart, and considering their make, it is a concern.

The Stark wench may not discriminate, of course. [ All that sparkles is Lannister. ]

[theimp]

Not to point all the blame at you, Jaime — let's be honest, the majority of this is going toward Cersei and father — but I am actually a little irritated about this. I befriended at least two Starks, yet they won't stop trying to kill me.

Ah, but I suppose bastards never count for anything.

[thethingsidoforlove]

Don't be so bleak, brother. I would sooner suggest they neglected to inform one another, or perhaps failed to notice - they're uniquely chilly, are the Starks.

It's a wonder they ever got around to breeding so much.

[theimp]

Yes, whereas we are all warmth and good feeling.

[thethingsidoforlove]

We've hot blood in our veins and red wine in our cups, instead of meltwater and paler vintages. It's something.

[theimp]

It's something.

[Forever biting tongue re: Tywin.]

[thethingsidoforlove]

[ /the mental equivalent of a kanye shrug ]

We'll be the only Lannisters in Baedal, thus far. Smile, Tyrion.

[theimp]

I am. There are dragons, Jaime.

[thethingsidoforlove]

Yes, the Beggar King and his Dothraki horseslut. Or have you discovered more? I'd welcome a challenge.

[theimp]

You can't kill dragons, Jaime! [PEARL-CLUTCHING!!!!] I mean real dragons and you know it.

[thethingsidoforlove]

Real dragons, then. I think the only other thing you're supposed to do with them is ride them. I'd like to see that.

[theimp]

Yes.

... I just hope the Targaryens don't get all embarrassing about it.

[GO HOME SOULBONDERS]

[thethingsidoforlove]

If not that, they'll find something else to be embarrassing about.