have a very little gilderoy lockhart

[gildylocks]

Dearest Mun,

Do you think all those people out there will understand that I'm meant to be famous due to how handsome, fashionable and talented I am? I do hope they won't tease me, like they do at school...

Perhaps they'll even ask for my autograph and take my picture? Oh, that'll be just marvelous!

Comments

[psimera]

...
What are you talented in?

[gildylocks]

Absolutely everything! And- and smiling. [ Mostly smiling. Gilderoy has very white teeth. To prove it, he gives the other boy an especially sparkly smile! ]

[psimera]

Everything?
That is illogical. Some skills would contradict each other.

[That is certainly a very impressive smile, Lockhart. Sadly, the Commander does not seem impressed, more confused.]

[gildylocks]

Oh. But... but don't you think I should be famous because of how amazing I am? [ Gilderoy isn't a very good listener and his vacant forget-me-not blue eyes betray just that. He looks hurt, as if the very notion that he's not amazing wounds him deeply~ ]

[psimera]

You have not yet given me reason to be impressed.

[gildylocks]

[ Gasp! ] Not even my smile or my hair?

[ He spend two hours styling his hair that morning. Was it all for nothing? ]

[psimera]

[Have a critical, evaluating glance, Lockhart.]

...
You might make a passable Happy Box merchant, if your rhetoric is improved.

Beyond that, I don't find appearance very valuable.

[rebel_loyalist]

You are indeed fashionable, but what is that next to one's inner strength? Tell me, young one, what is it you most excel at? What are these talents you are so proud of?

[gildylocks]

[ Flattery always makes Gilderoy smile and he makes sure to thank her properly for her kind words, like his mummy taught him to. ] Thank you, ma'am! Your dress is very beautiful as well.

[ He does feel very fashionable in his emerald green and silver robes. They're so much nicer than his drab school uniform, aren't they? ]

I excel at nearly everything, ma'am. I received twenty-six Valentine's Day cards last Valentine's Day!

[rebel_loyalist]

Valentine's Day? I confess I've not heard of this event. I presume it's a holiday in your world?

[gildylocks]

Why yes! It's a wonderful day, full of cards and chocolate and hearts.

[rebel_loyalist]

That sounds really quite lovely.

At any rate, I do not believe I have introduced myself. I am Senator Mon Mothma of Chandrila. And what may I call you?

[gildylocks]

[ A senator? Gosh, that sounds awfully important! ] It is wonderful, ma'am.

I am Gilderoy Lockhart! [ Just... Gilderoy Lockhart. If only he had an accomplishment to add to that. ] Some girls from Hufflepuff say I'm the prettiest boy in the entire school.

[energycreep]

You look like another perfectly ugly human to me.

Do you have any real talents that don't include being your own one man fanclub?

[gildylocks]

I beg your pardon! I am most certainly not ugly and quite good at-

M-merlin's beard, what are you? [ Gilderoy's eyes dart around for the nearest exit. ]

[energycreep]

Your opinion, grease sack.

I'm only some of the most advanced machinery in the known cosmos, so I understand if you're completely in awe.

[Alright so he liked to pad his own ego as well, but that is actually pretty much true.]

[gildylocks]

Gosh... you're very rude. You do know it's not polite to call people names, do you?

I'm not greasy at all. Why, I just bathed this morning, with the most lovely lavender soap. [ Aaand smiling again. ]

[energycreep]

Flattery will get you nowhere, friend.

All humans have things like sweat and dirt and tiny little microorganisms that eat their waste on them; you're no exception. I can see it on you.

Lavender is one of the most repulsive things I've ever smelled. [Egh, nature scents.]

[gildylocks]

[ Gilderoy's smile fades. ] I- I don't have to listen to you. Everyone knows germs don't live on clean wizards~!

Are you jealous because you don't have any wavy blonde hair, sir? Is that why you're unkind to me?

[gryffinlily]

Hello, Gilderoy.

[gildylocks]

Why hello there, Lily~! [ Gilderoy makes sure to smile his biggest, sparkliest smile at her. ]

You look awfully pretty today!

[gryffinlily]

I can say the same thing about you. [Aw she is fond of him. Those that make fun of him seem cruel.] How have you been?

[gildylocks]

Oh... thank you! I barely combed my hair this morning. [ It's an attempt to seem modest. Not a very good attempt, since she can probably tell Gilderoy styled each and every blonde curl individually. ]

[ Gilderoy likes Lily, she never teases him and when she shares her candy it's never hexed to turn his hair blue or his teeth yellow! ]

[gryffinlily]

I wish I could get away with that. [The attempt is appreciated. She likes it when he puts forth an effort - it means he does like her.] I'm afraid I would look like a spell backfired on me if I didn't brush my hair.

Did you manage to have an uneventful breakfast? [To be honest, she would gladly Hex those that played pranks on him. Maybe once she's Head Girl, she can make things better.]

[gildylocks]

[ Gilderoy smiles and runs a hand through his hair. ] Well, we can't all be born with perfect hair! But yours is such a pretty color, like.. strawberries. Or hearts!

[ He averts his eyes for a moment, to fidget with his Ravenclaw scarf. ] Well... I nearly ate a hexed piece of fudge, but then I remembered what you told me! You know, that people who don't like you wouldn't give you candy?

And it was from Peter, so I didn't eat it~!