Muse is feeling peckish; apparently it's his mun's fault

[ishotyouuu]

Do you know how long it's been.

No, seriously. Do you know. How long. It's BEEN?!

Do you know what it feels like to be surrounded by so many ridiculously attractive people and not being able to do anything about it? I know I've got two working hands and that's all well and good, but sometimes you like hearin' a voice other than your own, y'know?

And don't be givin' me all that PSL malarkey. More like "oh, let's give old Wade a taste of the good life and then just take it away from him". I know what you're up to, you foul temptress, and if you think I'm gonna stand for it you've got another think comin', you hear me? I will totally go Lysistrata on your ass.

Let's see how you like it when you've got all this pent-up inspiration and no way to act on it. Then we'll see who's crawling on their hands and knees.

...

...Oh god dammit that was a poor choice of words, wasn't it.

Come on! Just one time! Please?!

Comments

[escarabajo]

TMI, dude.

[ishotyouuu]

Oh, excuse me. Did I offend your delicate sensibilities?

You're talking to a man on the end of his rope here. Forgive me if I couldn't be more G-rated.

[ex_scintillating454]

I'm not sure what amuses me most but I think it was going Lysistrata on your mun's ass. So many things wrong with that, including you knowing Lysistrata.

[ishotyouuu]

What can I say? I'm classy as hell.

[crownless]

I say you go on strike until you get that little problem of yours taken care of.

[ishotyouuu]

Hey, there is nothing little about me, boyo. You of all people should know that by now.

[arach_nerd]

...yeah, there was no part of that I needed or wanted to hear.

/quietly threadjacks

[escarabajo]

See?

[ishotyouuu]

[SPIDEY GET THE FUCK OUT.]

Hey, just because you've got a free pass at the Buffet of Love doesn't mean some of us aren't desperately hunting for scraps.

[...he can't concentrate on making good metaphors when his this fucking horny okay]

[polkadotdeath]

I thought the major plot of Lysistrata was the withholding of sex as a punishment? Hardly see how that'll do you much good.

[ishotyouuu]

No, see-- it makes perfect sense. She's withholding sex from me, so in return I won't help her out with her roleplaying so that she doesn't have any ideas and thus... continues... to withhold...

Don't bring your logic into this, smartypants!

[tessie]

I hope you're not talking about what I think you're talking about.

[ishotyouuu]

That depends on what you think I'm talking about, sweetheart.

[strawberryredgrave]

Welcome to my world, pal.

[ishotyouuu]

[Oh hey look it's that guy he shared a beer with once. He thinks. It's all a bit hazy.]

Yeaaaah I'm finding that a bit hard to believe. I've seen those episodes of True Blood, dude. You supernatural types get it on practically 24/7. Or are you tellin' me the pretty girl hair doesn't do it for the chicks anymore?

[guiding]

[Oh dear, she can't help but laugh at his predicament. He's such a silly man.]

I am sure if you find the right person, your player will be all too willing to accommodate you.

[ishotyouuu]

[oh shit it's one of those ridiculously attractive people in question stay cool stay cool]

...what if I think I already have and she's too much of a pansy to actually follow through with it?

[jokester_not_joker]

This is a family show Mack!

But how about a chimichanga to drown your worries in?

[ishotyouuu]

Psh, like you're one to talk about family entertainment. I've seen the kind of shit you DC guys get up to.

In any case, I never claimed to be from a family comic. Some people actually finish the job they start, y'know. Violently. And with great pleasure, I might add.

And that's another weird thing-- why is it that it's perfectly okay to show me happily slicing my way through like a billion dudes but the minute I even think about getting my freak on the Moral Guardians start pooping their Pampers? It's not right, is all I'm sayin'.

[He's not gonna even touch that "chimichanga" crack. Fuck you, clown.]

[screeches]

[ ??? wade pls ] You haven't changed a bit while I wasn't looking, have you.

[ishotyouuu]

[...FUCK]

Oh. Um. H-Hey, Terry. How's tricks?

[shockjock]

[And all you're getting is laughter on this end, Wade]

[ishotyouuu]

[Man, they are just crawling outta the woodwork, aren't they.]

Yeah, yeah. Yuk it up, Miss Perkypants.

[walkietalkie]

Um...

How long what's been?

[ishotyouuu]

[OH SHI--]

...baseball. How long it's been since I've played baseball with someone.

[sarcasticat]

You just don't stop talking, do you?

[ishotyouuu]

[Oh hey look a talking cat.]

Not while I'm awake. No wait-- pretty sure I talk in my sleep, too. So, no. I don't. Why, you got a problem?