Reserved at vatheon

[embellisher]

Of all the places you could have chosen, it's one that's under the ocean.

A city under the ocean.

Under the ocean.

Let me repeat that one more time just in case you missed it: under the ocean.

Do you know what the ocean is? Here, let me describe it in two words: Liquid. Suffering. You don't put dwarves in oceans. They don't do very well down there. Me included.

You, messieur mun, are a sadistic, evil woman.

On the plus side, the Dwarven Merchant Guild isn't there. I'll give you that. It's a very big plus indeed.

...actually it might not be so bad down there after all. Sign me up.

Comments

[embellisher]

[He's not sure about the tubes thing, as Varric doesn't see what's wrong with plain old solid surface ground, but the temperature thing sounds nice.]

How do you do that? Is there a mage stationed in every room where you can be like, "make some fire, no too much, now make some ice. A little more fire, yes, that's perfect, now hold that for eight hours."

[blue_satin_shoes]

[She never said it wasn't unsettling. There's a lot of technology far beyond their time there, Varric.

She laughs at his guess though. Oh, the mages would hate that...]

No, no, nothing like that. It's... well, I'm not quite sure how it works. There's not a mage in every room, but you can say what temperature you'd like it to be and the room would change it for you.

[Maybe there was a mage controlling it somewhere...]

[embellisher]

So the room's a mage then.

[Blondie would flip his shit if he knew that.]

[blue_satin_shoes]

I'm not sure inanimate objects can become mages, though if the metal were living, it would explain how the doors can open and close on their own. I don't want to think about what the tubes would be, in that case.

[Yeah, that wasn't disturbing...]

[embellisher]

[He hopes they're not living. The amount of creepy that would be can't be measured in existing numbers.]

Maybe we should stop thinking about it. Just let it be one of those things you accept, like getting attacked by dragons.