dear_mun | A bored vampire is a dangerous vampire.

Which vampires aren’t worth killing?

[ A smirk. Vampires besides himself of course. Arrogant much Alucard?]

Good point. I should have said "worth the hunt".

[Because there's still the possibility that he might not be allowed to kill one vampire or another, given mundanes and their particulars.]

A much smaller number.

[ He chuckles low with a barely there grin. The city has several undead, they’re just underwhelming for the most part. ]

So I've noticed. I take it things are no better where you've been placed.

[He takes another long drag, then holds it casually up to the vampire's lips as though he hadn't just stolen it without asking.]

Is there anyone in that place worth your time?

Define worth. [ His mouth arches at the corner. ] There are a few interesting individuals who might prove a challenge once our power are restored.

[He vaguely remembers his writer reading something about power restoration when poking around. Something about a catch.]

Wasn't there some sort of condition to that?

[ Walter, Walter - you really shouldn't have asked. See that smirk? See it? ]

You have to fuck the required number of individuals to gain status and regain your powers.

[ And he says it without batting an eyelash. Now all that's left is to see if Walter explodes or not. ]

[For the moment, Walter is surprisingly calm. He's still calm for two reasons: 1, he doesn't have to do it, and 2, he doesn't have to clean it up.

What the vampire does get in return for his obscene candor is a positively baleful stare.]

The required number of individuals? You're going to bang multiple people?

[The question enters unbidden into his mind: Just how many is birds ~~and/or blokes~~ is the vampire going to fuck?

No. No, he doesn't want to know.]

[ Alucard meets Walter's foreboding look with an unabashed grin. Then again who expected Alucard to be embarrassed? He's certainly done far worse in his life than screw around. ]

I think it's more the required number of encounters one has. It doesn't have to be multiple people. However most of them all too willingly to bend their necks and - with certain aspects of vampirism suppressed - why not take advantage.

[ It's one of the few positive facts of life in Ariel. ]

In fact the government seems keen on increasing our natural appetites.

[And then there is Walter, who will apparently still be a virgin even at 70, and whose brows are presently furrowing with repressed embarrassment.]

I don't suppose those certain supressed aspects of vampirism include the creation of ghouls?

[ Walter, he thinks you need to lighten up. Hah. ]

That would be correct, and I won't be consuming their souls.

[ Pity that. ]

[If Walter lightened up easily, he wouldn't be Walter. Come back when you have a few disemboweled Nazis and/or vampires and maybe he'll be more amenable to your roguish charm.]

Pity that the ones who deserve to have something bad happen to them manage to escape it.

[He's secretly hoping the vampire will at least leave the little tarts sore. Yes, he does feel a little vindictive towards the unnamed strangers. He certainly doesn't think highly of them.]

You sound far more put out about this than I expected.

[ Then again he'll never understand exactly how the human mind works.

He's certainly left a few sore necks among other things. ]

And what did you expect?

[Other than to possibly fluster him, the thought occurs. The vampire hasn't quite hit the right button to do that just yet. But he's in the general territory to do so.]

Not this level of anger. Distaste? Yes.

[ His fingers strum lightly on the arm of the chair. ]

You're not jealous are you?

[Jealous? Jealous?! The very insinuation that he might want to switch places and behave as less than a common whore is more than enough to tip Walter's temper over the edge.

With a violent twitch and the clutching of the butler's fists, the explosion the vampire was looking for in the first place finally erupts.]

What the Hell led you to that conclusion!!

Well your complete outrage at the suggestion for one thing.

[ He looks entirely amused right now. Cheek resting on two fingers as he watches. It's good to know he hasn't lost his touch. ]

[Hey. That's justifying your hunch with information produced after the fact. That's CHEATING.]

I only got angry AFTER you said it!!

[ And when does he ever play fair. ]

Yet there is some truth to it. You're still fuming.

[ Tap, tap goes his finger. ]

Should guess why?

[Never. This is why the butler blows up at him so often.]

No!! You'll just come up with some wild accusation out of the blue so you can rile me up even more!!

[ Oh he can do that anyway~

Like so: ]

I see. There's only one mystery here. Are you jealous of me or for me?

[ If he can't shoot up the city, he might as well have some fun. ]

[The vampire just had to go there, didn't he. Hopefully he enjoys the feel of Walter's wires on his neck as part of the response.]

How dare you say such a thing, you bastard...!

[ Enjoy may be debatable, but he certainly doesn't seem to mind. Both hands catch the strings putting Walter in the position of having to possibly fight the vampire's strength to finish the job. ]

I don't here any denials, Angel.

[SMIRK]

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I'D NEVER WASTE MY TIME WITH A LOT OF STRUMPETS LIKE THAT!!

[Which is why Arthur essentially has to sneak behind his back to invite whores over. Of course, he has also just unintentionally given away the subject of his jealousy-- but he doesn't seem to notice, as he is presently too bent on trying to fight against his partner's vastly superior strength in order to strangle him.

Naturally, it's a useless endeavour to begin with as Alucard has no need to breathe, but the idea of it strikes Walter as an appealing way to relieve his stress. And at the moment, he is very stressed.]

So you do miss me.

[ The vampire’s hands twist in the wires again without care for whatever pain they might cause. Then it’s a quick jerk on them when he stands. Oh can taunt Walter further. In fact if the look of his eyes anything by which to judge, it’s practically on the tip of his tongue. ]

Not yet!

There seem to have been a few ones popping up lately. Maybe you'll get lucky.

Ahh we'll see!

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I'm going to apologize now for his dickery here.

No need to! I walked him into it knowing that sort of thing might happen.

Ahahh okies!

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He's jealous of the time all these strangers get to spend with his partner.

d'awww Walter

And now I must go run an errand. I shall return later.

Okies!

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This is why Walter can't have normal friends anymore.

He does work for Hellsing. There is no normal!

This is true. But even most people serving Hellsing die when their heads are cut off.

Well he's more interesting that way.