what am I even doing//forever homeless because WITCH-KING

[captainofdespair]

I see you've decided to release me. How foolish of you.

Find my master; I've reports to make.
The situation has changed.

[He got stabbed in the knee by a Hobbit of all creatures and it actually wounded him. This is a problem.]

Comments

[secondwave]

...!!!

[Protecting Bree from brigands is one thing. This? This ain't that. There's now one very frightened guardswoman cowering behind a shield.]

A... a-aah!

[captainofdespair]

[Oh he does love when they do that. Especially when they aren't shieldmaidens that are trying to stab him in the face.

He's going to take this grand opportunity to hiss out a breath and immediately take a swing with his sword.]

The time of Men is over.

[elvenking]

[o hai

used 2 b neighbors w/ ur boss

hes kind of a douchebag

so were u, come 2 think of it

diaf :)]

[captainofdespair]

[no u :D]

Elvenking. You have not fled with the rest of your kin yet, I see.

[ringbearer]

[ brb clutching shoulder in pain. on another note, congrats merry for stabbing this douchebag. ]

[captainofdespair]

[YOU THERE

YOU ARE A PAIN IN HIS ASS

he is so glad you are here so he can mock you. It will make him feel better about the whole 'favoring one leg' thing.]

Your she-elf and your companion shall not save you this time, Baggins.

i don't know what you're doing either but ilu

[needsnoking]

[my god were you always this ugly

and please to be giving back our dead decrepit city now with embarrassing architecture seriously what is with those gargoyles

HE DOESN'T CARE IF YOU'VE LIVED THERE FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND YEARS]

asldkfjsl ty i am glad you like it

[captainofdespair]

[you misspelled 'devastatingly terrifying handsome' there, bro

also no, he finally got that city to the cozy, green-glowing way he likes it hey, Kazmul said they'd look awesome shut up

MAYBE WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM HIS COLD, GHOSTLY FINGERS]

Ah. Son of the Steward of Gondor. So you yet live.

Merry has the perfect face for you (Also you are my new favorite person)

[bemerry]

[ Given the fact that his arm still has incredibly agonizing phantom pains from where he stabbed you, Merry is doing very admiriably at calmly smoking his pipe and smirking down at you. ]

Still limping around, are we? You're master's gone; he has no power here.

[ Now, now. It's not like you made it difficult ]

Such a smug, smug guy (alskdjflsjf I love you too)

[captainofdespair]

[After he finishes with you and your girlfriend he is so burning down the Shire. Just to prevent anything this mortifyingly embarrassing from happening again. He hasn't had to favor a leg like this in literal Ages.]

And how does your arm fare, Halfling? Stabbing the Lord of Ringwraiths bears no few consequences.

[Like his undying ire. Well, he's glad of that, at least.]

[darklordofrings]

[ Speak of your master and he will appear.]

Has Minas Tirith falling to you yet?

[captainofdespair]

[He is so, so glad to see you, sir.]

Their Steward was easily broken, my Lord, and their Wizard is now useless to them; his staff is shattered. However, Gondor has received unexpected aid from Rohan and the Corsairs are late in arriving.

A Halfling and a woman have found my end.

[There are a few billion problems coming up.]

[kinginexile]

Your master has been long dead. Do not bring your evil here.

[Thorin kind of up and died before Sauron came back. So he's not gotten the low down on this one ring business.]

[captainofdespair]

[You poor guy. All that trouble you go through and you don't even get to the really nasty part.]

Lord Sauron would not be slain by a mere Man, and I go where he bids me and where I please. Or would you be the one to stop me, Dwarf?

[thelastking]

[How can the dead still walk? He honestly can't believe his eyes right now.]

[needsnoking]

[HEY YOU LED AN ARMY OF GHOSTS]

[captainofdespair]

So shocked that I yet stand, Heir of Isildur?

[Or limp, rather, much as he's trying to mask the injury to his leg.]

[therangerking]

[

Go away Witch-King no one wants you here. ]

[captainofdespair]

[Too bad, Kingbro. You don't have your army of angry green ghosts so NOW WHAT?]

Since occasionally I have to say this: Not Hermione, just using her as a PB

[seaspraysorceress]

The whole scary black knight thing? Doesn't work when you're limping.

Got it!

[captainofdespair]

[He is going to take over your kingdom just on principle now. Provided he can find it.

As it stands he plants his foot and - gingerly - draws up to his full height, armor scraping and creaking under his cloak.
At least there's no change in his expression. Having no face is more useful than he'd admit.]

I am no mere knight.

[favorthebold]

Do you know, domè, for someone who makes my hostess choke with excitement, you don't look like much.

[captainofdespair]

[Is there some eternal font of snarky people here or is he just lucky?

Though he's quite pleased with the reaction from this fellow's hostess, even if he prefers 'choking with terror'.]

How curiously impudent of you. Do you not know death when you see him?

[sonof_thrain]

[Uh-oh. A evil spawn of Sauron himself.]

You should do well to crawl back into the hell hole whence you came.

[captainofdespair]

[Hey, he resents that. He was a Man in his own right before he faded.]

Would you be the one to force me if I refuse, deposed King of Dwarves? I will not return to that tomb I was freed from.

did someone call I'M SORRY I'M NOT SURE WHAT i"M DOING EITHER

[lordof]

[so witch king of angmar

you've found me.]



I see you've failed in your task. [jfc boy now we have to get you a new knee. do you know how much those cost.]

omg yay EXCELLENT WE WON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TOGETHER

[captainofdespair]

[You're looking less like a giant flaming eyeball than usual, sir.

He hopes you don't mind if he forgoes going down on one knee for now. The whole 'stabbed by a hobbit' is embarrassing enough without his knee crumpling under him again.]

I had not anticipated their resistance would be so stringent. The fault lies with me.

[Oh come on as if the budget ever concerned us before.]

[bidtheewelcome]

Thy failure at the City of Men shall not be forgotten by Sauron the Great.

[captainofdespair]

I shall answer for my failings, as I ever have, but I was not entirely absent success.

Every thread in this post is killing me kthx.

[veiled_hero]

[Oh.

Bilbo's faced his share of nasty creatures, but this? This is a new particular breed. Frankly, from the bad feeling he's getting, he'd rather have just seen an orc or goblin. Or a troll. Those were terribly easy to outsmart.]

asldfjslfj yay! Mission accomplished >:3?

[captainofdespair]

[Oh no.

More Hobbits.

But this one he doesn't recognize. He hadn't traveled with the one carrying the Ring, unless their troupe had picked up another one after he'd lost his horse. Unlikely.

He tips his head slightly.]

You are different.

uh-oh. gramps has come to put his bearded bling against you ;)

[bearded_blingking]

[What in Durin's name?-]

Be gone foul demon. You shalt not have my gold nor my kingdom.

eeeee I love that username :3

[captainofdespair]

[Uh-oh. More Dwarves. They do seem to enjoy calling him 'foul'.]

I've little interest in your gold. Your kingdom, however, belongs to my Master. He will have it.