dear_mun | what am I even doing//forever homeless because WITCH-KING

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what am I even doing//forever homeless because WITCH-KING

I see you've decided to release me. How foolish of you.

Find my master; I've reports to make.
The situation has changed.

[He got stabbed in the knee by a Hobbit of all creatures and it actually wounded him. This is a problem.]

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[The important part is being evil to other people anyway. Being decent to your lieutenants is just smart business.]

I would not expect you to, my Lord. [He straightens up without even a hiss at the pain in the back of his knee and squares his shoulders at the scrutiny.] We must locate your Ring; the Men of Gondor did not take it to Minas Tirith as I anticipated.

[Thranduil seems like a tolerable guy, for an Elf. Them and their glowing and tree-hugging are really off-putting though. We should get back on evicting them.

The only problem is that we'll eventually run out of them. They just don't make Numenoreans like they used to, do they.]

[the dark side does have cookies. and life insurance health benefits. which doesn't amount to much when you're dead or dying all the time, but, hey, it's the thought that counts.

mildly satisfied for the moment. but the mention of the ring takes his attention away with a hiss.]

Ever do they seek to thwart their fate. Even Saruman, the Wise... an unfortunate loss. [a minor one. teensy eensy bit.] Continue the search. [...] ..When you may walk properly again.

[saruman gets stabbed by his own lackey, the messenger gets his head cut off (or the shit scared out of him-- it varies from version to version), the witch king gets his kneecap busted.. when did this turn into a medieval thug brawl. things were better when morgoth was still around, unless his soul.]

[He's still not sure if the health benefits cover him or if 'being undead and mostly incorporeal' falls under pre-existing conditions. Not that it matters since hey, evil isn't too bad anyway.]

I expect no different from them, though it is a disappointment nevertheless. [Not that he'd ever particularly liked Saruman himself. He dips his head in acknowledgement.] I shall send the others in my stead, until I have recovered.

[After he catches a ride back to Minas Morgul. The woman that was about to stab him in the face kind of murdered his Fell Beast, and he doesn't look forward to walking home from Gondor on his busted leg.
Modern Men are just so much more rude than they used to be. All that backstabbing and decapitation and kneecapping.]

[replacement of loss limbs is covered. and being burnt by fire despite being undead and mostly incorporeal. being stabbed through the helmet by a woman, though.... we'll need to sit down and have a talk about that.

yeah saruman was kind of a loser, we could've picked a better wizard.]

I will have faith in your judgment, then. [we'll get you a mumak, how's that.

they just don't make men like they used to anymore. :< ah, numenoreans, he misses them so.]

[Being set on fire sucked so hard. So did getting nearly drowned despite being undead and mostly incorporeal. At least he got dragged here about .12 seconds before he got stabbed in the face? He's so sorry about that, next time he will invest in a faceguard. Even though he doesn't have a face ~~that most people can see~~.

If only there were more Wizards to choose from.]

I appreciate your confidence in me, my Lord. [So long as Elves don't attack it. He just has the worst luck with mounts lately, it's kind of annoying.

So does the Witch-King. They were so much more pleasant than the Men now. Not that he's biased or anything...]